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Suicide...

It's everywhere. Wendi, my "older brother", my mother, hell even I am considering it...
and it's so scary. I mean I can't because I like to think at least one of you would miss me but maybe they will...

I am not strong enough to handle anymore of my friends killing themselves. I can hardly handle some of them cutting/burning/drinking themselves into comas whenever they are sad. I cannot handle any of them killing themselves.

It's a scary thing to think about. Waking up to the news that I'll never see their faces again... I can't handle it. I won't handle it. I won't let it happen...

And if it does...
Well, Amber won't hear about me talking s**t anymore.

I'm trying to make myself laugh it off, I can't though. I feel like I'm in battle alone.

I just want to make it out of here alive. But I won't it seems. I mean August 28th 2012 is a long way away. An incredibly long way away.

Maybe... I'm not strong enough to make it.