TPauSilver
Part of me doesn't feel this, thinks it's not real, but I can't stop crying. It's so odd. I've prayed twice in a week now when I haven't prayed previously in 6 months. It just all feels so strange. I think part of the surealness comes from the two girls running around giggling in my hallway though...that I feel so, flat, when they're so happy.
I should be crying. I should be. But I'm not, even though I mean to. I think the sudden shock still has a grasp on me, and although this
definately does not mean I don't care, I never did talk to him enough to start some sort of bond. I don't know. I've never been able to cry easily, even when I wanted to. It'll probably all come out tonight.
It feels strange, mourning someone from the internet. Someone I've never actually met. I still mourn, though.
And suddenly I feel very ashamed of my banner. I wish I'd been able to get rid of the blue bits while I could - I feel it looks tackier than Shishio deserves.