So, I noticed Sarkeesian is involved with... "supervising" the production of Mirror's Edge (Kinda Sequel 2). First off, let me start by noting one thing, I initially went to GameFUQs to check this gaem out. Apparently, the Nu Gaem is labeled as Mirror's Edge, while the original is labeled as Mirror's Edge (200 cool . That's just grand. Are you telling me you're sticking with releasing it as the exact same name or that you're this confused on just plainly calling it Mirror's Edge 2, which is just the obvious thing to do? Someone mentioned it's a reboot, so let's go with, "Mirror's Edge: Anita Edition" or "Anita's Edge". <- Go with it, c** on, mang.
https://www.change.org/p/ea-games-remove-anita-sarkeesian-from-mirror-s-edge-2-game-development
I'll comment on one small thing involved in this idiotic campaign first: your use of the word "solidarity" makes me hurl. It's a shitty remake of an already shitty gaem. Stahp trying to implement your SJW terms into hijacking some pathetic fight For Great Justice. Good ******** day, m8.
Now, the original gaem. So, I first noticed Le 1-Hour Speedrun. This instantly meant 2 things:
1. No commentary. I'm tired of ******** Let's Plays saturating everything.
2. This has barely 2 hour's worth of gaemplay in a normal run, so it better entertain me.
This was placated by this thought; this is going to be like that bland-thing known as Journey where everyone faps over the atmosphere where there's next to zero gaemplay. I watched half of it, skipping around to various parts including the ending, and Ding-Ding, we have a winner! Nothing is good about this piece of s**t; Anita doesn't have the ability to destroy any part about this travesty. In fact, she just may make the gaem moar interesting, because her plot... I mean her "plot", just may be better than anything this gaem has to offer, which is 90% jumping around and doing next to nothing else... like Journey. Apparently, no glitches are used in this run, which makes it even less interesting to know that you can speedrun this boring thing in under 2 hours.
I will say this, the ending song, "Still Alive", has the ability to activate feelings of nostalgia. It's not a bad song, but it feels completely out-of-place compared to the s**t-storm I just watched. The narrative of the guy talking to her was typical, "Please shut your dirty whore mouth" like it always is. I also feel like I just watched an example vidya of the NYPD's and LAPD's accuracy training, cuz those po-po couldn't hit the broad side of a Hummer if they tried.
I mean, holy ******** s**t, who trained these occifers? Seriously, is she nigh immortal, too? She got hit like 5+ times in the first 5 minutes... miraculously, since the po-po can't hit s**t. No, really, I had to laugh at seeing all the bullets hit all the surfaces around her while she does nothing but run, by a helicopter with an equivalent of a machine gun, and they still couldn't hit her. The music otherwise is typical, bland action-movie-esque nonsense that feels like a dollar-store, mass production.
I read that Anita wanted to make the controls simpler to cater to females... AKA, dumb bitches like her who want to turn a casual's gaem into being more casual than it already is. I cannot fathom how much better Anita can make this gaem, because it doesn't have the ability to become worse. The story, especially the ending, was so shitty I couldn't tolerate it. The voice of Mr. Holds Gun To Person's Head was so badly voiced and laid out that I can't even begin to describe the nauseating feeling of having to listen to that twice.
If anything, her advice might make the gaem even moar lulzy, even moar fantastic, even moar misuhginystic with a hint of mizandry. It may be Le World's Best Script. It may be even better than Metroid: Other M's script. It just might, no, it will be.
You know why; cuz vidya gaemz do not have gud scripts in the ******** first place. Vidya gaemz constantly pander to peeps with the weakest mentalities, and Anita can't make it worse. She literally cannot make a gaem with a GameFUQ's average of 8/10, which is being generous, any worse than it already is.
You know, I've rarely said gaemz I haven't played are shitty, but in this instance, like with Journey, I feel the need to make an exception. ******** Mirror's Edge, ******** Anita, and ******** anyone who thinks this stupid s**t could possibly become worse. In fact, it may be one of those gaemz that's so bad it's the best thing you've ever played. I won't be playing it, cuz I know it'll be yet another over-graphical piece of s**t that won't play on this, like Dark Souls and Street Fighter X Mega Man, but please, spare me the complaints that she'll make this garbage any worse.
The first-person-view of this thing, if it's mandatory which it seems like it is, is disorienting and annoying. The fights are typical and bland, when any actually happen, which looks like you're forced to do... 3, when you're not... running around like an idiot. I noticed a fight was just a bland quick-time-esque event which was complete yawn.
There was a digital poster on the wall in-gaem that sparked an entertaining glance:
1. "5 Signs Your Friend Might Be A Runner."
2. "The Newest Threat To Your Kids: Runners."
A little police-state humor goes a long way... against running. Remember kids, don't run. Actually, that's barely funny. Your humor even sucks.
Plz Anita, fix this gaem.
View User's Journal
All is what is.
 |
