Learning to read music is going to be like learning a new alphabet. It will take work, but the end result is worth it.
If 'Every Good Boy Does Fine,' 'Fat Cats Go Down Alleys' and 'FACE' don't work for you, try a different tactic.
I know when I started learning how to read music, I didn't do any of that mnemonic s**t, I just memorized where the notes were on the staff.
You can find the note names anywhere on the internet, the trick is remembering which ones are which.
What worked for me was picking an arbitrary line or space and remembering THAT one. The other lines/spaces don't matter yet - just learn ONE to start with. If you're looking at the treble clef, the best note to learn is 'G,' the second line from the bottom. It's easiest because the swirl of the Treble Clef circles around that line - which is why it's sometimes called the 'G Clef.' Once you're comfortable with the first note, get to know the note one above G (A) and the note one below G (F)- the notes go in alphabetical order - A B C D E F G (and then repeats ad infinitum.) After that, keep picking notes to memorize (and their neighbors) until you have them all learned.
What may also help is color coding. Harpists do this when they're learning which strings are which. They assign specific notes specific colors. C strings are always red, and the F strings are always dark blue/black. If you can get colored pencils and map out which notes are which, that may prove to be more useful than 'FACE' etc.
You'll also need to practice this. Reading music won't do you much good unless you can read 'in the language' of your instrument. Once again, just take it a day at a time, one note at a time. This is a process - try to do too much too fast and you'll burn out and/or learn things wrong.
Use this as your 'master key'
Good luck.