Broken Heels and Banana Peels (Chapter 18 & 19 up)

What do you think?

Great	36.6%	[ 119 ]
Good	23.4%	[ 76 ]
Okay	13.5%	[ 44 ]
Needs Work	19.4%	[ 63 ]
Bad	7.1%	[ 23 ]
Total Votes:			[ 325 ]

[Green Tea Chi]

EvieHart

Thank you for commenting and taking your time to read my story and also giving me critique. :]

I don't want to restrict you guys from commenting on whatever you guys want to comment. I don't want to specifically say, "Okay, tell me how the story is in the development and what do you think of the grammer?" Like what if I just wanted you guys to comment on my plot and what do you think of it but then you see all of my spelling mistakes, wouldn't you want to comment on that also? Any feedback is awesome, right now I'm not in the situation to be picky on what I want you guys to critque me on.

I love your feedback lol, I think it's awesome that you picked certain things and quoted it and then commented on it. Thank you for the apology but you really shouldn't apologize if it's a half a** one.

I'm sorry I don't have enough time right now to comment on each of your comments but I'll just end this post with saying your feedback was helpful and it's good to see what other people really think. Thank you again. heart

[Green Tea Chi]

Angelina Germanotta

Green Tea Chi

Angelina Germanotta

Green Tea Chi

Angelina Germanotta

i want to read more xd xd xd xd

Yay, thank you for reading. I'll post whenever this thread gets to the second page. Hopefully you don't mind waiting.. mrgreen

Okay but when you post more pleawe do PM me okay

Okay, I definitely will! Sorry for the delay response also. xp mrgreen heart

heart heart heart Love it

Thank you again!! I'm finally on my second page of this thread, (OMG YAY!) soooo do expect a update and a PM in this week or next week. 3nodding

Angelina Germanotta

BTW did you draw the picture in your siggy? heart

Oh goodness no, LOL. I wish! I'm so not talented in that area. I wanted one of my friends to draw me a picture for this story but sadly she's on a artist block and I had this picture on my phone for a while just in case. Because as soon as I saw it on FB, I instantly knew that picture is just like my story or reminded me of my story. Sooo yeah, that's the story of the picture in my signature. xd

[Angelina Germanotta]

okay i'll wait for your PM, haha aww too bad you didn't draw it, it's just so beautiful! surprised

[EvieHart]

Quote:

Thank you for commenting and taking your time to read my story and also giving me critique.

You’re Welcome.

Quote:

I don't want to restrict you guys from commenting on whatever you guys want to comment. I don't want to specifically say, "Okay, tell me how the story is in the development and what do you think of the grammer?" Like what if I just wanted you guys to comment on my plot and what do you think of it but then you see all of my spelling mistakes, wouldn't you want to comment on that also? Any feedback is awesome, right now I'm not in the situation to be picky on what I want you guys to critique me on.

Okay, I see what you’re getting at, but while you think your being helpful in not specifying what you want from your reviewers, you’re not. Simple as. You can always let people know any feedback is welcome, but saying exactly what you want is better. Even if you’re unsure about what you want it’s probably just better to just pick your weakest point and ask people for help with that.

Being vague gets you vague responses.

By the way, there’s no doubt as to your weakest point.

Quote:

grammer?"

Grammar.

This is a critiquing forum so people are bound to pick at your work regardless, but if you truly want helpful reviews, then you need to tell us what you want.

Quote:

Thank you for the apology but you really shouldn't apologize if it's a half a** one.

Hmmm. Alright. First thing, I don’t really owe you an apology. That is to say, I never want to upset anyone in anyway and being a writer I understand many people are sensitive about their work. But, huge ‘but’ here, by the way, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way— but frankly, I don’t care about your feelings. They aren’t my business. My posting on your story and my caring about it aren’t mutually exclusive. I would hope that your invested it in, emotionally or otherwise, but I’m not. I gave you unbiased feedback and I apologised if I harsh at any point, mind you, I didn’t apologise well, I know that. That was mainly because my job here is to help you improve, I never intentionally set out to be rude, but I don’t care about your feelings either. My apology was meant to let you know that, but I should’ve done that better. rolleyes

Quote:

I'm sorry I don't have enough time right now to comment on each of your comments

Why would you?

[Green Tea Chi]

EvieHart

Quote:

Thank you for commenting and taking your time to read my story and also giving me critique.

You’re Welcome.

