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I use music
to convey how i'm feeling
when i'm upset.. i drown myself in music
sink into my quiet nature
let the notes, the rythems envelope me
after the talk we just had the first thing i did was turn on my laptop and immediatly
drown myself in music
and as i am typing this
i am listening to music
to reflect
and to make myself feel better
because a world of silence is utterly boring
the silence is something i dont need
i need a rhythm with things
i need a way to express how i feel without saying it

this hurts
i know you said dont feel guilty but
i do
i know its not my fault that what happened in the past is done
but i hate to see it
i hate to see this film of wat happen
cover your body and mold you into who you are today
i wish with all my heart my wind coud blow that film away and you wont be afraid
i wish that i could magically make things better
but
i can't
i know that
you know that
it hurts
it ******** hurts
i hate to see you shrink away
i hate to see you feel weak

but
i love to be your hachiko
to let you feel powered over soemone
its a sadistic pleasure
but a pleasure none the less correct?



i wish i could have stopped in in the past and you wouldnt be afriad to hug
to kiss
to hold hands
to be with me over and over
but all i can d now is try
little by little
to ease the pain
to make it go away
because
your are my bond
that has been , and will continue to be forged by your hate filled past
and my purity
i have never experienced anything close to what you have
but i promise to you
from haciko to poochie
i will be there


and if you choose to believe this or not
i mean this
with all my heart
i don't want you to ever suffer again
i want you to get better
and to become someone who isnt afraid

(i know there are spelling errors but if i go back and look at them it'll ruin it)