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Yeah. That time when you're all alone. Sometimes I like it. Being able to do what I want without having someone bother me. Then there's those times where I wish I wasn't alone. At the moment I can't really say that I have other people in RL that I can go hang out with. The people I know in RL either have left me in the dust of their memories or have moved away. And although it would be easy to find someone to talk to here, I've learned the hard way that bonds made here are very brittle. Anything can drive a wedge into a friendship made online. People might not believe that you're who you say you are. It's easy to make judgments here. Too easy. So I'm not exactly social here anymore. My computer's partly to blame for that too (stupid malware). The worst part about solitude is when your parents begin to pity you. It makes you feel like a charity case. I'll use myself for example. This weekend my sis and bro had places to go, but as usual I was going nowhere. The pity began when my mom decided to take me with her to shop. Normally I'm not the kind of guy who thinks about himself, but my mom forced me to while I was with her. It felt strange. I really didn't like being selfish.

Right now I'm having a hard time deciding when I want to be alone and when I want to be with somebody. I like being around people, but at the same time, I don't. I don't really know why. Maybe it's because I don't know how to approach them anymore. I can't really relate to anyone. All I can do is say how much I understand. Most people haven't had the kind of troubles I've gone through. They've had much happier lives, exciting lives. I get tired of saying "I know what that's like" only because I understand what they've experienced. I'd like to be able to say "I can relate". But for now I can't, and who knows when I can.