Major problem with "friend" *Trigger Warning*

Free gold

Yay!!	100.0%	[ 24 ]
Total Votes:			[ 24 ]

[cre8ive_ovadose]

[Soothead]

I don't think reporting it to a teacher would do any help if she's too stubborn to see how wrong her words can be. Also, that would probably make your relationship worse.
You shouldn't hang around her and tolerate those sort of things. Surround yourself with better, more understanding people. Someone who knows you to that level, yet still continues with this isn't someone you should associate with.

If she's too stubborn to believe she is wrong, does that mean that you've tried to talk about this with her?

Also, I'm from Australia too. You mean two weeks until you leave school for good from year twelve right?
You can stick it out, since afterwards you will probably never see her again but I really think you should stay away from her. Which may be easier said then done. Sorry if my words weren't really that helpful.

[Decanie]

Report her honey. What she's doing could easily be considered bullying/emotional abuse. Putting it under the guise of a joke is completely insulting. That's just like saying "No offense, but..." as if that makes something non-offensive. The bottom line is she directly said to you that you should kill yourself. ESPECIALLY knowing your issues, she knows better than to even try joking about something like that. Something like that shouldn't even be a joke in the first place, really. It's pretty distasteful.

Definitely report her. She's on a slippery slope and she's started pushing the boundaries, testing you to see what she can get away with saying even if it's not a conscious effort. This type of thing could very easily evolve into outright bullying and abuse. n** it in the bud. If it makes you uncomfortable, TELL HER, and tell an authority figure you trust. Also, stop being her friend. She sounds like a lousy, gossipy backstabber. You don't need to be trusting a person like that with your emotions and mental health. You need to do what's right for you to get better and be comfortable with yourself, and this girl is NOT helping.

[Lashuri Chan]

I would let it slide for now. From what I read it seems to have been a one time thing and you did say she was joking, yeah it's not something to joke about and all that but if you were to report her, she would be like "OMG it was just a hoke! Why are you taking it so seriously!!!?" You know how people are when they get offended and it also happens if you don't talk to them before reporting them.

But like the first user said if you have only just ten more days of school then just stay clear of her. Tell her though that you don't wish to associate with her anymore because of how she acts and just leave it at that.

[Smudged_Makeup]

Unlike the above poster I would not let this slide. But I would reccomend you be as non-combative and defensive as possible.

Try and gather your courage and then talk to her. If she's your friend she'll understand how much that comment hurt you and won't do it again. Keep the line of communication open because they're not going to learn otherwise.

Who knows, maybe she's going through her own thing.

But if she continues to bring it up after you've told her you're uncomfortable with the subject and that what she said really hurt you, it would be a good idea to sever ties.

Sometimes it's just something you've got to do for your own health and though you may not believe it, you have to try to put yourself at least somewhere close to first.

And remember, you're loved. c:

Good luck, I hope everything goes well.

[glowing clouds]

i would confront her.

i know confronting people takes courage, but it always pays off in the end if you are honest about your feelings.


be direct and honest with her.

"i don't appreciate your insensitivity and childish behavior. If you continue to act this way, i will no longer be your friend."

that's just something i would say, but i'm not a nice person when people play with my emotions.


she sounds like someone that you don't need in your life. forget her.

[vegasshopgirl]

I know it's difficult to fight off those feelings, but the more you do it, the stronger you become.

Since you mentioned she's talked to the counselor, it's possible that she's having similar issues and her comments may be her way of coping at the moment.. which doesn't make it right, but maybe she needs you as a friend and doesn't know how to approach you about it.

I would try talking to her about things and see where things go from there. If she insists on being negative, then just walk away from her and don't wait for the end of the school year to do so.

[angel_259236102]

Let it slide. You are overreacting a lot with her jokes and instead of throwing what is really a temper tantrum, tell her upfront that you dont like these kinds of jokes. How else would she KNOW how much it gets to you unless you jsut TELL her. To her, she has just being making light of things probably to make it easier to bring up things because these topics are hard to ttalk about otherwise.

Really you talk about all these things that you KNOW she doesnt know then wwondering why she isnt so senstive to you. Well...its becuase she doesnt know.

