Holy ********, this handwriting is beautiful. It’s perfectly legible and it doesn’t try too hard to be fancy like putting hearts in place of the dot in the lower case form of the letter “I”. I wish I knew who wrote this bullshit. His handwriting is so amazing he deserves several dozen Asian sex slaves and a seat in Valhalla. Oh, wait, I forgot. It was me. Man, I am so awesome.
I also wrote the exact same bullshit in cursive, just to further drive home how awesome my handwriting is and how ******** stupid cursive is:
Seriously, what the hell is up with cursive? Why are people still writing in this ugly, useless, scribbled mess of a writing style? It doesn’t make you look any smarter or more sophisticated than you already are. Someone seriously told me that she uses cursive because she thinks it makes her look smart and creative. Who cares? It’s all about communication and the quality of information you give. If you have shitty information, it doesn’t matter how fancy your writing looks; shitty information is shitty information. Cut the fancy bullshit and write in print already. It’s the same as assholes who devote their time into putting in fancy backgrounds, fonts, sound effects, and transition effects in PowerPoint Presentations instead of writing something that gets their point across. Nobody gives a s**t about your fading text and whooshing transitions if the information you’re trying to give sucks.
I’m getting completely sick of morons who have bad handwriting. Most people think it doesn’t matter and everybody’s just unique. ******** you. It does matter. Think about it. Whenever you sign into a funeral or fill out an application, do you think no one is actually going to read it? Bullshit, of course they read it. And then they get irritated at how abysmal your handwriting is and they can’t figure out what your name is so they can’t enter you into a recipient list for emails, flyers, and such to make sure whether or not you want to be part of the program, so their boss gets pissed at them and they risk losing a job, further increasing the unemployment rate and ensuring this country will lose superpower status to commies living in the eastern part of the Asian continent who breed too ******** much. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating just a little bit, but the point is LEARN TO WRITE BETTER. Because by learning to write better, you will be better at getting your point across and you will alleviate some office workers’ blood pressure when he’s given an assignment entering names and he can actually read your handwriting.
I’ve scoured Google images looking for some examples of handwriting and I shall take the liberty to rate them on a scale from 1 to 5:
5 (Me)
4 (You)
3 (You, again)
2 (Yep, still you)
1 (You, children, and people with dyslexia)
4 (You)
3 (You, again)
2 (Yep, still you)
1 (You, children, and people with dyslexia)
I will be rating the bits of handwriting based on legibility and overall practicality. Let’s begin:
1/5
What is it with physicians and bad handwriting? What does that say about the healthcare system? Anox or Amox? Sifi tale 2-3…what? Also, what is that number? 280 or 260? Or is it 2Jo? Is that even a number? For that matter, is it “mg” as in the metric expression of 1/1000th of a gram or “my” as in “my handwriting sucks?”
2/5
Dear Jen,
Can I just say how much I dislike your writing? I mean, sure, most of it was pretty legible except for the last half of the last sentence, which is why I give you a 4 for legibility, but you also wrote in cursive, which I hate, so I give a 0 in practicality. Next time print, fancy pants.
XXOO
Carcharodin
1/5
Oh my God, what the ******** is this? I can’t even read the first line. This is so bad that I can’t even tell whether or not he misspelled a few words. Next.
1/5
I was able to read it for the most part, but it still looks pretty shitty; especially that letter at the end. What the hell is that, anyway? It looks like an “e” except backwards. I scoured the English alphabet numerous times, but alas, I found no backwards “e.” I guess it could also be a "9" but 9 is a number, not a letter, so writing "Lemonad9" doesn't make any sense. Also, that is not the proper way to write the symbol for cents. Plus, you’re children. Not only that, you can’t sell lemonade without a business contract, so you’re also breaking the law to boot. Nice way to start off your lives, criminals.
1/5
Filling out forms like this is guaranteed to get you nowhere in life.
3/5
Pretty mediocre. Which means you might be a shoe-in for cashier. The stupid stars do nothing to help this case, either.
4/5
What, you thought I was going to give everything a bad score? Please.
4/5
His grammar could use some work, but at least I could read the words. I was originally going to give him only a 3, but then I read the “Park on my privates again?” part plus the last sentence and I laughed.
2/5
Too bad, Dan. Although I must say, not giving a ******** is a very good way to go about things.
That should be about it. Of course, there’s plenty of bad handwriting out there, but it would take eons for me to rate them all. So in conclusion, I’d like to say several things:
1. Please write more legibly. It really makes office workers and record department workers a lot happier.
2. If you insist on writing in cursive, please make sure your printing is legible first.
3. Sepultura still rules. At least when Max Cavalera was in the band.
That should be it. Write better or kill yourself. I don’t care which.
