People talked and hugged me.. because of my loss. The thing is.. Some admitted that they didnt know how it felt. I wouldnt wish this sadness on another person. I miss you so much. Some people dont know how lucky they are... They complain about their mothers.. make fun of their mothers.. neglect and take their moms for granted. To be honest mom... I know I did that to you.. but I still loved you.. I loved you so much and still do. This mourning isnt something anyone should feel.. But to know that I loved you so much... god I wish you knew how much I loved you.. and I miss you so much. oohgosh.. I miss you. This still feels like a dream. A very bad one I cant seem to wake up from. I cant wake up.. Mom.. I thought of visiting you today.. Like you werent gone at all. I was talking to a friend and told him.. Imma visit my mom on monday, paused, closed my eyes and remembered that you werent here anymore. I numbed myself for so long.. But.. the more I finally start to tell myself that you arent here.. The more Im breaking.. and it hurts so much. I feel so lonely... I'm trying so hard to be strong, but I cant.. I cant pretend everything is ok anymore. I keep pushing the thoughts and memories of you laying... veiled and beautiful.. not breathing.. ohgod... oh god. I miss you... Just know that please..
Save a space for me up there. I'll see you later.
ll trouble ll
· Sat Oct 26, 2013 @ 06:22am · 1 Comments