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Insomnia is a kind of torture, because while the rest of the world is fast asleep you're up all alone. Your Mind buzzing with every random thought in the universe. Sometimes the thoughts will reach a standstill and your mind will go blank. You become more aware of the silence, and during this moment you realize how alone you truly are. I need to get more friends with insomnia sweatdrop I think Nine Inch Nails have good songs to listen to when I can't sleep, Everyday is Exactly the Same, and Closer. There are probably more I just haven't been looking. Along with that I have my death metal, or I could write my own songs even though I know they suck. Though some of my friends liked my pokemon song. The only reason I even typed this up was so I could feel less alone for awhile. To pretend like someone is going to read this as I type it, like I'll get a response. That moment when you’ve taken all your sleeping/night meds, and realize you totally forgot to do your Humira shot yesterday… and don’t want to get up in fear of hallucinating and not actually making it to the fridge… xD.......unless you guys don't know what that feels like. I like to watch Fight Club some nights when I can't sleep. Makes me feel cool about being shaky, disoriented, stressed, and all kinds of other nasty side effects. I’m sick of witnessing the sunrise too often. Because everynight I’m always up thinking and replaying the events of my life in my head over and over again and if it’s not events my thoughts focus on certain people currently in my life or individuals that have left. Its said those that don't sleep confuse reality with dreams for the most part I can say that's true. I'm able to shut things off pretty quickly I have a hard time believing things. I don't know if its that or I'm just good at controlling my own emotions regardless the indifference is staggering. They also say that if you can't sleep its because people are dreaming of you. I must be in a lot of dreams then I guess. Every try and typing something slow and spell it wrong but then you type fast and get it right? I did that when I typed believing.....I don't think anyone is reading this or going to. The loneliness is almost kinda unbearable....especially since I don't see my love everyday now. I wear makeup to hide my dark circles. I should just show it off one day for fun cause I guess........... I don't know bye. To all the other insomniacs say good morning sun! smile
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