Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023| Reminder 2024]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 812 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 138 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.5%	[ 152 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.2%	[ 117 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.1%	[ 280 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.7%	[ 270 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 169 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	3.0%	[ 82 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	27.3%	[ 759 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2779 ]

[Greedy Glamour]

drogas drogas

It's about time my life gets ******** better.

[overfiend thunderchrist]

No red-and-yellow-eyed girls at the party. Oh well. crying

/

You didn't have to respond if you were busy. Geez.

///

I'd just promised myself to stop Tumbling on the toilet and now here I am, giving myself hemorrhoids. In my defense, I just ate a LOT of ******** brownies at John's. rofl sweatdrop redface

[hyruled]

I guess today is just a little unsettling. What can I do, I can't help but feel this way. Although I know there are just some things i'll never understand. All I wish right now is that she was in my arms. All day at work I'd randomly think of cute things and I was happy and It's just sad when the other person isn't happy too. Regardless of the problem or what caused it I feel not far from helpless on the issue.

Our relationship is sometimes hard because we're far apart. But I feel closer to her than ever and no distance can take that away. And It's like when she's not happy how can I be. And I'm not saying that selfishly I could almost care less about myself half the time. It's just hard to be happy when someone you care so much for isn't.

I'm so exhausted right now. And I work really early, and quite s long shift. I just wish to hold onto her and not leg go.

[hyruled]

All the dreams I had last night turned into nightmares. I hope tonight's better. I'd prefer a dreamless sleep.

[overfiend thunderchrist]

I don't remember her face or even the shape of her hair. At this point, I just remember the strangeness of her eyes.

They were beautiful in her face but outside of it they're unsettling as hell.

I wonder if she might have been a servant of the Great Old Ones, watching me and making sure I didn't start killing their other followers like I've promised to.

That would be weird if my dreams did that. Try to mask the ugliness I read about with the beauty I imagine.

Well, it won't work.

I'm much too frazzled thinking about someone else (who is real) to fall for that outside of my dreams. Deal. dramallama

[overfiend thunderchrist]

The curtain’s closing
Nobody knows
Where she’s going;
She runs into the night alone
The moon will guide her
Without a trace
I can’t try to find her
'Cause I don’t know her face

I feel it (woah oh oh)
Your demon (woah oh oh)
I see the daggers coming from your eyes
And they cut right through me, cut right through me

[xe brat prince]

☈
So my last period was nine weeks ago...
It makes me rather nervous. Maybe it's just the birth control ******** up my system, but I dunno... Birth control works by forcing your body into a cycle with the placebo pills, which hasn't happened with me. And this isn't the kind that stops your period all together.
I haven't missed any pills, though, save for one placebo pill which doesn't really matter since it's placebo.

Blegh. And I can't even make it to the doctor for a couple of weeks.

Although, according to this forum this is common on the pill I have. This kind of ticks me off. That would've been something fantastic to know BEFORE it was given to me. But the OBGYN I saw was kind of a ******** psycho so he didn't really explain jack s**t to me.
Only reason I'm going back to him is because I know he'll actually keep giving me the pill, and that can't be guaranteed with any other doctor...

[overfiend thunderchrist]

Talking to Ms. Graham was interesting and insight-granting, although I think she's a spiritualist and my comment about being an atheist was off-putting. I only brought it up because my lack of a belief in a god makes my birth name irrelevant (even if it wasn't the original inspiration for my current name.)

Why does everyone have to ask why I don't go by my legal name? It doesn't describe me as well as my pen name and that should be good enough for people who supposedly respect and know me.

You can't trust me to describe myself? ******** that noise. talk2hand

///

This whole red-and-yellow-eyed girl thing makes me want to write a story, poem, or both about the dream. Or at least something about the intersection of beauty and strangeness (two of my favourite things.)

*sigh*

I wish I wasn't so tired. I want to stay up and work on things. Oh well. crying

///

I had a really, really good night with John after the party. I think our friendship is finally mending. I'm so happy about this DLS I cannot describe. I am tearing up a bit as I type this post.

He's the way all religious people should be if they hope to have their religions survive: able to understand the perspectives of others and move outside of his own perspective for the sake of intellectual curiosity and consideration. Maybe he's more *politically* conservative than Dan and Tali, but I find myself having a lot more intellectual respect for him than for them. He's really come from behind and impressed me with his mental ability. As it should be. whee

[xe brat prince]

☈
So I just looked up the price on the birth control I'm on and HOLY MOTHER OF ******** GOD.
Why is it so expensive!?! Ridiculous!

That's my goal for tomorrow, I think. Look at and apply for some sort of medical thing. Medicare or Medicaide or whatever it's called. I'd do it now, but I doubt 30 mins is enough time to do it.

[the naughty buddha]

I am so excited to go home today.
I didn't have it in me to tell her that I'm leaving because of her. As much as she irritates me with her screaming and sleeping all day...I dunno. I just can't be a d**k like that.
I cannot wait to see my chunky monkey and snuggle her until she can't stand it. Ugh. I am so excited. And then I'll be getting my baby soon ; n; He's a little orange ball of handsome fluff. Well, I think he's a boy. I don't know for sure but he strikes me as male. I haven't even thought of a name yet. I'll probably go with Frasier. Frasier or Bucephalus. Can you imagine what kind of a badass cat he'd be? It would be so awesome D:<
My head feels weird. Mm. I suppose it could be drowsiness. I hope it's nothing bad. You never know with me. I'm so paranoid that I can never tell the difference between what's real and what's being made up.

[venus a n d bacchus]

I'm sorry


gosh.

I hate when i get like this.

[Hopelessly Yours Alabama]

I'm not sure if I could even be friends.
Like I want to be, but at the same time, I'm hurt right now.
And well, I would just end up being an a*****e to you.
I really don't want to be, so I just haven't talked to you.

[Apathetic Cryptid]

Hnng.


#Sexualfrustration

[Sunny Abnormality]

today was a cool day.
i think i've had it coming for a while, god i needed a break from the constant anxiety.