Long distance relationship, need help

[Fat Anime Tiddies]

Have you tried talking to her about it?

[yeet-chan]

Person in a long distance relationship here.
I totally understand your concern because it does seem like she's become less interested in interacting with you since you moved away.
Believe it or not, the only way to really actually know what the issue on her end is is to talk to her about it. That's the only way. If she avoids the topic, you have to press it more. If she wants the relationship to work, she has to put as much effort into it as you are, which means keeping up with communicating with you when things aren't going so well in whatever way.
And ofc you have to tell her exactly why you feel this way about her sudden behavior or else she won't understand.
Or she could actually just be too busy and doesn't know how to tell you that she's too stressed to do anything with you.
But like I said, the only way to know is to ask her.
DO IT

[The Luminosity]

Cake Walrus

I recently had to move to a new town about an hour away from my girlfriend and it's really hard. She's still in high school and I'm sort of a deadbeat graduate.She's been super busy lately and the time we get together through skype and other things has been weening and she's been really evasive and I feel like she's becoming less attracted to me. We used to have skype sex semi regularly but now it's become pretty one sided and no matter what time it is she always gets "sleepy" when I bring it up. On top of that, she's become evasive when it comes to dates and even hanging out with mutual friends, and won't even let me call her to say goodnight sometimes. I still love her and I can deal with the lack of sexual interaction, but when it's coupled with her general disinterest and refusal to discuss any problems we're having, i'm scared.

It appears that the real problem is you assuming the worse of your girlfriend, and letting your insecurities ruin your relationship in ways you're unaware of. Perhaps you relied on sexual interaction as reassurance that this long distance relationship may work, but now that she's too busy, it's causing you to freak out and think the relationship may end soon.

Helpful Links:
Insecurities Kills Relationships
Overcome Insecurities

[Boobly Eyes]

It just seems like she's getting less interested.. To be honest, you should really talk with her about this problem instead of coming on here and talking about it. This is a simple problem to talk about. You could ask her about her honest opinions of you, and just ask if there's anything wrong from the way she's been acting. She could be stressed or depressed. Just blatantly ask if she isn't interested in you. It may hurt, but that's the only way you'll get answers. And getting answers is the only way to solve your issue. Maybe breaking up is the solution. It seems you need to get your life together anyways.

[sanorah]

I agree with Boobly Eyes. She may have other issues going on right now. You should talk to her about it. As for being a deadbeat just keep trying, you'll find something eventually. Are there any counsolers you can talk to about your anxiety and depression? They'd probably have better advice about all of this. Either way you should look into copeing techniques, esspecially if you can't get your meds anymore. I've heard that for some people changeing your diet can be helpfull. Allot of people with anxiety and depression dissorders can be sensitive to all kinds of things without ever knowing it.

[Misty_Mystix]

Cake Walrus

legnanellaf5

Stop thinking with your d**k. Its pretty pathetic that your worry is on sex and not the fact you are a 'deadbeat' graduate and that she will realize sooner or later.

Your relationship should not be based around sex, and her being 'sleepy' is a sign she isnt into that at all. She shouldnt have to do a sex act to please you, take her hint and stop.

For one, you know next to nothing about the situation. I got kicked out of my house halfway through my senior year and I fill out more applications in a week than most people do in a week. It's not as if I find this to be a relationship ending problem, I've been in a relationship with an asexual girl before. It's simply sexual frustration that I don't know how to vent. If I was "thinking with my d**k" I would have broken up with her, but I love her and I wouldn't do that. Don't make crass judgements about situations you know next to nothing about.

Masturbating on cam and such could be really tiring and a hassle for her, like a chore even if she has a good libido.

[Genyusai]

She's got a new boy toy and you nerd to forget about her and move on.

[Sushibuttt]

Alright, since everyone in this thread is pretty much attacking you for no reason I'll give you some advice. I was in a long distance relationship, he lived only an hour and a half away. Not far at all but my boyfriend was in foster care, so once he turned 18 they threw him out like he was nothing. So he pretty much was a deadbeat also. He had no car, no job no nothing. Getting a job when your young when you have pretty much no experience is harder then most people think, my boyfriend had bad luck on top of it. Like he'd get the job and then he'd call asking for when he started and they would say "Oh we actually hired to many people so nevermind"

Now I will tell you LDRs' are very hard to keep control over if you don't talk about things with the other person. My boyfriend also had sexual frustration, so I understand how you feel there. To my boyfriend it was kinda the only way he felt like he was being close to me. In my head I liked it but at the same time I didn't, try asking her about it, like REALLY asking. Girls tend to hide feelings a lot. She also might be ignoring you because when you talk to her you try to bring up being flirty and all that jazz. When my boyfriend would do that it wold make me miss him more and I'd feel not so into it. I know I didn't make a lot of advice but I hope what I said helped you.

