x

[i miss you bae]

x

[legnanellaf5]

Dont be in a relationship. When something is on and off it is a sign it aint working, and in your case the issue is how you react and your warped sense of expectations.

For one 50/50 isnt literally you have to split every single thing ever. It isnt about money either, it is the whole relationship. So if she has no job, what money does she have to pay? Of course you pay for dates, you can. Doesnt mean she isnt pulling her own, it just means she cant financially match you and you know this. Then you have this big attitude where you lash out at her, and then break up in anger..then try to win her back by saying how much you love her. It is not only stupid but a dangerous cycle to get into. Saying you are sorry doesnt change what happened. If you are having similar arguments (over something that isnt an issue since she is trying to better herself with school) then it isnt something that was resolved with Im sorry before. You need to actually have a change.

spamming her phone with texts is not going to make things better.If she doesnt want to work it out, respect that.

[the wolf girl]

It sounds like you need some time to decide what you want in a relationship. A couple can provide 50/50 even if one of them is unemployed. There is more to contribute than money and the money you invest has little to do with how much you've invested into the relationship. You should also probably look into those mean things you said to her. Why did you say them? Out of anger? Or did you think they were true? You acknowledge you said things to put her down but did you ever try to change? Why should she take you back when this is becoming a habit? Why do you want her back if you don't feel like she is contributing? There are just so many questions your post spawns and while I don't really want the answer I think you should think them over because if you can't handle having a partner that doesn't contribute equally financially then maybe you should look elsewhere.

[xXFurygeistXx]

Dude, you ******** up big time, and you both sound too immature to be dating at the moment. Instead of expressing your feelings, you'd get angry, which never helps the situation. Yes, she should have been putting in some effort on the dates, but you know she has no job and all her money is going to school and keeping her afloat. Next time you are in such a situation with a lady (cuz it's gonna be pretty slim to get back with her), ask if they want to do stay in dates. Talk to them about how you feel on the 50/50 split thing, and they can do a stay at home date and cook dinner and rent the movie. More in their price range and you both still get to enjoy each other's company. Or you can look for free things to do in your area, plan a picnic, that kind of s**t. And next time, don't just break up over stupid little arguments. Wait until you are both calm and can assess your relationship together. If you find there are more cons than pros, end it. But don't drop someone just cuz you got mad. Because breaking up tends to have a note of finality to it, and it sours the relationship if you get back together, because the trust is gone. I'm not gonna give you ways to get her back. If she decides she wants to talk and think about taking you back, she'll contact you. But whatever you do, don't start harassing the s**t out of her because you ******** up. That's a definite way to make sure she never wants to even see or talk to you again, and maybe get a restraining order thrown your way. Learn from your mistake. Learn to be more open with your next girlfriend. It's totally okay to talk about your feelings as long as you keep it to 'me' and 'I' statements and don't get accusatory. Figure out other fun ways to hang with yer girl and do dates. Not all of 'em are dinner, movie, club scenarios.

[darlene devonshire]

why does 50/50 have to be right now? i mean, i hear about ppl who do things like one works so the other can go to school & then they switch. maybe right now ur the breadwinner & she is going to school [like u said for a better life] & then when she is done u can even up -- maybe she buys dinner out for a while or something.

i am no expert but my parents are pretty happy together & i see them do things like this quite a bit. they compromise & work it out. if u love her does it matter if she buys u dinner next week or next year?

make up & maybe make some longer plans together. emotion_hug

[Iretai]

i woke up in a new punani

How exactly do you expect her to pay when she has no job? If you're "so fed up" with paying, stop taking her out for a while. Also, if you're just going to break up with a girl over any small little fight, that's not healthy and you should stop trying to get back with her. When you get with a girl and feel the urge to leave her after a fight sit there and truly think about it. Do you really want to leave her? Do you feel this is a right choice? Was the fight worth it? Think about those beforehand and if you really believe that breaking up is the answer, do it and don't look back. Don't go back and forth with a girl just because you can't make up your mind on what you do/don't want.

