Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023| Reminder 2024]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 811 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 138 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.5%	[ 152 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.2%	[ 117 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.1%	[ 280 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.7%	[ 270 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 169 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	3.0%	[ 82 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	27.3%	[ 759 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2778 ]

[your head]

i turned it in.
i've never been less proud of a paper.
but whatever right. whatever. it seems so.. irrelevant.

[Ambien Dreams]

I don't know what I did to my left hand but it is screaming every time I try and do anything with it. I'm supposed to be on a major cleaning spree for the inspection tomorrow. Like usual I end up being useless.

[Ramona in Koholint]

"Hello, new friend! My name is Fred.
The words you hear are in my head.
I say! I said, 'My name is Fred'
and I've been very...
Naughty."

To be Ramona in Koholint.
Just the thought and I want to go and stay gone.
Is it the breakup? Is this what this is?
That I'm alone and I can't cope?

I'm ******** tired.

Goodbye, dear aunt. I'll miss your farm,
And Eustace's ebullient charm.
And farewell Courage; what's the harm,
If I was slightly...
Naughty.

[Ramona in Koholint]

"Hello, new friend! My name is Fred.
The words you hear are in my head.
I say! I said, 'My name is Fred'
and I've been very...
Naughty."

There isn't a single comfort that I want.
There isn't a person I want to talk to,
nothing I want to eat or drink other than water.
Nowhere I'd want to go
nowhere I'd want to live
nowhere nowhere nowhere

but the island.
and it makes me sick
if anyone knew how badly
it makes me ******** sick.

Goodbye, dear aunt. I'll miss your farm,
And Eustace's ebullient charm.
And farewell Courage; what's the harm,
If I was slightly...
Naughty.

[Ambien Dreams]

I sometimes feel like I don't know where to put the things on my mind. Here? There? I just don't know. I just know that I'm feeling really sad about this stupid occurrence and I'm wondering if I should indulge in more ice cream.
It's so stupid. So stupid.

[Ramona in Koholint]

"Hello, new friend! My name is Fred.
The words you hear are in my head.
I say! I said, 'My name is Fred'
and I've been very...
Naughty."

enough dramatics for one night,
i'm going to close my eyes and hold my dogs.

Goodbye, dear aunt. I'll miss your farm,
And Eustace's ebullient charm.
And farewell Courage; what's the harm,
If I was slightly...
Naughty.

[Ambien Dreams]

I could have anything. I have admirers.
But when it comes to forming and making and keeping friendships I'm empty.
With all these people around who say they are there for me I still feel cornered into a wall all by myself.

[KairiWillSwantonYou]

Ƭħε ρεηɗυℓυϻ sϮιℓℓ sωαʏs ϝѳʀ ʏѳυ,
$υcħ αrε Ϯħε ɗαʀκs ħεrε Ϯѳ sħѳω ʏoυ, cħιℓɗ ιn α cѳʀηεʀ,
Ϝαℓℓεη ϻιʀʀѳʀs, αℓℓ κιηԍɗѳϻ ιn cιηɗεʀs.


Leave.

[The_Final_Princess]

We spoke the other day about our scars.

He said he remembers the reason behind each and every one of them
And I got upset because I don't remember the reasons behind mine.
Apart from one.
I didn't tell him that.
I remember the one half way down my arm,
i remember screaming and crying.
I remember feeling like there was no hope left.
I remember cutting into my skin with my razor blade.
I remember the blood on my floor.
I remember the pain - emotion and physical.
And most importantly - I remember the reason.
Someone broke my heart.
They took me and used me and threw me away like I was nothing.
They made me believe that I was nothing.
And so, I wanted to be nothing. I wanted it all to end.

I couldn't stop thinking about that person last night
about all the things that had happened between us.
They were such stupid things and yet, each time he hurt me I just came crawling back.
I thought I didn't deserve anything better.
So I carried on letting him hurt me
and then I'd hurt myself because I was stupid enough to let him
and because I thought that if he was hurting me then I should hurt myself too.

Stephen told me his scars remind him of how much an an arsehole he is
and remind him not to be that person again.
He said that it's good I don't remember why I have scars because it means I can move on.
In all honesty though, my scars remind me what an arsehole I was too.
I'm afraid that when they fade and I can't see them anymore that I'll turn into that stupid, hateful girl again who thinks that she doesn't deserve anything more than abuse.
I'm afraid of forgetting the pain I went through to become a better person.

I don't want to forget my scars or my pain.
I don't want to turn into that weak person again
I don't want to self harm again
but as my scars fade more and more
the urge comes back stronger and stronger.
reminding me that I deserved those scars.
I deserved that pain.
And that they should be there for life and if they're not then I should make them stay.
I should cut myself again.
My head is telling me that I need them
while my heart is telling me that I don't.
I don't deserve the pain anymore because I'm better than that
but I need those scars to remind me of that fact.
Without them, I'm afraid I'll relapse.
and That just makes me want to make more so that I don't.

Everything is pointing to eventual self harm.
I don't think I'll ever be over this urge.
I don't think I'll ever be able to stop.
Eventually, I will pick up my knife or razor and I will hurt myself.
And I will regret it.
But I will be happy.
I will be calm.
Because I did it on my terms,
and not because of someone else.

[your head]

what am i feeling so weird about.
i'm stressed and confused and.. nervous.

[your head]

i've thrown away the two most important things in my life for something that might never happen.
am i on the wrong track?

there's still time to go back but i don't want to.
maybe i've prioritized my wants too high.

[Saelrian]

I'm upset because I can't think of anyone to draw. Who should I draw? ...

[Chronogenesis]

yum_tea
Watching that one live performance that started my love affair with this artist.
Bachelorette.
Oh my.
I could team it up with Thunderbolt, but I wouldn't make it out of the house if I did.

[KKKKKotton]

Hello there!