The minds eye
An eye so beautiful
That to blind it would be a sin
The minds eye
So powerful that it sees into her soul
It pains those with a keen one
The minds eye
Opens the world of dreams
And closes off reality
The minds eye
Can plague the strong as well as the weak
Regardless of their age
The minds eye
So painful it is when it fully opens
The words of sorry becomes your reality
The minds eye
So drowsy, so sleepy
For most people
The minds eye
If looks could kill
It could kill you in your sleep
Opening the gates
To heaven or hell
The question is….
Has your minds eye opened.
An eye so beautiful
That to blind it would be a sin
The minds eye
So powerful that it sees into her soul
It pains those with a keen one
The minds eye
Opens the world of dreams
And closes off reality
The minds eye
Can plague the strong as well as the weak
Regardless of their age
The minds eye
So painful it is when it fully opens
The words of sorry becomes your reality
The minds eye
So drowsy, so sleepy
For most people
The minds eye
If looks could kill
It could kill you in your sleep
Opening the gates
To heaven or hell
The question is….
Has your minds eye opened.
IN LOVING MEMORY
Current mood: numb
In loving memory
To my sister
That I never knew
My insanities origin
In loving memory
To that little angel
Who's life
So brief changed my life so drastically so painfully
Whose life ill never know one that I'll never nurtured, so fragile
And no matter how much I cried for her, she was so far from me, from us
In loving memory of
One little girl that
No matter what
Will always stand
By her brothers
No matter if they
Seem to forget.
Because she still so much
Loves them all and protects them
From all the evil in the world that would
Only bring them closer to her, before their time
In loving memory to my little sister and though I can't stress
She was the indirect cause.
One death.
Caused all my insanity.
To my sister
That I never knew
My insanities origin
In loving memory
To that little angel
Who's life
So brief changed my life so drastically so painfully
Whose life ill never know one that I'll never nurtured, so fragile
And no matter how much I cried for her, she was so far from me, from us
In loving memory of
One little girl that
No matter what
Will always stand
By her brothers
No matter if they
Seem to forget.
Because she still so much
Loves them all and protects them
From all the evil in the world that would
Only bring them closer to her, before their time
In loving memory to my little sister and though I can't stress
She was the indirect cause.
One death.
Caused all my insanity.
A Distant memory
Current mood: forgotten
A Distant memory
This life I live
Feels so distant to me
My existence my place
Seems so distant to me
My family my friends
So close but yet so far
These memories I have
Aren't mine in the least
Merely someone's fantasy
The things I thought we true
Were planted here by you
As I dream of you
You dream of him
The one you crushed me for.
And when the time comes
And he gets you too
Karma plays no favorites
Fates a b***h
And Destiny's the same.
You've come back to me
I wonder why
You've notice I'm the better guy
I wave to you and say hello
Then politely ask "who are you"
You look to me with a puzzled glance
And wonder if I'm kidding
You tell things that only I could know.
But all I say is…
I can't remember.
I removed you from me.
Like lobotomy
You need me now more then ever
And all know is I can't remember
These scattered memories
This distant dream
These things I knew
Given by you
Left as I did
And won't be returned
Time isn't your friend
It's just another name for death
To stop death is to stop time
And he is the keeper of memories
He is so close but yet still distant
To remember you, ill got to him
And collect this distant memory.
This life I live
Feels so distant to me
My existence my place
Seems so distant to me
My family my friends
So close but yet so far
These memories I have
Aren't mine in the least
Merely someone's fantasy
The things I thought we true
Were planted here by you
As I dream of you
You dream of him
The one you crushed me for.
And when the time comes
And he gets you too
Karma plays no favorites
Fates a b***h
And Destiny's the same.
You've come back to me
I wonder why
You've notice I'm the better guy
I wave to you and say hello
Then politely ask "who are you"
You look to me with a puzzled glance
And wonder if I'm kidding
You tell things that only I could know.
But all I say is…
I can't remember.
I removed you from me.
Like lobotomy
You need me now more then ever
And all know is I can't remember
These scattered memories
This distant dream
These things I knew
Given by you
Left as I did
And won't be returned
Time isn't your friend
It's just another name for death
To stop death is to stop time
And he is the keeper of memories
He is so close but yet still distant
To remember you, ill got to him
And collect this distant memory.
Read outside the lines.
Current mood: apathetic
How much time will be
Erased from her life
Remembering that day
In dreams and nightmares
Nothing will ever be the same
No one ever knew
Once upon a time
Certain people would have saved her
Even they had other things that day
Never again should she feel safe
Cutting into herself again
Easing her mind to recollect what occurred
Withering away from us
Another conflict
Strikes at her heart
Taking away another part of her
Awake forever her suffering will be
Killing the sanity of her brother
Empathizing with her pain
Noticing all the strain
Angered that he wasn't there
Wishing he could change it
Arguing with himself
Yeah…she'll never be the same
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Hate
All this hate
This anger this hate
Fuels these outburst
These cuts
These situations.
And all I have left if hate
You took from me so many things
My love, my forgiveness, my sanity
And all the things I've given you
Has all but gone to waste
And all I have is hate
You want me now
I couldn't care
You miss me
Too late for that
You'd give up all the rest
Just to have me back by your side
You wish it would be that simple
And I turn to you, I smile and softly say
In the way I always spoke to you.
