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Demetrius Marquette
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Modern Translation.

Let me put it another way: I preach out of sheer greed.
That’s why my motto is "Radix malorum est cupiditas."
Meaning 'the love of money is a root of all evil.'
I can preach all day about the same sin that I indulge in.
But even if I’m guilty of the sin of greed, that doesn’t mean I can’t help others not to be greedy.
I can help them repent and s**t, all the while being paid for it.
But who am I kidding? I’m not preaching to save their souls.
I preach only because I want to make money, and that is that.
Do you think that since I help cure the people of their greed by taking all their gold and silver that means I would ever live in poverty?
Hell no! I refuse to live like a simpleton.
I’m not trying to be an apostle who lives in holiness.
No, I want money, nice clothes, and expensive food,
Even if I receive it from the poorest workingman,
Or the poorest widow who can’t even feed her own starving children.
I want wine and a woman in every town.
But listen!
I’m going to tell you a story because,
Even though I’m an a*****e I can still tell you a moral tale.
So sit back, relax, and I’ll tell you my story.

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