Chieftain Twilight
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- Posted: Fri, 13 Apr 2012 02:48:16 +0000
Lady Sekhmet
Chieftain Twilight
Lady Sekhmet
I should have known there was a poly thread. Thanks.
Yep, I tried to explain to him that accepting poly doesn't make me poly. Having the desire or need for multiple partners would and that simply isn't the case. I put all of my energy into my relationship with him. Don't have enough to spare for someone else even if I was inclined to do so.
In the beginning he kept trying to convince me that I was bi. He seems to have given up on that idea now so I figure the poly thing will go the same way. He came across a post on fet where I responded to someone who is having some of the same issues that I have. Didn't really want him to read that but should have known he would and actually he now is aware of my issues so it's ended up not being a terrible thing. He is trying to make sure that I get the attention that I need but he just can't seem to grasp that as much as we love each other we have two completely different mindsets when it comes to this. I'm just not big on sharing.
well huh... this is interesting.
pardon me for squeezing in, here, but I actually happen to be a Poly myself and this post grabbed my attention.
I am curious about this, because it seems almost like your boyfriend has been showing signs of trying to shape you into what he wants to believe you are... and yet, when he's made aware of difficulties that plague your mind he becomes very sensitive to those issues and wants to help correct them as best he can.
I don't know whether to think that that is a controlling self-deluded kind of relationship on his part, or simply a naive and slightly ignorant one.
I don't mean to be rude or judgemental when I say this, more like inquisitive and observing... actually, I have to say that the mention of him making an effort for you brought a smile to my face. smile
I hope I'm not being creepy.
Oh no, not creepy at all.
I'm afraid that I confused people in the poly thread and painted my Dom in a rather poor light which he really doesn't deserve. Yesterday we disagreed but he kept his sense of humor which makes me think that he would like me to come over to his way of thinking but right now he is most likely teasing me. The problem in that is that I do take this aspect of our relationship seriously. I would have never thought that I would have ended up with a polyamorous individual so that alone is a challenge to my belief system. I do my best to keep any jealous in check. I also absolutely hate the idea of being a needy sub and when I have to share I have found that I become more needy. I don't need a lot of attention to be happy but I need a little often. That is what he is working on right now. We are both very stubborn but we also both will back out of an argument and let the other person "win." For me, as his sub, that's a natural response but when he does it I tend to be amazed and touched that he cares enough about me to swallow his pride. He is ever bit my Dom but the respect that we have for each other gets us through the rough spots and I'm sure that will help me through this one.
Right now, one of his slaves and I have been discussing how to set up a schedule for him to help him manage his time so we all get to spend time with him. Our thoughts are now centered on the idea that he is not use to having to juggle a larger household so it will be a learning experience for us all.
thing is, in Poly relationships as well as BDSM, responcibility and communication are the most important aspects, along with Trust and Honesty. some of the behavior mentioned is already a set of red flags.
but, he is clearly trying, and after all it isn't easy to pair Polies and Monogamous folks. I have struggled with it myself, and am realy not convinced that it works at all.... that is why I'm interested in following your relationship. maybe I can be proved wrong. smile
I would venture to assume that he's very unused to being with someone monogamous... it can present a huge challenge, especially when neither side realy understands the other's point of view or mindset. but working out scheduals like that can be helpful in laying a groundwork.
