A POLL! "Lick My Boots!" BDSM: The Passion, The Lifestyle

Pick your poison.

Top	12.2%	[ 329 ]
Bottom	33.2%	[ 896 ]
Switch	28.3%	[ 763 ]
Gold!	26.4%	[ 712 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2700 ]

[nightwolf714]

Hehe. Reminds me of this one episode of Law and Order (I think it was Special Victims Unit). Girl got in trouble with a bad Dom. They even mentioned safewords and munchs. It was pretty accurate (except for the idea that all sadists are evilish) so I was happy the whole time watching it. ^_^

[SmexyFur]

I never really was
On your side...

There was an episode of CSI where this lady killed some guy by shoving her shoe's heel into his temple. Those were some damn high heels too.

That's why I have a fetish for them now. >.>

[browneyed_jo]

HOLY BUCKETS! LOL I checked in at lunch today and we were only on page 8, now we're on page 12! WOW!
@fetishes-- n****e torture, g*****l torture, scratching (giving and receiving), costumes (not role play, just dressing up for my Owner), pinching, biting,

@things I'd like to try-- role play, corsets (own one but haven't used it yet, only tried it on and LOVE how it feels), candle wax,

Neither list is all-inclusive LOL I know there is more to add to each list.

And I finally got up the courage to kinda/sorta explain my Owner to my mom.... She was surprisingly accepting. Of course I just gave her a brief overview... no details, but it was a bit of a relief to explain why this guy has been so much a part of my life lately. LOL She kept asking who he was and what we "had". The "vanilla" world wants to call him my boyfriend, but that's such a "tame" word. So, now she knows.. and her response was, well, if it makes you happy. LOL

[nightwolf714]

r25s lil_jo

And I finally got up the courage to kinda/sorta explain my Owner to my mom.... She was surprisingly accepting. Of course I just gave her a brief overview... no details, but it was a bit of a relief to explain why this guy has been so much a part of my life lately. LOL She kept asking who he was and what we "had". The "vanilla" world wants to call him my boyfriend, but that's such a "tame" word. So, now she knows.. and her response was, well, if it makes you happy. LOL

We get talkative. Hehe. ^_^

I find that many people are surprisingly accepting so long as you are careful with your explanation (they don't need to know everything) and avoid the use of trigger words. My favorite example is having explained it to a preacher. ^_^ hehe. But seriously, people are usually okay with it so long as you don't use trigger words. Then it gets difficult because of the stereotype attached to them.

[Urvogel]

I don't really know how I'd ever explain it without dulling it down.
I'm a very blunt person.. =/

[TimeLadyRin]

Woo new thread! Wow it's picked up fast.

Alright..so I have good news. It's not terribly exciting (my life is dull) but I found a group that meets up in the city I'll be moving to in a few months. It's for kinksters 18-35. I'm actually really excited about it, but at the same time terrified. If I do go to one of their munches, I don't want to make a bad impression. That's if I actually muster up the bravado to go. I know this is to have a clean slate and start over my life, but whether or not I'm ready to step into the BDSM scene publicly is still something I have to figure out.

Does anyone have any personal experience with munches? Was it fun?

@ lil jo; I really admire you (and anyone else for that matter) who tells their loved ones about their kink. I couldn't tell my parents because they're too closed minded. The only person who knows is a online friend of mine...and you guys obviously.

[Crunchy Spice]

I was on a plane recently and on the way to Texas I ended up explaining my collar to the man next to me, and on the way back home I ended up explaining poly to this other guy (because I was re-reading The Ethical Slut, which is an amazing book by the way).
I have been told I tend to be very good at explaining things, because while I tend to be a bit blunt and sometimes rambly, I'm also honest and open about how things work and making sure if they have questions. It's finding a balance between talking a bit, getting feedback, asking if they want to know more or if they already know too much, then going on or stopping there, answering questions clarifying things etc. I've been told by those at the local dungeon I should be a spokesperson for BDSM and DD/lg.. I apparently do a good job explaining things while keeping in mind people have questions, concerns, and limits to what they hope to hear. 3nodding

As for mainstream media, I know a few DD/lg songs, as well as a couple kink songs. 3nodding
I personally, and I mean no offense, dislike people in the media using the lifestyle for shock value and attention in negative light.
It's one thing to advocate getting word out there in a positive and healthy way for the community, it's another to make everyone look ill or have something wrong that makes us this way, or that we're evil and twisted because of it.