I have nothing to say but…
I Hate You.
UNTIL THE END
Current mood: depressed
Until the end
My eyes close
My mind opens
I wonder about you.
Your phone drops
You voice rises
You're tired of it all.
I say things
That I regret
You retaliate
And seal our fate.
I'm dying inside
And so are you.
Your words like daggers cut my soul
My words like bullets desecrate you
We hang up the phone.
You drop to the floor
I rant and I rave
I curse ever meeting you
You curse ever loving me
I hate you
You love me
We fight and fight
Until the end.
Friday, January 25, 2008
some people ask for too much
If I could…
Tell you my feelings
Hold u to me
Make u feel safe
Help you through it all
Get you all the things you want
I would
I've tried to…
Change your mind about me
Prove to you I love you
Be their for you
Be the partner you dreamed of
Get you to love me
But failed
I want you…
To want me
To love me
Listen to me
Be there for me.
But that's too much for you
I'm asking for to much
I'm being selfish?
It's all about me?
But I'm doing all I can
I'm doing all you want me too
But I'm doing to little
It's not enough for you
You want gold from lead
Life from death
Heaven from hell
Well.
I've got one word.
Two syllables
Goodbye.
Analasys of life and death
Analysis on life and death
From life to Death
It's said life's only the first part to death.
The Egyptians thought that
The Hindu's believe it
The Christians, the Jews, the Catholics believe it.
And it's still not proven
Whether there is anything after this
This existence that we live
This Dream that we have
And to think that we might not even live.
This eternity of life may only be an hour dream.
A dream that seems to last forever
Life is the first step in death
Death is the first into eternity
We don't know how it is there
We don't know what happens when we step to eternity
All that we know is that we do.
And there's no way to stop it
Then we get to a point where
There is no eternity; there is neither life nor death
We are just removed from this plane of existence, This time.
And placed some were else.
Our bodies recycled our emotions reused
And still we feel like we are unique.
But we are exactly the same as we were the last time
The same mistakes the same choices
And we feel unique.
The truth is we are all copies.
Duplicates of ourselves
Destined to be alone
And to repeat our lives over and over
And when we do make a slight break through
We die. Or we get reset.
Like a game that didn't go as it shoulda
Like a do over of a higher up.
Some one that can control you
Someone that has controlled you
To some this is there god.
An all seeing thing that sets our path for us to live
And knowing that sooner or later we get off the path
Or sending it to a dead end for the sheer joy of it
If this is its purpose then why
Why is this "person" so cruel?
To take people out of our live
Put people that shouldn't into it.
And when he gets bored like a child with an ant farm
He wipes them all out and starts with a new set.
But it's never truly new.
Just the same old things that we were or a new set of things
To see what needs to be changed for the betterment
Of life or even the planet
This world has been reset so many times
That its only a matter of time till the "master" grows bored of us.
And casts us aside as the worthless trash that we truly are
We have no purpose, no value
No reason
But to accept that
Life is the first part of death.
In the state of Emo
Current mood: depressed
Category: Writing and Poetry
Why
Why do I want you?
Yearn for you?
Put you before myself?
Why?
Why do I still think of you?
Dream of you?
Want you beside me?
Why?
Why am I jealous of him?
Cry for you?
Still want you?
Why?
Why can't I get you out of my head?
Out of my heart?
What hallow chasm of one I have left.
Why?
Why don't you want me?
Aren't I good enough?
Can't you accept me for me?
Why?
This question plagues me so
And it kills me to let you go.
And as I do I think
Why did I take my life for you?
He watched his body lay limp on the floor the blood dripped from wrist, his throat, and his eyes. His body once hung from the ceiling and as the body began to fight to live it slowly broke down, and as the belt that was his noose dropped his body his eyes blood shot red. He had been crying the hour before this attempt and like the others it too had failed. He was sick and tired of it. He refused to live another day, hour, minute, second. Reaching under his mattress he took his switch blade and cut just below his eyes. He cut it a few times so the blood would flow down his face as his tears once did. He looked into the mirror and looked over at her picture. With the blood he shed he smeared a heart in the corner of it. He reached the duct tape he kept in his room, and took a straight razor from out of a draw near the picture. With his switchblade he cut a hole in the belt the length of the razor put the razor in and taped it into place. He set up his stool and tied the belt back to the ceiling. The razor faintly pressed against his throat. He took his stand on the stool and made a few slits on his wrist deep enough to soak his hands in blood but not enough to kill himself. He whispered goodbye to his empty room, his empty house and tipped the chair back. This time the razor slit his throat and lodged itself there. His eyes rolled back into his head as the light of this world slowly faded. His body wanted to live, it yearned for it, but it slowly began shutting down until there was nothing but a single heart beat that stopped with a loud thump. Like the times before the belt gave way and his body fell to the ground. But this time there was no going back. The blood dripped from his eyes, his wrist, and his throat. No one could bring him back. And for a second he thought it was all a dream. Until he sighed and walked towards his limp body as he did, looking up at the mirror he couldn't see himself in the mirror. He really had done it this time there wasn't anyway to undo this. It was final, and he finally regretted it, he finally saw that she wasn't worth it.
