Long Distance Relationsips (LDR) Support Thread

[SinfulGuillotine]

LynJah

Chibi_Ice_Angel

One interesting thing that has been touched upon but not elaborated on is the lack of physical intimacy. I know I miss that part of the relationship with my boyfriend. There are just some days when I want a hug or a hand to hold. I think it does make me appreciate him more though.

When the intimacy really comes, I feel much deeper (no pun intended) in love. It`s not just having sex, it`s making heart heart heart .

I dunno, it`s just more passionate, I think. 3nodding

I'm not really a fan of the theory that good sex comes from not having had it for a while.

In my experience, really good sex is with someone who knows you, knows what you like, knows you body (and vice versa) and with someone you're well-practised with.

That's not to say that really sexually-charged experiences can't be good just because of pure carnal desire or whatever, but....I dunno. It's a different kind of good.

[LynJah]

Wacko Quacko

Well, I've been in a long-distant relationship for almost a year now.

I met him on AIM, and I was not looking for a relationship at all. You can't stop yourself from falling in love, right?

He lives in Florida while I live in Massachusetts (1500 miles), but hopefully that will change next year or in 2012, whenever he pays off his car that screwed him over.

Most of the time, we're on the phone for hours. We don't talk the whole time. That would be hard, but it has happened before. (We're probably on the phone for an average of 6 hours a day because luckily he can go on the phone at work.)

We got to meet each other 10.5 months into the relationship. He came to visit for 8 days. I was shy at first, but I got better a day later. He sounds different on the phone. It's like it can't pick up his deep voice. Anyway, it sucks that he had to leave. I felt really relaxed when he was around, and I'm a very tense person. However, it's easy for me to adapt since I'm not that much of a physical person anyway. Neither is he. Still, though, I want cuddle timez. sad

It seems that you both are easily transitioning unto a bigger step - I`m here supporting you both!

I remembered the first time I heard him talk in real life. It sounded so much different that I freaked out that it wasn`t the right person razz Everytime he leaves, I always cry like a baby, but always think about the assurance that he`ll come back - maybe next time permanently! 4laugh

[Loko Kokoa]

I'm in a long distance relationship as well (if I weren't I doubt I would even be in the thread.) >__<

My husband and I got married March 2007, and have been separated ever since. And at this rate if God loves me at all, the soonest we will be able to be a husband and wife together will be July 2010.

You might be asking why it's been so long and will continue to be so long is that we are dual military stuck on different duty stations, and despite all efforts, we are stuck.

It's not easy at all, and definitely not now since I'm a preggo. Communication is soo hard, and sometime we feel like there is no hope. He sucks at listening and would rather get drunk and party with friends than talk to me the wife who has become a burden. But hey what can you do? Not a damn thing, except hope tomorrow will be a better day.

[Loko Kokoa]

SinfulGuillotine

I'm not really a fan of the theory that good sex comes from not having had it for a while.

In my experience, really good sex is with someone who knows you, knows what you like, knows you body (and vice versa) and with someone you're well-practised with.

That's not to say that really sexually-charged experiences can't be good just because of pure carnal desire or whatever, but....I dunno. It's a different kind of good.

I feel the same way.

Every time my husband comes to visit, its strange at first. Him in person and him in real life, are like two different people. And since we hardly ever get to see one another, its just awkward for me. I'm one of those people who have to get to know someone and be around them, and he just isn;t around for me to be like that with.

[SinfulGuillotine]

Drug Induced Euphoria

SinfulGuillotine

I'm not really a fan of the theory that good sex comes from not having had it for a while.

In my experience, really good sex is with someone who knows you, knows what you like, knows you body (and vice versa) and with someone you're well-practised with.

That's not to say that really sexually-charged experiences can't be good just because of pure carnal desire or whatever, but....I dunno. It's a different kind of good.

I feel the same way.

Every time my husband comes to visit, its strange at first. Him in person and him in real life, are like two different people. And since we hardly ever get to see one another, its just awkward for me. I'm one of those people who have to get to know someone and be around them, and he just isn;t around for me to be like that with.

For me it's not even a matter of feeling awkward of uncomfortable. I've had enough casual sex in my day to not really be bothered by being intimate with someone I don't know inside and out yet.

Mostly it's just that sex is a skill, and like any other skill, it gets better with practise. And since each person is different, being "good at sex" with one person is going to require some practise, communication, and exploration with that specific person before it's likely to be completely mind-blowing. There's just something really saitisfying about not having to worry about telling someone what you do or don't like, or talking them through doing something you want them to do, or reminding them not to do that one thing you don't like but everyone else they've ever ******** seems to love.

[Kitten Wants Bones]

I can't tell you how good it is to read these stories. My area is pretty traditional in their family values and this is a very large variation from the norm. (Then again, being bisexual is pretty far off the mark too haha).