Quote:

I don't want to restrict you guys from commenting on whatever you guys want to comment. I don't want to specifically say, "Okay, tell me how the story is in the development and what do you think of the grammer?" Like what if I just wanted you guys to comment on my plot and what do you think of it but then you see all of my spelling mistakes, wouldn't you want to comment on that also? Any feedback is awesome, right now I'm not in the situation to be picky on what I want you guys to critique me on.

Okay, I see what you’re getting at, but while you think your being helpful in not specifying what you want from your reviewers, you’re not. Simple as. You can always let people know any feedback is welcome, but saying exactly what you want is better. Even if you’re unsure about what you want it’s probably just better to just pick your weakest point and ask people for help with that.

Being vague gets you vague responses.

By the way, there’s no doubt as to your weakest point.

Quote:

grammer?"

Grammar.

This is a critiquing forum so people are bound to pick at your work regardless, but if you truly want helpful reviews, then you need to tell us what you want.

Quote:

Thank you for the apology but you really shouldn't apologize if it's a half a** one.

Hmmm. Alright. First thing, I don’t really owe you an apology. That is to say, I never want to upset anyone in anyway and being a writer I understand many people are sensitive about their work. But, huge ‘but’ here, by the way, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way— but frankly, I don’t care about your feelings. They aren’t my business. My posting on your story and my caring about it aren’t mutually exclusive. I would hope that your invested it in, emotionally or otherwise, but I’m not. I gave you unbiased feedback and I apologised if I harsh at any point, mind you, I didn’t apologise well, I know that. That was mainly because my job here is to help you improve, I never intentionally set out to be rude, but I don’t care about your feelings either. My apology was meant to let you know that, but I should’ve done that better. rolleyes

Quote:

I'm sorry I don't have enough time right now to comment on each of your comments

Why would you?

heart heart heart heart heart

[AnnaKat]

There are a lot of grammatical errors as someone has already mentioned, quite a bit of repeating statements in slightly different ways, some contradictions to statements made earlier, and you kept mixing up your tenses. If I were you I would make sure to stick with past tense on all of my sentences at this point because it seems to be the one your'e going for the most with the foreshadowing statements and whatnot.

Overall you have a good idea and convey it fairly well though, I do wish to continue reading it so a pm sounds pretty great 3nodding

Oh and I also feel like most of your errors were due to inattentiveness rather than ability because you would make simple mistakes like say "imitating" instead of "intimidating". Basically I just recommend proof reading before continuing and then proof read your next segment before posting. If you want more specific critiques (or for me to proof read your work for you) ask away and I'll do as much as I have time for, maybe even the whole thing.

You really should continue working on this though, I'd really like to see where it goes 4laugh

[Green Tea Chi]

AnnaKat

There are a lot of grammatical errors as someone has already mentioned, quite a bit of repeating statements in slightly different ways, some contradictions to statements made earlier, and you kept mixing up your tenses. If I were you I would make sure to stick with past tense on all of my sentences at this point because it seems to be the one your'e going for the most with the foreshadowing statements and whatnot.

Overall you have a good idea and convey it fairly well though, I do wish to continue reading it so a pm sounds pretty great 3nodding

Oh and I also feel like most of your errors were due to inattentiveness rather than ability because you would make simple mistakes like say "imitating" instead of "intimidating". Basically I just recommend proof reading before continuing and then proof read your next segment before posting. If you want more specific critiques (or for me to proof read your work for you) ask away and I'll do as much as I have time for, maybe even the whole thing.

You really should continue working on this though, I'd really like to see where it goes 4laugh

Yay, thank you for taking your time to read and commenting. heart I'm trying to find someone to be my editor and proofread for me so there won't be so much mistakes. Clearly I need the extra help, sadly. Lol.

Let me ask and you're free to refuse and if you don't have enough time but can you proofread for me?

[AnnaKat]

Green Tea Chi

AnnaKat

There are a lot of grammatical errors as someone has already mentioned, quite a bit of repeating statements in slightly different ways, some contradictions to statements made earlier, and you kept mixing up your tenses. If I were you I would make sure to stick with past tense on all of my sentences at this point because it seems to be the one your'e going for the most with the foreshadowing statements and whatnot.

Overall you have a good idea and convey it fairly well though, I do wish to continue reading it so a pm sounds pretty great 3nodding

Oh and I also feel like most of your errors were due to inattentiveness rather than ability because you would make simple mistakes like say "imitating" instead of "intimidating". Basically I just recommend proof reading before continuing and then proof read your next segment before posting. If you want more specific critiques (or for me to proof read your work for you) ask away and I'll do as much as I have time for, maybe even the whole thing.

You really should continue working on this though, I'd really like to see where it goes 4laugh

Yay, thank you for taking your time to read and commenting. heart I'm trying to find someone to be my editor and proofread for me so there won't be so much mistakes. Clearly I need the extra help, sadly. Lol.

