Fizzy's POETRY EDITING Contest [WINNERS ANNOUNCED]

[U n d r a w n]

OMG I'M DOING THIS.

*Claims Betta Fish spot*
Cause I'm the betta man for the job! emotion_awesome

emotion_facepalm FAILjoke!

Any FEEDBACK BROS???

[fizznomore]

Holy Wars In My Fistula

Alright, this is just my placeholder. I'm expecting a lot of edits to be made on it.

Awesome.

U n d r a w n

biggrin

[fizznomore]

Delifish

After stewing over it for the past week, I've decided to enter. Now... which poem to edit... decisions, decisions...

Yay!

Power Armor Felix

I didn't even know this stuff existed! Fizzle's contest must account for 99.9% of OP/L activity right now ninja

Doing what I can.

Rin Sela

Username: Rin Sela

You're on the list. smile

[onyx2047]

Alrighty, so I have a thread in the OP/L Forum that I can choose any one of my poems to be reviewed. Many of them were written a while ago and quite sloppily, I admit. Despite the fact that I requested no technical critiques, ( because I wanted the thread to be more of an inspirational/conversational thread ) I wish to enter this contest. Hmm...but which sloppy poem to choose? xD

[fizznomore]

onyx2047

Alrighty, so I have a thread in the OP/L Forum that I can choose any one of my poems to be reviewed. Many of them were written a while ago and quite sloppily, I admit. Despite the fact that I requested no technical critiques, ( because I wanted the thread to be more of an inspirational/conversational thread ) I wish to enter this contest. Hmm...but which sloppy poem to choose? xD

I did see your thread. I suggest picking one or two and setting up a thread for your entry to be workshopped. Glad you're entering and best of luck! Happy editing!

[onyx2047]

Fizzlesticks

Thanks. You know what is so funny about all of this? Is that when I wrote/write my poetry I am so focused on wanting to convey my message or feeling that I err on the side of grammar. I use to think that grammar and punctuation in poetry didn't matter. Only because poetry is a form of expression and shouldn't be nit-picked on, blah blah blah. Although the "grammar rules" are different for poetry, it's still important. I am glad you have this contest up. I think more people could benefit from trying it out.

-Tosses you a cookie- 4laugh

[Tahrillo]

Woah, I am so sorry, I haven't been here for a while. When the real world attacks... O_O

[fizznomore]

Tahrillo

Woah, I am so sorry, I haven't been here for a while. When the real world attacks... O_O

Ditto. But there's still time!

[fizznomore]

Hey, all! Less than two weeks till entries close, so it's time to start finalising your poems!

[AngelHanten]

i remember the time you and i would play,
we would swim in a big laundry basket and
play hide and seek,

i miss your smile and your pretty blue eyes,
i miss your laugh and your weirdness,

i just wish you could come back,
i wish you had never left and that
the drunk driver that took your life hadnt of drunken all that he did,

i have night mares at night of you there in your casket,
i also have dreams about you watching over me,

i love you little brother and i want you to know i will always remember and love you.

[fizznomore]

AngelHanten

i remember the time you and i would play,
we would swim in a big laundry basket and
play hide and seek,

i miss your smile and your pretty blue eyes,
i miss your laugh and your weirdness,

i just wish you could come back,
i wish you had never left and that
the drunk driver that took your life hadnt of drunken all that he did,

i have night mares at night of you there in your casket,
i also have dreams about you watching over me,

i love you little brother and i want you to know i will always remember and love you.

Hi,

Please read the rules and instructions before entering.

Cheers,

Fizz

[fizznomore]

HEY GUYS! It's time to finalise your entries. We close the competition in mere DAYS.

<3

lebayum

MissAlice-Everlasting

lebayum

Tahrillo

iiMusicAddict

Lyrca

Shyania

Scarlotte

EstoPerpetua

Sonic Ambrose

La Chatte du Cirque

Xxmelie877xX

XoX_aome_XoX

FrostedMidnight

U n d r a w n

Holy Wars In My Fistula

Rin Sela

[Lyrca]

Username: Lyrca.
Age: 18.
Link to edits/workshopped poem: Here.
Have you read and understood the rules? Yes sir.
Poem:
The grass is always greener on the other pesticide,
That's why you never say a thing when we're on the inside,
The doors eat us whole in this 'Sanctuary Of Divide',
So next time our mouths shoot and our bullets collide,
We can always know that this is why we lied.

It's not like our breaths shot out chemically,
We aren't choking but we're hoping we won't fall to our tendencies.
The addiction to your eyes is my death penalty,
These aren't pheromones they're just a little extra ecstasy.
When we lost our identities we just wandered recklessly.

I don't know if we're walking through clouds or an asymptote*,
But on this algebra graph we're falling down a slippery slope,
This just isn't the ******** book I sat down and wrote.
So you better find the new 'solve all problems' antidote.
Or so help me God... I'm losing hope.

And I don't want to be the one to stop the slander,
I feed off our pain like PMSing girls to a vampire,
So leave me to drown under the weight of this anchor,
I'm going down with this ship and down with this anger.

Don't let me drown. Don't let me drown...

I don't want to die as this water's fiery amber.
I just want to live as the newest commander.
"Chill them all" should be the only order to my bystanders.

[MissAlice-Everlasting]

Fizzlesticks

HEY GUYS! It's time to finalise your entries. We close the competition in mere DAYS.

<3

MissAlice-Everlasting

Just finalised Mine whee I had forgotten about it, thanks for the reminder