[Stale Taste]

Cake Walrus

legnanellaf5

Cake Walrus

legnanellaf5

Stop thinking with your d**k. Its pretty pathetic that your worry is on sex and not the fact you are a 'deadbeat' graduate and that she will realize sooner or later.

Your relationship should not be based around sex, and her being 'sleepy' is a sign she isnt into that at all. She shouldnt have to do a sex act to please you, take her hint and stop.

For one, you know next to nothing about the situation. I got kicked out of my house halfway through my senior year and I fill out more applications in a week than most people do in a week. It's not as if I find this to be a relationship ending problem, I've been in a relationship with an asexual girl before. It's simply sexual frustration that I don't know how to vent. If I was "thinking with my d**k" I would have broken up with her, but I love her and I wouldn't do that. Don't make crass judgements about situations you know next to nothing about.

You are thinking about your d**k if your 'issue' is skype sex. You arent respecting her if you are forcing this situation onto her. I dont care if you have been with an asexual girl before, that doesnt suddenly make you understanding...what you flat out havent been. A girl, whether online or in real life, who is making constant excuses to avoid sex...is sayin she DOESNT WANT TO HAVE SEX. I dont know what is hard about this statement. Stop pressuring her.

Also, regardless of your situation, you being a deadbeat is the bigger issue. Fix yourself or she will start realizing she can do better. It is good that you are trying to fix it, but dont try to make yourself look good just because you put in applications, you are in a s**t situation and that makes you a bad choice logically to date. If she picks up on that, she will leave.

I'm not forcing anything on her. I simply ask if she's interested and if she says no I drop it and we continue the call as normal. I'm doing my best to better myself and I do my best to provide for her and make her feel as fantastic as she deserves to feel because she's my everything. I'm just sexually frustrated and I don't know what to do. I'm not asking for ways to make her more attracted to me or make her want to do things, I'm just asking for some sort of way to alleviate the frustration. I understand why she doesn't want to and I respect and support her in everything she does all the same. That doesn't change the fact that even when I visit her she always makes excuses not to go on dates or even just hang out with our mutual friends. My financial situation is not my fault, I was kicked out for not being able to meet my parents expectations of greatness because of depression and anxiety disorder.

Well, masturbation is a way to deal with sexual frustration. Voice your concerns to her. If she doesn't listen, you are probably wasting your time with this girl.

[Diabolic Grin]

Quote:

Stop thinking with your d**k. Its pretty pathetic that your worry is on sex and not the fact you are a 'deadbeat' graduate and that she will realize sooner or later.

Your relationship should not be based around sex, and her being 'sleepy' is a sign she isnt into that at all. She shouldnt have to do a sex act to please you, take her hint and stop."

This. Aaaaaaall of this. No bigger turn off than a guy who can do nothing but use his d**k. If she's not interested, watch porn. She will most likely not be mad. If you can't get past her not being sexually interested in you, maybe it's time to find someone else, or take a break from dating for a while. Till your s**t is in order, perhaps.

Edit: Also talk to her about it. She's most likely not a ********' mind reader and has no bloody idea that this bothers you so much.

[Zancuno]

I am weird in normal standards when it comes to guys. I will take a girl's opinion over a guy's. I would have to say, be a gentleman. KEEP IT IN THE PANTS AND FOCUS ON BEING KIND!!. Best tip ever. I cannot say what female's want, since I am not one, but I do anything I can for my girlfriend. I find ways to see her. I will write poems. I will drop plans to help her. If something is wrong, I ask. I have a fear of hurting her, not because of what she would do, but of what I would become. I keep anything offensive from being voiced. I will be her servant when she's sick. If she doesn't like something, I will stop it. You've got to work to prove that you are right for her, and after you have keep proving. The girl is a queen, it's your choice to be either in the throne beside her and accept her or be at her feet for acceptance.

[Morbid Bubblegum]

I come from the extreme long distance spectrum so I can understand the importance of keeping up a communicative relationship and I also understand the stresses when one significant other is having financial hardships. That being said, it does sound like you need to relax and stop stressing so much. This may be one of the reasons as to why she's distancing herself. I'm not sure why you are unable to spend time with her though, does her family not allow you to come visit her and can she not come see you?

I would apologize to her for being so stressed and awkward lately and let her know what you're working on and ask her if she'd like to meet you halfway and work out your relationship as it seems to have reached a bit of a rut and it's concerning you. Listen to what she has to say and maybe just don't even go there with the skype sex for now and work out some fun skype dates like gaming together if you like to do that or watching a show or movie together. See if you can hang out too in real life since you're not far from each other.

It sounds like your relationship has become a bit monotonous and you're both not on the same level. It'll take just focusing on what you'd like to accomplish and finding out how she feels and what she'd like to accomplish as well and working it out together if you're both invested in the relationship.

I also agree with whoever mentioned trades. It could be something to check out as trades tend to help with education as well.