So, I finally beat Persona 2: Eternal Punishment. I was satisfied with the ending, though I wasn't really ready to try to go through Ellen's path to open up the EX Dungeon. Eventually, I want to, but for now... I'm actually a bit Persona'ed out. That sounds like blasphemy, I'm sure. Actually, I started playing Digital Devil Saga again, and I'm about to beat it. So, I might play through the second one, even though it was a gift from an ex. I found myself liking Heat, though I don't know why. It's not that he's really "anime crush" material, just... I don't know. There's something about his cocky, heartless jerk ways that I find interesting--that and he's such an awesome fighter. I'm going to wait until DDS2 to make a real decision on the characters, since I have the feeling I might end up hating Heat by the end of it. I also like Argilla a lot. She's so pretty, and her personality is amiable once she starts showing emotion. She's a kick-a** spell caster... Plus, I'm a sucker for possible femme-slash. Sorry, but the thing with Jinana was just so tragic, I found it enjoyable. Anyway, in addition to playing DDS, a friend is trying to change my opinion on FFX. I don't actually see what I'm supposed to like better than DDS about it. Tidus, Yuna, and Rikku all annoy me. You are forced to level Yuna; no matter how you look at it, Yuna has to be at a decent level or later battles cannot be won. I mean, this isn't my first encounter with FFX, nor was it my second. This is the THIRD time I'm trying to get into it--why can't my friends just accept that I like cyber punk and urban fantasy? Then, there was the god-awful sequel. Yeah, you can preach girl power or "Barbie element" all you want, but it was neither to me. It was a way for Square to make a quick buck between FFX and XI with lots of eye candy for people who liked those kinds of girls. They didn't even include my favorite girl, and the two most annoying female characters are the main characters. Tell me again, why am I supposed to think this is good?
Enough about gaming, for now. -sigh- I'm having personal problems. I'm having personal problems and really have no one to whom I can speak. So, I'll just ramble here, where no one has to even pretend to give a damn. Honestly, I'm starting to get annoyed with couples. I'm really starting to get annoyed with new couples. God damn it. My online friend set up my good friend and my brother. I can tolerate them both seperately, but not together. I swear... I'm getting caught in the middle of things I want nothing to do with. I just want to scream at them both to grow a back bone and to talk to each other about their problems. I want to yell at them to be glad they have anyone at all. They also both know I've been in a big depression since January (the really painfully long break up where the drama went on until March), so flaunting their seemingly strictly physical relationship in my face is not helping in any way! God damn! He's so clingy and paranoid. We had to leave a party with friends early because of that. So, I spent most of the night getting more and more pissed off with them until I finally blew up at my brother. He knew what he was doing wrong; both of them did.
... I used to think I could handle being alone. A girl I met at an anime convention actually gave me the confidence to handle being alone. I felt satisfied after meeting her. My brother says I'm crazy because now I say I miss her. I miss her because my last relationship drained what confidence I had. It hurt, and now I'm getting salt poured into my wounds. If I still had the necklace or the name tag from that convention... something more than my prop, I'm sure I could get my confidence back. That probably sounds wierd, and I'm sorry. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of music that would normally cheer me up, but it didn't seem to work while my brother was in town. I'm just sitting in my corner, listening to "A Solitude that Asks Nothing in Return." Hm... maybe I need a rival or something. It's not exactly the relationship most people would recommend, but I'm not like a lot of people. I just need something to fill the void. Or else... I'm going to end up growing more bitter, and I'll have the whole "Love is an illusion" attitude for the rest of my life.
-sigh- Geez, I went emo there for a moment. I'm sorry.
jun_kurosu Community Member 
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