Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

God ******** damn it
******** s**t
UGH
I'm an angry individual.
Something wonderful happened today and I ******** ruined it.
******** piece of s**t
UGH!
I had strawberries stacked perfectly aligned.
On a lighter note, I found something to keep me going for the next while.
A rivalry if you will.
A challenge of sorts.
Of course it's just me who sees it this way.
Something interesting for the time being.
Something that just maybe will give me a new reason.
A reason when all the others are losing their strengths.
When humanity is becoming dull.
Of course this is my fault.
It always is.
All of this I guess what would be called emotional baggage.
Of course I guess that's kind of a lie.
I don't really feel anything lately.
Except for today.
It was special.
Christine was actually interesting today.
I guess I'm speaking as if she wasn't here.
She sitting on my floor listening to my music.
What she did was out of the blue tell me she's dating someone.
It shocked me so much because she's always been crazy about me.
It could be a ploy.
Regardless it does make me want her more.
Wanting what I can't have.
Being able to say I own something that wasn't meant for me.
Of course maybe if she keeps this up I wouldn't think of her as a possession.
Being submissive though she might just want me to think this way.
She probably is the best person for someone like me.
There are major problems though.
She constantly talks about her feelings.
I can't do it not with her.
She's always wanting to introduce me to her best friends.
They both are majoring in psychology.
As interesting as a conversation would be it would lead to them studying me.
I'm not used to feeling what I probably give off.
Well that's if someone is keen enough to pick up on it.
Like she is, only she seems to like it.
At least with her telling me things I know what to fake.
It is less confusing.
However our relationship seems to be changing.
For the better I guess.
Now I have something to do.
She's saying her boyfriend is a steroid user.
Conflict is brewing.
I haven't been in a good fight in a while.
Maybe he'll break something of mine.
I haven't been this giddy in a long time.
A good s**t kicking is just what I need.
Of course winning the fight would just be boring.
It's always so boring.
I need some sort of lasting pain.
Something to help me remember.
This is assuming he suffers from 'roid rage.
Knowing her he probably does.
He may have marked what was mine.
She's asking why I'm laughing.
I lied and told her it was something on Tumblr.
I may be speaking too soon, but things are changing.