Can I be hospitalized/arrested for writing this?

[basselope7]

I've had a story idea in my head for a while, based on a dream I had once, that I've been sitting on until the opportunity comes when I can write it down and enter it in a horror story contest one Halloween. The story involves the main character placed under the care of an abusive stepfather, and one day when they are out in public a disagreement between them escalates into an altercation where he beats her. What's scary about it, and I mean psychologically scarring, is that the stepfather grabs two babies (yes, living babies) from an unattended shopping cart and uses their bodies as weapons to beat her, in the process instantly killing the babies. The experience mentally corrupts the girl, draining her of all respect for the human race, and she makes a break for it and runs as far as she can until she goes and hides in a cave for the rest of her life. There she coexists with rats, and wins their respect, becoming their master (these are not funny animals, these are actual rats), and she subsists by slaughtering and eating bats and worms. Ten years later a group of spelunkers finds her living in the cave, figure out she is the missing girl, and inform her that the stepfather was incarcerated years ago and died in prison, and she is free to go home now, but alas, spending all that time away from the human race has proved a poor coping mechanism for her disillusionment, and she still does not trust them. So she orders the rats to swarm them and eat them alive down to the bones, and turns their skeletons into toys and musical instruments to keep her from being bored.

Will this story get me in trouble with, say, the dean at a college? Could it get me involuntarily committed? Could even posting this topic get me hospitalized? ._.

[Sabik Adara]

As someone who isn't personally bothered by this... I think you should write whatever you want. I've seen worse; especially considering it's based off a dream as mine are equally disturbing and, yet, inspirational. But as for someone else who's easily... offended or sickened... perhaps it would be best to hold off. At least from showing them or letting them read it. I mean, the part with the babies will definitely get the most negative reaction - it's almost guaranteed. The rest seems fine.

I would say that your concern over someone like "the dean at a college" is rationalized... you probably shouldn't have open ties showcasing your work if you're that concerned about it. I'm not saying you would get institutionalized for writing this, but some people may... recommended going to a psychiatrist. Then again, I was sent to a psychiatrist for being anti-social so I think it's completely ridiculous. But, if so; then as long as he/she/they deem you mentally fit and not secretly harbouring (un)conscious desire to act out what you've written or that you condone these actions in any way...

I guess it all depends on where or how you're posting your story.
Is it just for you - written in a notebook or computer?; do you plan on submitting it to a writer's website for others to read?; do you plan on actually getting it published?; and so on.
I would say that, perhaps, just for now, you should just keep it to yourself until you know what kind of reception it will get.

[Xiam]

Not sure why writing something would get you institutionalized.

I've come up with plenty of ******** up s**t. I mean, yeah, I'd worry people would think there's something wrong with me if I actually used it, but... then again, I know some sick individuals who would probably love it, haha.

[Brodie Asturias]

The only slightly dodgy bit would be the beating with babies piece. That might upset some people, but I doubt it would get you put in hospital. I would personally find that somewhat distasteful to read, but to each their own. If you're really worried, substitute the babies for a baseball bat he grabbed off the shelf.

Less squirm effect for the reader, but you're also less likely to offend, I guess, since that's what you seem to be worried about. Or you could have him grab a couple of hard plastic dolls off the shelf and beat her bloody with them. No killing babies, but it would still be damn creepy, especially if they were the sort of irritating dolls that talked, and as he beat her up their voices got all warped and weird.

As for the rest... well, there are plenty of horror movies and stories out there that sound vaguely similar, especially the whole "monster in the cave" thing. I'm pretty sure there's one movie about a group of feminist spelunkers who go caving and encounter a humanoid creature of some sort that kills them off. Forgotten what it's called though. It's based on a book by the same name that is completely different. Not exactly the same, but there's also creepypasta floating around of some sort of horror in a cave. It was called Ted's Caving Page. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about the cave section. It sounds perfectly justified.