Let me ask and you're free to refuse and if you don't have enough time but can you proofread for me?

That will probably work just fine, I'll start working with this first segment and consult you with any questions how? What's the best method for you?

[Green Tea Chi]

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

AnnaKat

There are a lot of grammatical errors as someone has already mentioned, quite a bit of repeating statements in slightly different ways, some contradictions to statements made earlier, and you kept mixing up your tenses. If I were you I would make sure to stick with past tense on all of my sentences at this point because it seems to be the one your'e going for the most with the foreshadowing statements and whatnot.

Overall you have a good idea and convey it fairly well though, I do wish to continue reading it so a pm sounds pretty great 3nodding

Oh and I also feel like most of your errors were due to inattentiveness rather than ability because you would make simple mistakes like say "imitating" instead of "intimidating". Basically I just recommend proof reading before continuing and then proof read your next segment before posting. If you want more specific critiques (or for me to proof read your work for you) ask away and I'll do as much as I have time for, maybe even the whole thing.

You really should continue working on this though, I'd really like to see where it goes 4laugh

Yay, thank you for taking your time to read and commenting. heart I'm trying to find someone to be my editor and proofread for me so there won't be so much mistakes. Clearly I need the extra help, sadly. Lol.

Let me ask and you're free to refuse and if you don't have enough time but can you proofread for me?

That will probably work just fine, I'll start working with this first segment and consult you with any questions how? What's the best method for you?

I'll PM you the first chapter and you PM back with edits or however you would like. If that answered your questions. I just woke up so a little bit slow right now. xp

[AnnaKat]

Green Tea Chi

I'll PM you the first chapter and you PM back with edits or however you would like. If that answered your questions. I just woke up so a little bit slow right now. xp

Basically I was just wondering about questions while editing, I don't want to take too much liberty in things like paraphrasing lines that were repeated etc without consulting you first is all.

[Green Tea Chi]

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

I'll PM you the first chapter and you PM back with edits or however you would like. If that answered your questions. I just woke up so a little bit slow right now. xp

Basically I was just wondering about questions while editing, I don't want to take too much liberty in things like paraphrasing lines that were repeated etc without consulting you first is all.

Oh, that's fine if you want to... go right away. 3nodding

[AnnaKat]

Green Tea Chi

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

I'll PM you the first chapter and you PM back with edits or however you would like. If that answered your questions. I just woke up so a little bit slow right now. xp

Basically I was just wondering about questions while editing, I don't want to take too much liberty in things like paraphrasing lines that were repeated etc without consulting you first is all.

Oh, that's fine if you want to... go right away. 3nodding

So basically I should do whatever I think works best with any questions I have instead of asking? Is that what you're saying?

[Green Tea Chi]

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

I'll PM you the first chapter and you PM back with edits or however you would like. If that answered your questions. I just woke up so a little bit slow right now. xp

Basically I was just wondering about questions while editing, I don't want to take too much liberty in things like paraphrasing lines that were repeated etc without consulting you first is all.

Oh, that's fine if you want to... go right away. 3nodding

So basically I should do whatever I think works best with any questions I have instead of asking? Is that what you're saying?

Lol, sorryy, I'm so slow in the mornings! PM me your questions because this might take a while.

[AnnaKat]

Green Tea Chi

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

I'll PM you the first chapter and you PM back with edits or however you would like. If that answered your questions. I just woke up so a little bit slow right now. xp

Basically I was just wondering about questions while editing, I don't want to take too much liberty in things like paraphrasing lines that were repeated etc without consulting you first is all.

Oh, that's fine if you want to... go right away. 3nodding

So basically I should do whatever I think works best with any questions I have instead of asking? Is that what you're saying?

Lol, sorryy, I'm so slow in the mornings! PM me your questions because this might take a while.

Alrighty, that makes more sense hahaha whee

[Green Tea Chi]

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

AnnaKat

Green Tea Chi

I'll PM you the first chapter and you PM back with edits or however you would like. If that answered your questions. I just woke up so a little bit slow right now. xp

Basically I was just wondering about questions while editing, I don't want to take too much liberty in things like paraphrasing lines that were repeated etc without consulting you first is all.

Oh, that's fine if you want to... go right away. 3nodding

So basically I should do whatever I think works best with any questions I have instead of asking? Is that what you're saying?

Lol, sorryy, I'm so slow in the mornings! PM me your questions because this might take a while.

Alrighty, that makes more sense hahaha whee

heart heart heart