View User's Journal

The Moment of Truth
March 4, 2017 - 00:27am, Saturday

Greetings! I'm back again from yet another 5-month break.
I used to wonder why I even keep writing journals in here, but I just realized that I could be writing these to keep as a memory of what I've been through as a young adult, and also for SOMEONE to read them when they're bored perhaps? xD but that isn't the major concern for today's journal entry.
This time, I'm going to post the journal I was talking about last time (check my previous entry if you are lost). This is obviously the right time. The moment of truth.

Enjoy! (And forgive me, it's lowkey cringeworthy but 100% sincere. Straight from mah hart.)

-------------------------------------------------

Life's First Big Surprise to Me.
August 22, 2016. 19:12 - Thursday.

Hello. I'm back with a brand new journal entry.
This time though, it's about someone who's very, very special to me. I'm a bit nervous about writing this journal entry because I am 101% positive this person is gonna read this, but something deep inside me is telling me that I am just doing the right thing.
I hope he reads it much later though.
So if you, dear reader, are the person I think you are, close the browser right away and go read something else. I won't be able to convince you, but please, don't read this journal entry yet. The right time will come, but that time isn't now. Definitely not. If you still want to read it though, then go ahead and read at your own risk. Just remember that I warned you. XD
If you, dear reader, are not the person I think you are, then go ahead and just keep reading.
Let me begin by narrating how all this started.
The kind of bond me and this person created is the kind one never expects it would grow into something so beautiful and precious and special. The way we started talking was totally unplanned, unforeseen, and up until now it amazes me so much that if I didn't reply to that one message (not even directed at me), we could have just gone our separate ways. I'm so thankful it didn't end up that way.
That single reply lead to a dozen more replies, until this person decided to bring our long conversations somewhere where we could talk a bit more comfortably without disturbing people. The dozen replies became a daily routine, for one week, precisely. Yep, years of being a Medtech student taught me to become a bit more precise.
Within that single week, I started becoming more interested about this person. Not romantically interested, mind you, but by the way our conversations went, I wanted to know more behind all the convos we had; more about this person's life. I started trusting this person with my whole being.
The time came when I decided to take a break to focus on my thesis, so I told this person that I would probably be away for a while. This person said this one line I won't ever forget. (Well, more unforgettable lines were said but this is one of those I remember so well.)

"I'll miss talking to you."

I was so shocked. I thought, "people actually miss me? People do realize I can be gone and might look for me?" So I came up with the idea of giving one of my personal accounts for us to still be able to talk to one another.
The just-a-dozen-replies became infinite chats, from the waking moments to the sleeping moments. Not a single day passed that we didn't talk to each other.
It's been a month and 9 days. We've been talking a bit less because of our different timezones, but we're still doing this routine until now.
Talking to this person feels incredibly good.
I forget all my problems when we talk. There's never a dull moment. I always laugh or smile too much.
This person has such a beautiful soul I don't know where to begin. This person totally changed me into a better, much happier person. This person doesn't see this beauty, but I see it all it's so overwhelming I sometimes think I don't deserve to be too close to someone like this person. I sometimes think I might be like poison to this flower, but all I want is to reciprocate all the happy feelings this person has been making me feel since day one.
Before going to sleep, I never forget to thank heavens that I've met this person.
This person has a very special place in my heart, and I have realized I never want to lose sight of this flower. I want to be beside this person's ups and downs, I want to see this person's smiles and I want to be the one to wipe tears and offer shoulders to cry on. I want to go on crazy adventures with this person. This person has been the kind of person I've been looking for since forever. This person knows me better than I know myself. This person understands me and has seen every ugly side of me, but never voiced out any single complaint. This person knows what to say to make me feel better. We share so many similarities, it's almost like we're sharing the same brain. I want to have this person beside me forever and reciprocate the happiness, but I'm not sure if this person thinks the same, and it's a bit scary. That's another reason why I was nervous about making this journal entry; this person might find out. And this person might feel creeped out by me and might decide to cut off any form of communication. Just thinking about it made me tear up. No joke.
I've grown so attached, and it's so scary but so beautiful at the same time I don't understand what good deed I did to be rewarded with such a beautiful soul to share smiles with.
I don't know where this is going, but the destination never really matter to me.
What always mattered to me are the steps we're taking together and the moments we're spending together in spite of the distance.
I love every bit of this person's being, every flaw this person hates. I don't deserve this person at all, but I'd do anything to see this person smile and hear this person laugh.
I love this person.
So much.
It's just been a month but I don't think I've ever been so sure.

Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

More Information