i love how gaia pays us gp to post our misery on the internet.....
You know your day is going to suck when ansolutely nothing goes wrong. As ridiculous as that sounds, going without even a small mishap appears to be a bad omen for me. I enjoyed my entire school day. how the hell often does *that* happen? I enjoyed myself so much, i didn't even notice that nothing bad happened. i got a 99 on a history quiz (that just so happened to count as *two* quiz grades), received generous food donations from my friends when i realized i forgot my lunch money, and it turned out that there wasn't any math homework assigned yesterday. I even got through gym class without being yelled at by someone! I was blinded by my onslaught of good fortune. then i went to anime club. the teacher wasn't there. the sign on her door said to wait until she got off buc duty. i saw my ex and seto kaiba's sex slave walking down the hallway toward me. holding hands.
stop!
freeze frame!
what the ********?
there are way too many things wrong with this situation.
1. my ex....is happy? WHAT IS IT ABOUT *ME* THAT DOESN'T MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY? WHY MUST THEY ALWAYS BE HAPPY WITH PEOPLE AFTER ME?? not fair.
2. my ex is dating skss. why? they are absurdly wrong for each other. he is the most paranoid person on the planet...and she's out to get everyone (which is actually true). one or the other pissed off cupid. or maybe it was me? since i'm upset about this?
3. i'm actually upset about this! this is an incredible problem!
why, you ask? for one thing, i'm already in a relationship. for another, why the hell should i care what my ex does? it's not like i'm not over her...>.> for one more, why the hell do i care what skss does with himself? what the hell is THIS charming new development?
4. it appears that i am jealous. of my ex. for dating a guy. i didn't even know i had a crush on. until now.
********.
********.
********!!!!
8.which means i won't be able to hug him anymore. i hug him all the time. he gives good hugs, and he smells good.
9. ********. (it seemed worth repeating)
10.which all reminds me of my relationship. the one i don't want to be in. i suddenly feel like if i had grown a pair and broken up like i wanted to do and should do, i might've even had a chance to discover that i apparently like him. *before* my ex sank her claws in. I resent the lack of courage in myself, and note dryly how ironic it is that all of my indecision has hurt me more than my partner, which is what i was afraid of doing in the first place.
and now, ladies and gentlemen of the internet, i bid you adieu. i am off to bang my head into a wall repeatedly.
I know that no one out there is going to bother reading this, and that nobody gives a crap, but this is where i actually need advice. I'm drowing in a puddle of my own emotion, and someone needs to throw me a life vest before i sink. i can't swim out of this on my own.
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The Epic Fails and Wins of Naruhinaxox
you know that cliched quote about life being a roller coaster? a glimpse at my ups and downs.
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(I knew you liked him! ^_^)