And I just got off the phone from the Valentines Day call heart heart heart heart

@LynJah

Thanks for the birthday wishes! Having V-day and B-day back to back makes it a little harder to get by without him, but hey, you do what you have to do for love. smile

[Loko Kokoa]

SinfulGuillotine

Drug Induced Euphoria

SinfulGuillotine

I'm not really a fan of the theory that good sex comes from not having had it for a while.

In my experience, really good sex is with someone who knows you, knows what you like, knows you body (and vice versa) and with someone you're well-practised with.

That's not to say that really sexually-charged experiences can't be good just because of pure carnal desire or whatever, but....I dunno. It's a different kind of good.

I feel the same way.

Every time my husband comes to visit, its strange at first. Him in person and him in real life, are like two different people. And since we hardly ever get to see one another, its just awkward for me. I'm one of those people who have to get to know someone and be around them, and he just isn;t around for me to be like that with.

For me it's not even a matter of feeling awkward of uncomfortable. I've had enough casual sex in my day to not really be bothered by being intimate with someone I don't know inside and out yet.

Mostly it's just that sex is a skill, and like any other skill, it gets better with practise. And since each person is different, being "good at sex" with one person is going to require some practise, communication, and exploration with that specific person before it's likely to be completely mind-blowing. There's just something really saitisfying about not having to worry about telling someone what you do or don't like, or talking them through doing something you want them to do, or reminding them not to do that one thing you don't like but everyone else they've ever ******** seems to love.

Good point. But sex does not mean that much too me. It kinda died when I concieved this child that I bought condoms to avoid. So my husband doesn;t like the idea, but I'm going to be celibate until we want our next child.

[xX Learning 2 Fly Xx]

I met my boyfriend in a thread here in gaia. We were friends at first for 2 1/2 months, but he was/is a very caring person. I was getting out of another LDR when he met me and he noticed i wasnt happy at all, so he tried to comfort me...aaand even tried to fix the relationship (the other guy didnt want to fix it btw). so we started to talk more and more and i of course started to like him and he liked me as well. On March 20th, 2008...he asked me to be his girlfriend, in the weirdest but cutest way. He's from Austin, Texas and I'm from Chicago, Illinois. We met for the first time around May, for an anime here in Chicago (ACEN), while he stayed at my place when he was visiting, and then of course he went back home. 2 months later, he came back to live with me and my family. He stayed here for 5-6 months and then went back home cause he couldnt find a job here sadly. He helped alot while he was here, helped me alot too. Now, i miss him since he's back home since after Christmas. We're almost 11 months in our relationship and i couldnt be happier!! I love him soo much, just miss him tons!! We're already planning things for our wedding, even though we're not engaged...yet lo. I'm gonna try to visit him during spring break and then hes coming around June for my graduation!! I'll be moving in with him after all that happens. i cant wait xd heart

[SinfulGuillotine]

[Drug Induced Euphoria]

SinfulGuillotine

Drug Induced Euphoria

SinfulGuillotine

I'm not really a fan of the theory that good sex comes from not having had it for a while.

In my experience, really good sex is with someone who knows you, knows what you like, knows you body (and vice versa) and with someone you're well-practised with.

That's not to say that really sexually-charged experiences can't be good just because of pure carnal desire or whatever, but....I dunno. It's a different kind of good.

I feel the same way.

Every time my husband comes to visit, its strange at first. Him in person and him in real life, are like two different people. And since we hardly ever get to see one another, its just awkward for me. I'm one of those people who have to get to know someone and be around them, and he just isn;t around for me to be like that with.

For me it's not even a matter of feeling awkward of uncomfortable. I've had enough casual sex in my day to not really be bothered by being intimate with someone I don't know inside and out yet.

Mostly it's just that sex is a skill, and like any other skill, it gets better with practise. And since each person is different, being "good at sex" with one person is going to require some practise, communication, and exploration with that specific person before it's likely to be completely mind-blowing. There's just something really saitisfying about not having to worry about telling someone what you do or don't like, or talking them through doing something you want them to do, or reminding them not to do that one thing you don't like but everyone else they've ever ******** seems to love.

Good point. But sex does not mean that much too me. It kinda died when I concieved this child that I bought condoms to avoid. So my husband doesn;t like the idea, but I'm going to be celibate until we want our next child.

I'm sorry you're dealing with an unplanned (unwanted?) pregnancy. I can't really relate. I'm gay. But it must be rough, especially with your husband far away and what sounds like a somewhat rocky patch in your relationship.

Sex doesn't mean that much to me emotionally, but I enjoy it physically.

[Loko Kokoa]

SinfulGuillotine

I'm sorry you're dealing with an unplanned (unwanted?) pregnancy. I can't really relate. I'm gay. But it must be rough, especially with your husband far away and what sounds like a somewhat rocky patch in your relationship.

Sex doesn't mean that much to me emotionally, but I enjoy it physically.

