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my story book
what rock bottom truly is for anyone who has ever wondered
im shattered but yet not repairable
im hungry, yet no amount of food can truly fill my void
im torn, and no amount of stiches can seal me
i have a home yet it is not a home because i have no true grasp on it
everything i own is but a figment of my own imagination because it can be taken in the blink of an eye.
my reality is a fatality because i have tried to take it from myself but failed at every corner i have turned.
forced to basically live this life the way others want it lived
i escaped barely from my mental imprisionment only to find myself once again alone in this world with only one thing keeping me sane and yet that same force pushing me back into my dark source of pain.
years of my life i decicated, just to now watch as all these old memories have faded to black and are now seemingly non existant yet they still seem so real in my mind because those very memories led me to find the very empty shell that defines my very being today.
the enlighten ones ask if i still am jaded if i can ever be re made and reconformed into something more productive and less short lived then i have asked of myself in recent times.
even though my mouth says yes, my heart and mind both agree to a certain degree that my hope and faith is lost in this world and will never be found even if forced im on a course to a very bittersweet ending.
all the love and the care was very much too late shared and the only love i have truly known and that i gave up after being mislead like the very sheep i have become moved by the wolf that wanted to seek my very soul to fuel their hunger.
i have tried, but the only thing that is truly set inside is the fact that these tears are a composition of all the pain i have endured through the years and no other soul could ever understand the hand that i was held with even in my brightest of nights that ended in spite.
tonight i still defy the odds but inside im dead and hurt and i wish that it would be gone but the pain has become a permanet part of my being and i will never be able to shake this feeling even if i am forced by these little things that are ment to steer my very mind in the right state of itself.





 
 
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