[basselope7]

Brodie Asturias

The only slightly dodgy bit would be the beating with babies piece. That might upset some people, but I doubt it would get you put in hospital. I would personally find that somewhat distasteful to read, but to each their own. If you're really worried, substitute the babies for a baseball bat he grabbed off the shelf.

Less squirm effect for the reader, but you're also less likely to offend, I guess, since that's what you seem to be worried about. Or you could have him grab a could of dolls of the shelf and beat her bloody with them. No killing babies, but it would still be damn creepy, especially if they were the sort of irritating dolls that talked, and as he beat her up their voices got all warped and weird.

As for the rest... well, there are plenty of horror movies and stories out there that sound vaguely similar, especially the whole "monster in the cave" thing. I'm pretty sure there's one movie about a group of feminist spelunkers who go caving and encounter a humanoid creature of some sort that kills them off. Forgotten what it's called though. It's based on a book by the same name that is completely different. Not exactly the same, but there's also creepypasta floating around of some sort of horror in a cave. It was called Ted's Caving Page. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about the cave section. It sounds perfectly justified.

Everything up to the part where she runs away was pretty much exactly as it was in the dream. I only came up with the ending after I woke up, well a few days after it actually.

[Brodie Asturias]

basselope7

Brodie Asturias

The only slightly dodgy bit would be the beating with babies piece. That might upset some people, but I doubt it would get you put in hospital. I would personally find that somewhat distasteful to read, but to each their own. If you're really worried, substitute the babies for a baseball bat he grabbed off the shelf.

Less squirm effect for the reader, but you're also less likely to offend, I guess, since that's what you seem to be worried about. Or you could have him grab a could of dolls of the shelf and beat her bloody with them. No killing babies, but it would still be damn creepy, especially if they were the sort of irritating dolls that talked, and as he beat her up their voices got all warped and weird.

As for the rest... well, there are plenty of horror movies and stories out there that sound vaguely similar, especially the whole "monster in the cave" thing. I'm pretty sure there's one movie about a group of feminist spelunkers who go caving and encounter a humanoid creature of some sort that kills them off. Forgotten what it's called though. It's based on a book by the same name that is completely different. Not exactly the same, but there's also creepypasta floating around of some sort of horror in a cave. It was called Ted's Caving Page. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about the cave section. It sounds perfectly justified.

Everything up to the part where she runs away was pretty much exactly as it was in the dream. I only came up with the ending after I woke up, well a few days after it actually.

All I'm really saying is that I probably wouldn't read past the beating with babies bit because that would squick me, personally. But the truth is, I would actually be very interested to read about her living in the caves and reacting that way to the cavers.

Anyway, it's up to you to do what you please. It's your story.

[basselope7]

Brodie Asturias

basselope7

Brodie Asturias

The only slightly dodgy bit would be the beating with babies piece. That might upset some people, but I doubt it would get you put in hospital. I would personally find that somewhat distasteful to read, but to each their own. If you're really worried, substitute the babies for a baseball bat he grabbed off the shelf.

Less squirm effect for the reader, but you're also less likely to offend, I guess, since that's what you seem to be worried about. Or you could have him grab a could of dolls of the shelf and beat her bloody with them. No killing babies, but it would still be damn creepy, especially if they were the sort of irritating dolls that talked, and as he beat her up their voices got all warped and weird.

As for the rest... well, there are plenty of horror movies and stories out there that sound vaguely similar, especially the whole "monster in the cave" thing. I'm pretty sure there's one movie about a group of feminist spelunkers who go caving and encounter a humanoid creature of some sort that kills them off. Forgotten what it's called though. It's based on a book by the same name that is completely different. Not exactly the same, but there's also creepypasta floating around of some sort of horror in a cave. It was called Ted's Caving Page. Anyway, I wouldn't worry about the cave section. It sounds perfectly justified.

Everything up to the part where she runs away was pretty much exactly as it was in the dream. I only came up with the ending after I woke up, well a few days after it actually.

All I'm really saying is that I probably wouldn't read past the beating with babies bit because that would squick me, personally. But the truth is, I would actually be very interested to read about her living in the caves and reacting that way to the cavers.