Unplanned, I wanted kids, but not right now. Not much I can do about it. (I'm not for abortion personally)

Well thats good for you, so you'll never be in a position like this (hahaha position get it! j/k) consider yourself lucky. Yeah it's very rough, I see now how much an a** hole he can be most of the time. And thats not just coming from the hormones. But who knows what will happen next, will I not divorce him before we get out of the Army to give us a "chance". Or take it like I see it now, and go out and find something better while I'm still young. Who knows. I sure as hell don't.

[LynJah]

xX Learning 2 Fly Xx

I met my boyfriend in a thread here in gaia. We were friends at first for 2 1/2 months, but he was/is a very caring person. I was getting out of another LDR when he met me and he noticed i wasnt happy at all, so he tried to comfort me...aaand even tried to fix the relationship (the other guy didnt want to fix it btw). so we started to talk more and more and i of course started to like him and he liked me as well. On March 20th, 2008...he asked me to be his girlfriend, in the weirdest but cutest way. He's from Austin, Texas and I'm from Chicago, Illinois. We met for the first time around May, for an anime here in Chicago (ACEN), while he stayed at my place when he was visiting, and then of course he went back home. 2 months later, he came back to live with me and my family. He stayed here for 5-6 months and then went back home cause he couldnt find a job here sadly. He helped alot while he was here, helped me alot too. Now, i miss him since he's back home since after Christmas. We're almost 11 months in our relationship and i couldnt be happier!! I love him soo much, just miss him tons!! We're already planning things for our wedding, even though we're not engaged...yet lo. I'm gonna try to visit him during spring break and then hes coming around June for my graduation!! I'll be moving in with him after all that happens. i cant wait xd heart

A very fast phase, indeed. I`m glad things are turning out great for you, especially with your family accepting him enough to live in your home.

@sidewalkkittie

For love! heart

[SinfulGuillotine]

Drug Induced Euphoria

SinfulGuillotine

I'm sorry you're dealing with an unplanned (unwanted?) pregnancy. I can't really relate. I'm gay. But it must be rough, especially with your husband far away and what sounds like a somewhat rocky patch in your relationship.

Sex doesn't mean that much to me emotionally, but I enjoy it physically.

Unplanned, I wanted kids, but not right now. Not much I can do about it. (I'm not for abortion personally)

Well thats good for you, so you'll never be in a position like this (hahaha position get it! j/k) consider yourself lucky. Yeah it's very rough, I see now how much an a** hole he can be most of the time. And thats not just coming from the hormones. But who knows what will happen next, will I not divorce him before we get out of the Army to give us a "chance". Or take it like I see it now, and go out and find something better while I'm still young. Who knows. I sure as hell don't.

Yeah, that is a perk of being homo. None of this "You don't want to be a parent? TOO BAD, YOU'RE ********!" stuff. Though I did kind of want kids, but it's probably better that I don't pass on my genetic material, in all honesty.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Has your husband been like this for a long time, or is it a more recent development?

[Loko Kokoa]

SinfulGuillotine

Yeah, that is a perk of being homo. None of this "You don't want to be a parent? TOO BAD, YOU'RE ********!" stuff. Though I did kind of want kids, but it's probably better that I don't pass on my genetic material, in all honesty.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Has your husband been like this for a long time, or is it a more recent development?

Sometimes, I wish I had a p***s.

Hey you don;t need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong.

He kinda was like this before the incident. But it got a lot worse when said incident was noticed. I realized how mean he could be, and truly selfish he is. I don't think he understands how much I have to sacrifice for this baby, and that I was the one who talked him out of kids, and took that precaution on avoiding these kinds of things to happen. He hasn't been supportive, and everything is always about him. If he says something like "get an abortion" or "I don;t want to have kids with you" and "go kill yourself", he claims it's out of anger. Which is plausible but I'm supposed to be that one he "loves". And in my personal opinion you just don't say that to someone you love, regardless how angry you get. And every fight I express how I feel, and he feeds me "I'm changed, I won;t do it agian, I'm betetr now" and how he doesn;t want to be like that. But he turns around and does it agian. I'm no fool, if he can't be there supportive now, he won;t ever be. So I'd rather find someone that can be there when I need them, through think and thin like they promised. He's an a** hole.

Sorry for the rant, I kinda have no friends to talk too, let alone vent.

[Cerulean Jem]

Chibi_Ice_Angel, I love you for making this thread (though I haven't read it all yet) but I really hope this will decrease the number of LDR threads that pops up with the same questions, judgements, answers and debates/arguments.

I have a suggestion though to make something more clear. In the Long Distance Relationships Defined section for Long Distance Lovers, I suggest taking out the online chat rooms part and just say 'online'. I'm not sure how to explain it but I feel like it'll give less informed people the wrong idea with those who met their love on games, forums, or through online friends. When someone says chat room, I really think of those chat rooms like on AOL that became so popular years ago, which doesn't explain the other ways people connect.