[Glitterama]

if you are fighting with her because things aren't even between the two of you, then maybe she isn't the one for you. relationships aren't about being even; it's about supporting one another when you have to. keeping track of how much one person does for the other instead of focusing on the relationship is foolish.

i'm not saying that you SHOULD pay for everything all the time, but it really isn't something you should get mad about, especially when there's other options that don't involve spending too much money. you don't want to pay? tell her, let's have a nice evening in, and make her dinner. make her some handmade gifts that don't cost a lot. sometimes, a little thought speaks volumes above anything money can buy.

but now that the deed is done, you made your bed, and now you have to sleep in it. its not up to you to get her back, it is her decision to take you back. maybe now is a good time to reflect and learn from this experience.

[xI Beautifully me]

She's unemployed. How can she be the one to pay? You want her to rob a bank? And plus you shouldn't even be offering her to pay anything. You're a guy and guys pay when they go out to eat with their girlfriend. That's just how it is. It's called being a gentleman. That's just what men do...or what they're supposed to be doing.

[Grimcess]

Uhm a lot of girls expect guys to pay all the time, deal with it.

[Stale Taste]

Grimcess

Uhm a lot of girls expect guys to pay all the time, deal with it.

He doesn't have to deal with anything. In fact, having one partner pay for everything causes resentment some of the time, so it is best that a girl have some income or some other way to make up for her lack of income

[[S]ilver[R]ose]

i woke up in a new punani

I can understand wanting things to be 50/50, but if you got upset over her not paying every now and again I don't think you really care about her. If you really cared for he you'd be willing to do anything for her especially paying for dates when you know she has no income right now. Maybe you should take a step back and rethink getting back together.

[Little Dead Soldier]

What I see in what you wrote is that everytime you two get into a fight, you run away by breaking up. But then get back together and then constantly go back in this vicious cycle instead of finding a solution. Perhaps some time apart will do you both good. You seem like you need to grow some more when it comes to relationships and realize what you really want, because flipping back and forth isn't healthy for either of you.

[Octomaid]

Don't promise when you're happy, don't reply when you're angry, don't decide when you're sad.

You really need let your feelings develop for more than a few days. Consider temporarily deleting her contact in your phone, clear your messages, maybe turn off your phone. She's either not into the relationship anymore, or is doing what's smart and not responding to you while she decides how she feels. Don't bombard her with texts, whether it's begging or apologizing. Doing this can seriously affect the way a person thinks, whether it's for better or worse. Don't pressure her.

However, if she's not seriously considering your feelings, that's pretty selfish. You deserve to feel like you're not doing everything for her, and if you want equality in relationships you should consider looking for more mature partners.

To everyone saying he should deal with having to pay for her meals: No.
If you like paying for all your partner's meals, cool. If not, cool.
He isn't required to do anything because of his gender.

[i miss you bae]

Thank you everyone for your insight, I appreciate it very much so. It's been day 4 now and we still haven't talked to each other. Since I am the only one that is getting income, I guess I am obligated to pay because she doesn't have a job or any money whatsoever. But sometimes she would complain and tell me we do the same things every time we go out; lunch, movies, dinner, mall, etc.

I mean there's not really much we can do around downtown, I don't have a car yet so I am actually spending $20 both ways on a train to visit her. And a few times she did mention that since I am the guy I should be paying and I think this would affect me in the long run. I really love this girl but sometimes I feel like I am just $$$ to her especially when she doesn't show me love or affection. I don't mind paying for everything but when she starts to neglect me of love and affection that's when I start to say mean things to her then we escalate into fights. I think we both love each other but there's just some work that needs to be done on both sides. I am trying to learn to control my anger and mean ways but she shouldn't neglect me anymore. I am thinking of texting her tomorrow and see what happens and then bring her, her favorite flowers... sad

[maikaymon]

Seems like you and your girlfriend is experiencing many 'break-ups' and that is usually a bad sign because relationships are suppose to last long, not short.

I don't see how she can pay money when she doesn't have a job and if you really did love her, you would understand her situation about spending money. If you both don't want to spend money, then don't do activities that costs money. Do 'free' things together.

I don't think you know want you actually want from a relationship. You should stop and think yourself. What you actually want, before starting a relationship.