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Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 9:38 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:42 pm
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Fear My Bloody Fangs. Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:45 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:50 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 6:57 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:01 pm
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Fear My Bloody Fangs. Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 7:09 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:05 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:16 pm
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Hey, slash! *celebrates* Not pairings that I usually read, but as far as slash goes, I'll try anything once. Anyways, I do have some constructive criticism, if you don't mind.
First, sometimes you have some problems with words, for instance, Fred and George told Molly they would 'own' her, I think (I hope!) you meant owl. There are also some comma issues, but I think it just needs to be proofread a little more carefully.
I'm a little bit curious as to what year this takes place in and why Fred and George don't seem to interact with any Weasleys other then their mother at the beginning, but I suppose it's just skipping past the boring, non-slashy bits.
There is also some slight problems with what my old English teacher called period placement, which is whether the period belongs inside or outside of the quotation marks.
Other than that, though, it was very enjoyable, a very good story. Loved the cliffie at the end, can't wait to see what happens next!
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:29 pm
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Empress_Kat Hey, slash! *celebrates* Not pairings that I usually read, but as far as slash goes, I'll try anything once. Anyways, I do have some constructive criticism, if you don't mind. First, sometimes you have some problems with words, for instance, Fred and George told Molly they would 'own' her, I think (I hope!) you meant owl. There are also some comma issues, but I think it just needs to be proofread a little more carefully. I'm a little bit curious as to what year this takes place in and why Fred and George don't seem to interact with any Weasleys other then their mother at the beginning, but I suppose it's just skipping past the boring, non-slashy bits. There is also some slight problems with what my old English teacher called period placement, which is whether the period belongs inside or outside of the quotation marks. Other than that, though, it was very enjoyable, a very good story. Loved the cliffie at the end, can't wait to see what happens next!
oh crap, thats waht i meant. owl not own. oops. and it takes place in their 7th year
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:33 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 8:42 pm
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Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 9:48 pm
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