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forum:15, topic:4803263
BlueDragonX
A storyline that's pretty vague right now and not complete.

It starts off a small island called Orris. For the past weeks, Lenzo "Len" Cyer has been having a recurring dream of a mysterious girl trapped in a giant sphere with ring like objects circling it. One day, soldiers from the mainland's empire, being led by General Valex has raided the island, looking for something. They kidnap Lenzo's older sister and take her to a cave that is forbidden to enter, even to the islanders. Lenzo follows them and as he enters to the deepest regions of the cave, he discovers a hidden room that is both high-tech and ancient at the same time. To his surprise he finds the mysterious girl trapped in a sphere like in his dream. He is discovered and in the confusion frees the girl. Something happens and Lenzo's sister is killed by Valex. Wanting revenge against Valex, Lenzo forms a contract with the mysterious girl who calls herself Nova.

I plan to have that Valex and Nova have some sort of connection with each other and there exists another world that can be seen in plain sight called the "Higher World." It is actually the moon.


What exactly do you mean by "forms a contract?" Like a contract with the devil? Like a contract from the D&D Warlocks? Or like "I'll build you a shed for $100?"

Overall this beginning is interesting. The sister being kidnapped and then killed seems more like a clichéd cop-out though. Is there any other reason that would make him enter the cave? Any other sort of actions Valex might do to incite the people in some way? Just curious.
 
     
 
Like I said, it's pretty vague right now. Well, besides following them, maybe he hears a faint voice coming from within the cave? Well, it's not really a "contract" per se. Nova is actually a type of droid from the Higher World who uses her "magic" to electronically "rewrite\" Lenzo's brain so that he knows how to fight. But of course he won't be a master warrior or anything. How Nova ended up in a cave of the Lower World is a mystery.
     
I think that if you tied Nova's story to Len's, it would be very interesting. Also, the contract should have a lot of elements to it, rather than teaching him how to fight, maybe even a doujble-edged sword. I'd find that super entertaining. :'D

Btw, I have a friend named Nova. Haha!

As well as going into that cave, if it's so forbidden, he must have a very hard time getting in. It sounds too easy for him to just follow.
 
     


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