[Crunchy Spice]

Munches- Daddy and I go to munches on occasion. They are very laid back places to meet like-minded kinksters in a safe vanilla environment. It's just a firnedly get togethr with people, and you can chat with them and be honest about your hobby of rope and knot tying, and tell them abouw how you've started practicing single tails on weekends. Whereas with vanilla friends, when they ask "So, what kind of club do you keep going to once a month?" you can;t talk about your latest flogging scene, you just have to be like "Oh, you know..the usual..."

While I personally am honest about everything with my friends, vanilla and not, not everyone is able to, and so it is important to have a social network for your kinky side as well as your vanilla side. How awkward would it be for some people here to explain to your very vanilla friend that your are having issues in your relationship because your boyfriend isn't beating you enough? rofl So it an be good to get advice from people who actually KNOW about the dynamics in your relationship as well because it keeps communication open and honest.

Telling parents- It isn't for everyone. I told my mother because I still lived with her when I first started exploring it, and because she enjoys hearing about it to keep up with my life and enjoys the kind of mother.daughter communication we have and she is happy that I am happy. However, some families might view it like sex. they don't want to hear about that personal aspect because they are not involved in it. Telling your parents and/or other family is a personal choice, and I feel that kink is no different than any other personal choice to share or not to share.
I feel a lot of it rests on basic questions like "Why do I want them to know?" "What do I want them to know?" "Is it worth the risks of rejection, disownment, criticism, etc.?" "Would someone try to take my children from me if they found out?" "Would drama start at reunions and holidays?" "Is this something I am willing to risk getting out in gossip among relatives?" "Should they know or it is really nothing they need to learn about me?" "What benefits will I get if I share?" "What benefits will I get if I don't share?" "What will I lose by sharing?" "What am I losing by hiding it?" "Do the pros outweigh the cons?"
It really is a personal choice, and there is no one right way.

Also, just because my friends and family know doesn't mean I always tlak about it with them. They just know that asking me "So, what did you do last weekend?" runs the risk of me telling them I was beaten black and blue by a cute girl in a nurses uniform. blaugh

[browneyed_jo]

Lilith, you make some very good points. For me, it was about the fact that my mother lives next door and I figured it was best to share a dull version of the truth than to have her jump to conclusions. Luckily, she's a fairly accepting person. But, again, no details. No one I know is ready for that. I've told very few people only because they are close enough to me to notice differences in my behavior due to following my Owner's directives. Again, trying to avoid the conclusion jumping issue.
Normally, I'm one of those ppl that whatever's in my head comes out my mouth, but this is one of those topics that some ppl have negative ideas about. You gotta pick and choose who you tell.

[Crunchy Spice]

For me, parts of how I live changed. Like, if I was with friends doing something and they wanted to change plans spontaneously I had to call and ask Daddy, whereas in the past I'd be all for it most of the time. So, in order to keep them from thinking he was abusive and a negative kind of control freak, I had to explain that I am under his orders on what I can and can't do.

Even just sitting at a friends place, if I am offered a glass of wine or a beer or something I have to ask him if I can have it, because if I plan to drink he wants to know a head of time and how much I think I'll drink, etc. 3nodding

[i ish boredness]

how do you f ucking get the signature look i have it but i cant get it ugh!!!!!!

[Crunchy Spice]

Signature look? sweatdrop

[Blackhorn- the Legend]

Oh, quick update for everyone about my Sir and I, well- mostly about me. I finally found a subby boy! Yay! After much looking and talking with the local subs, I found a young, fresh meat for me to pulverize... I mean.... No- that's right. 3nodding
He's almost a little too young for my tastes (seeing as I hate the drama my own age group attracts), but he's doing well. His back marks up wonderfully with a flogger and he is a wonderful little pain slut. ^_^

My Sir is just fine with this, since my sub is a good friend of ours. There haven't been any real problems (other than some girl trying to get between my sub and I), so let's cross our fingers and hope that my Domme side gets to come out and play a little more often! XD

[Crunchy Spice]

Congrats. 3nodding