Anyway, it's up to you to do what you please. It's your story.

Eh, I already have a novel series that I'm planning to publish; if I ever write this story or any other ideas I have in my head, it'll probably be used for an anthology of works unrelated to my novel series that would be released for a promotion or something. I plan on basing my entire career on the series, but I do have other ideas for stories, poems, etc. that I would like people to see, so I was thinking I would one day publish an anthology that collects these ideas and reprints old stories/essays that I wrote for college classes, just as a sampler of miscellaneous ideas that float around my head that may or may not have anything in common with the stories I already write.

I originally was thinking of writing the story I described in the OP for a horror short story contest for college during Halloween season a couple of years ago but never got to.

[Protonig]

Freedom of speech, you can't be jailed for expressing yourself. I actually kinda want to read that story.

[Klaark]

It's mainly a concern for high school and bellow.

[dah fuzzinator of dewm!]

To be honest, I thought of a phrase from Team Fortress 2 when I read your story summary. "Who sends babies to fight me?"

I am not sure about the detail of throwing infants as battering weapons, but I think that altering that detail to not include infant would be a bit less silly.

[basselope7]

dah fuzzinator of dewm!

To be honest, I thought of a phrase from Team Fortress 2 when I read your story summary. "Who sends babies to fight me?"

I am not sure about the detail of throwing infants as battering weapons, but I think that altering that detail to not include infant would be a bit less silly.

I know that it probably will not go over well with many people, but that's how it went in the dream. I was just wondering if telling that part exactly how it was in the dream (as everything up to the hiding in a cave part was exactly in the dream, and I thought up the rest of it a while after I woke up so that the story would be complete enough to enter in a contest, etc.), though sick and disgusting, would work in such a way that the pure audacity of including that detail would shock and horrify the readers enough to give it a reputation for being one of the creepiest/most sickening horror stories ever written. Because isn't that kind of what horror writers aim for? razz

Your username is awesome btw.

[dah fuzzinator of dewm!]

basselope7

I know that it probably will not go over well with many people, but that's how it went in the dream. I was just wondering if telling that part exactly how it was in the dream (as everything up to the hiding in a cave part was exactly in the dream, and I thought up the rest of it a while after I woke up so that the story would be complete enough to enter in a contest, etc.), though sick and disgusting, would work in such a way that the pure audacity of including that detail would shock and horrify the readers enough to give it a reputation for being one of the creepiest/most sickening horror stories ever written. Because isn't that kind of what horror writers aim for? razz

Your username is awesome btw.

Hmm...

I guess. Although I wasn't thinking of a horrific scene, I was thinking of how this scene seems to be unlikely to happen since babies seem to be straddled to strollers with belts nowadays. I keep thinking of baby battering rams when I read your story summary. sweatdrop

f you want to keep the inflicting pain with small children ideas, may I suggest choosing dolls for the character to be hit with? Maybe some little girl is pushing strollers that day and some crazed man takes her dolls. Then he beats your main character with them?

Oh! Maybe you could make it unclear whether the father threw a child or a doll at the main character. It might make your main character a bit unreliable, but interesting.

Thanks for the username comment, by the way.

[Persephone_xx]

The only way the authorities would bat an eyelash was if you did that or threatened to do it.

[Erogenous Jones]

Yeeaahhh...No.
I wouldn't go with the using babies as cudgels bit. Not so much because I think it might get you institutionalized (although there'd be bound to be some odd looks) but moreso because I just see it as being so out there as to be unreasonable.
Basically, the way I see it is it just wouldn't happen, and making the genesis of the protagonist's story so unbelievable casts a pall of incredulity over everything that follows.
Unless this is to be some kind of fantasy world with little or no basis in real life, I'd try to find something equally horrific but more within the realm of possibility to set her off.

[Singing Seraph]

There was a kid at my school that almost got arrested for writing a vampire story. Lol.
People can be crazy sometimes. You might have to keep that in mind.
But I highly doubt it would go that far where someone will institutionalize you for writing something. You can write whatever the hell you want.