Koko the Unicorn
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Mon, 11 Jun 2012 03:42:44 +0000
Background story: I have been with my boyfriend for a year,
we have never fought or anything of the sort, we have always
been really close and "in love". I've been wanting out of this
relationship for a while now, and I have been faking a smile
for quite sometime because I do not have the heart to do otherwise.
He's not a bad guy really, and doesn't deserve the broken heart,
but I can't really help that I have fallen out of love with him.
Here is where it gets messy...
So about a week ago. I broke up with him. I have never made
anyone cry in my life, so making a dude cry that hard was a huge deal.
Being the idiot that I am, I took it back immediately. I said I'd try my best
to work things out. It's been a week and I'm so miserable that all I can
think about is running away. I fantasize about running away, or losing
my memory and all these terrible things just to escape this stupid
situation that I feel trapped in. I have finally come to turns that yes, I
am no longer in love with him - and indeed I am in love with someone
else. Whether or not said person even LIKES me back; I have no idea,
but honestly it is not that I want to be with this other person, I just
want OUT of what I'm IN and to be free again and to feel happy again.
That being said, I'm an extremely happy person all the time, so to
suddenly feel this depressed/isolated/trapped all the time is really
messed up. I am honestly trying my damned hardest to make this
relationship work but I just don't think my heart is in the right place
anymore. It's too serious, I am only 20, and he is talking about
moving in/getting married/having kids. He is 2 years older than me
and I am in no way ready to settle down. GUYS I honestly do not
have the strength or courage in me to actually break it off; I tried
once already and it did not go so well. What should I do now?
Whenever I think of trying to break it off I either have a panic attack
or throw up. He is just SO in love and attached to me, and I feel like
such a b***h for not feeling the same way anymore (I used to) I
honestly am so stuck, I know nobody can do or say anything to
help me, but I just want as much advice as I can get :c
we have never fought or anything of the sort, we have always
been really close and "in love". I've been wanting out of this
relationship for a while now, and I have been faking a smile
for quite sometime because I do not have the heart to do otherwise.
He's not a bad guy really, and doesn't deserve the broken heart,
but I can't really help that I have fallen out of love with him.
Here is where it gets messy...
So about a week ago. I broke up with him. I have never made
anyone cry in my life, so making a dude cry that hard was a huge deal.
Being the idiot that I am, I took it back immediately. I said I'd try my best
to work things out. It's been a week and I'm so miserable that all I can
think about is running away. I fantasize about running away, or losing
my memory and all these terrible things just to escape this stupid
situation that I feel trapped in. I have finally come to turns that yes, I
am no longer in love with him - and indeed I am in love with someone
else. Whether or not said person even LIKES me back; I have no idea,
but honestly it is not that I want to be with this other person, I just
want OUT of what I'm IN and to be free again and to feel happy again.
That being said, I'm an extremely happy person all the time, so to
suddenly feel this depressed/isolated/trapped all the time is really
messed up. I am honestly trying my damned hardest to make this
relationship work but I just don't think my heart is in the right place
anymore. It's too serious, I am only 20, and he is talking about
moving in/getting married/having kids. He is 2 years older than me
and I am in no way ready to settle down. GUYS I honestly do not
have the strength or courage in me to actually break it off; I tried
once already and it did not go so well. What should I do now?
Whenever I think of trying to break it off I either have a panic attack
or throw up. He is just SO in love and attached to me, and I feel like
such a b***h for not feeling the same way anymore (I used to) I
honestly am so stuck, I know nobody can do or say anything to
help me, but I just want as much advice as I can get :c