Just Friends
You might want more, but ultimately, you come to a point when you realize its never going to be anything more than just friends.
Maybe I wasnt blunt enough, or perhaps he just wasnt interested in the way that I thought he was.I had a thing, with this guy I met at a local Family Video store. He was smart, funny and extremely good-looking. I had applied for a job during the summer of 2012, which I ended up not getting. But what I received in return was better than any jobI became close friends with the store manager, Chris.
We talked about anything and everything. I shared a lot of my creative writing with him, and we liked to talk about movies. We had a very flirty friendship, and I felt that it couldve sprouted into a relationship had I stayed in Michigan, but I told him from the very beginning that it was my dream to make it to the west coastthough another hard lesson learned: I actually hate the west coast.
I made a few attempts to ask him out, all of which he declined or deflected. Maybe I wasnt blunt enough, or perhaps he just wasnt interested in the way that I thought he was. Long story short, we were just friends. Were not close anymore, but I will admit that I still have a soft spot for him.
Broken Promises: Friends With Benefits
I have this knack for being asked out by men in random places. I used to frequent a 7-Eleven every morning for a cup of coffee before work. I noticed a Budweiser delivery man who was the most handsome man I had ever seen at the time. One day, he asked me out on a date.
We were hot for each other to say the least. One thing that I noticed as our relationship progressed was: he had a lot of children with a lot of different women. Youd think I was exaggerating, but I kid you not (no pun intended), he had three kids already! He had one when he was a teenthough he enlisted in the Army and the girlfriend ran off with the baby [and another man!].
Then, he had another child with a different woman whom he shared custody with (and paid child support). A couple of months into our relationship, he found out that the woman he was seeing before methe one he told me he only slept with because she physically couldnt have children (oh, and might I add, she was separated)had a child and he was the father.
Before we even began dated, he disclosed to me his one son (whom he shared custody with), which I was fine with. He also assured me that there was no baby mama drama. Let me just say this: if you have to disclose this to someone, its a 99% chance there IS baby mama drama.
Priorities: Youre Not One of Them
I dated this guy named Erin (yes, spelled exactly like that). He was this goofy, extremely sarcastic civil engineer I had met through an online dating website. We started out slowand by slow, I mean, we didnt kiss until like the 10th date (which, mind you, theres absolutely nothing wrong with thatjust wanted to give you a frame of reference). We liked to talk A LOT.
After about four months together, and with the holidays coming up, it was apparent that he wasnt serious or ready to commit to me. Hed have these spurts of feeling overwhelmed, and not talk to me for weeks at a time. Wed hangout, and things would be fine, and then hed disappear again. He always had an excuse.
Finally, I was hopping on a plane to Michigan for Thanksgiving, and I said to myself, If I dont hear from him before I hop on this plane, Im done. Never heard from him, so I called it quits. However, he did contact me a few times after I started dating my [current] boyfriend and became fed up, so I was blunt with him in that he lost his opportunity because I was seeing someone else and had no interest in reconciling with him. He replied, Ive been so hesitant to delete your number, Lizz. Youre the coolest girl Ive ever met, and I know I messed up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uT3bo1go9Hk
Yes, you did. But you also set me free.
The One
I met my current boyfriend on an online dating website. At the time that we started talking, I was interested in someone else. However, I felt there was a genuine connection between us and I truly loved talking to him. Well, the other guy and I never worked out he ended up falling somewhere between just friends, and priorities.
Even though he does certain things that annoy me when he is around, I miss it.I deleted my profile because I was still talking to my [now] boyfriend and I liked him. He was someone I knew was real and wanted to truly get to know. I knew that if I kept going at the rate that I was going, Id end up hurting him and myself. Ultimately, I ended up ghosting him. A couple of weeks later, when I felt I had cleared my head enough, I joined the online dating website again. I stumbled upon my [now] boyfriends profile again, but I figured hed be angry at me for ghosting him. Finally, he messaged me with, Welcome back? I felt a huge sigh of relief. I apologized for ghosting him and that I would explain why if he gave me the chance. A couple of days later, we were on our first date.
Now, were celebrating our one-year. So how do I know hes the one? Im going to try and give you something you can make sense of rather than just saying, When you know, you know. First and foremost, he tells me and shows me in little ways every day that he loves me.
Secondly, hes very chivalrousyes, sounds clich and overrated, but its not. Chivalry goes a long way. Third, I miss him every second hes not around. Even though he does certain things that annoy me when he is around, I miss it. Fourth, our future is a daily topic. Theres always a discussion of what well do with our kids, our money, on our vacations I, you, and me suddenly become us, we, and our. Those are just a few of the ways I know hes the one.
Photo: Flickr/Neglected Mind