And no, I have myself and others who have been depressed made light of death and suicide. That is your issue, not an overall thing. Saying to someone you should kill yoursel fis a bit much for me personally, but joking about these topics itself is not.


Also, just tell people oyu are depressed and self harming. Trust me, it helps way more than you think, and isolating yourself really makes it worse.

[Twin Suns Three]

Since you don't want to cause trouble for yourself, I would recommend not reporting her. Chances are nothing would happen to her besides a stern talk with an administrator/counselor.

I think the best thing you could do is confront her about how much her insensitive jokes and behavior hurt your feelings, how triggering her words are whether she meant it or not. Frankly, you should also tell her that you no longer wish to remain friends and that you would appreciate it if she didn't try to further socialize with you.

If you're not already seeing a therapist, I think you should definitely seek professional help. My old therapist was wonderful and helped a lot with my depression and social anxiety. Even if you don't feel safe talking to a professional, tell someone you can trust. Just having someone listen to you and be there for you means a lot, and it's certainly better than isolating yourself.

[Cannibal Girls]

☠
I would stop talking to her. She sounds like a c**t.
☠

[Dr Johann Faustus]

I'm sorry she's acting like this, and I definitely don't agree with the people who say that you're overreacting and to leave it. It's understandable that you're really upset and her behaviour does seem really callous - saying to kill yourself, wtf?!

I would speak to her on the matter in a sensitive way, if you can. Just sit down with her and tell her how much it hurts to hear her say those things and joke about them. Just be polite and calm. If she carries on, I think you could either go two ways - report her to a teacher and try to have a talk with her where the teacher mediates (which can be surprisingly helpful), or tell her that she has been hurting you a lot and you're really upset with her behaviour, try to stick out the two weeks and then you hopefully won't have to communicate with her as much when you finish.

It could be her coping method if she is suicidal, yes, but it doesn't give her an excuse to hurt other people. I have similar coping methods sometimes (more like taking the piss out of myself, but whatever) and if it's hurting another person, I will always stop because it's rude and selfish. It could also just be that she hit "that age" late and is deciding to suddenly try to be ~*edgy*~ by making jokes about 'dark' things.

However you choose to deal with it, I hope it all goes well.

[goodnight stranger]

I would definately not let it slide. What she is doing is inconsiderate and she doesn't sound like a real friend to me. She clings to you when nobody else is around, she jokes about suicide, and if I read your post correctly it is MORE than a one time thing.

She is choosing to be insensitive towards you, I don't think it's a matter of ignorance but a matter of deliberate disregard. I would confront her and tell you think her behavior is insensitive and hurting you, and you would prefer if she stopped joking about something that you have been struggling with for years. Because by joking around about these things in front of you she is showing you that she doesn't think it's a big deal and that she doesn't take your problems seriously.

I personally feel like she might be doing this to be passive agressive, especially because in your post you mentioned her telling her friend she "always has to stop you from committing suicide" or something to that extent. To help out a friend who is in a situation like yours can be very tiring and instead of taking time for herself she might be acting out in a more immature way.

[OP-Yuna]

Report her. A REAL friend wouldn't want you to kill yourself. A REAL friend should be helping uplift and support you as best as they can emotionally. I would be seriously, SERIOUSLY, afraid of someone telling me I should be dead. Joking or not. Suicide is not a joke. Especially since she knows you're self harming and suicidal anyway.

Even if you don't report her, SOMEONE needs to know about her behavior - your parents, her parents, SOMEONE. Hell, tell someone who will beat some sense in to her. Something that will result in repercussions to her. More than just a talking to. After all, whatever it stirs up you'll only have to endure for a couple of weeks.

[seabrume]

First of all, don't kill yourself. It's not worth the pain and suffering you'll cause your family and your real friends.

Secondly, avoid her. Like you said, you don't plan on being friends with her after High School, so why not just n** it in the bud now. She's not good for you, and certainly not behaving like a true friend. If she tries to talk to you or hang out with you, come up with excuses to avoid her. Find a new group to hang out with for the last couple weeks.

I promise things are a lot better outside of High School. Bullying is rarely present in college and the workforce. c: