I dreamt of my mom last night. She was with my brother Dookery and looked so tired. I followed and watched her lean back in the blue lazyboy in my dream.. Then knelt by her side looking up to her. She closed her eyes and whispered.. "I'm tired.."
I woke up and looked around, reality or a dream; at the time I wasn't sure. Soon realization set in as closed my eyes and burst into tears as I fell back to sleep. I woke up moments later.
Sat in my bed for a while and looked out my window to the sky as the horizon began to lighten up.. then knew what I needed to do. I threw on my running gear. Pulled my hair into a high ponytail. Shoved my feet into my shoes and grabbed my mp3 as well as the herb I would need to greet my father. Walked outside smiled at the cool air washing over my body. Looked up to the sky and started running. Didn't stop until the sun was up. Was then that I knelt to the ground and started crying again...
Greeted the day and said hello to my father then asked that he'd say hello to my mom.
To tell her that I'll be dancing once more because she always loved watching me.
My health was faltering because of my time at work and the fact that I hadn't danced much..
I was getting sick all the time and I pretended that it was work that was getting me sick..
when it wasn't.
I haven't danced in a year..
and running felt like I was home.
Practiced dancing when I got home and restarted my training in TKD and Taichi. Almost forgot who I was..
but in my mind..
when I woke up..
I felt as if my mom was telling me.. "GET UP! Go running. Dont be lazy.. Don't waste the SUN!"
She knew I loved running but not as much as I love dancing.
Working on my outfit for the upcoming pow wows.
Gonna make my dad and mom proud.
I know they loved watching me dance.
I'm gonna make myself proud...
Mom.. I knew you were tired.. Im sorry I didn't visit as much.. but work.. why did I put work before all I love..
I love you mom...
· Sun Oct 13, 2013 @ 05:31pm · 0 Comments