Know what's crazy? That this person I barely remember can mean so much to me. All I really know is that he was there from when I was little, then one day, he disappeared. And though I didn't even know him that well, he was the one guy that will always be with me. Doesn't matter what I do or where I go, he'll be there until I die.
Its unfathomable and I don't understand why I can cry for someone that is only a shadow in my life. All the stories and memories can only mean so much, but they count for everything I've missed and it's half the reason why I can deal with life.
People don't understand what it's like, I guess, to grow up with my kind of childhood. To a degree, it's scarring. There's so many reasons why I get so angry when I see things parents go without so their kids can have even a miniscule chance at a good childhood, when there's so much that neither my Mother or I had.
There's an ultimate price for everything we do and it's unfortunate when it happens. I think you just have to hold on to these strange pieces of life and hope to be strong about it. Life goes on with or without us and it's something I've learned the hard way.
With years I can't count on my fingers, and too many days, I miss him and hope he's resting in peace.
xx
Kairi.
"I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind the rain,
Simple things and subtleties, They always stay the same.
I don't mind, I don't mind, I don't mind the rain,
Like a widow's heart, We fall apart,
But never fade away."
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Kairi-Mushi Community Member 
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