Is there anyone else like me? Extrovert v. Introvert

[Andante.Lola]

So my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about my social habits the other day. Now, he is a music teacher and, as such, is rather extroverted. He talks with people all day long and actually really likes and craves social interaction. He tells me that how I function makes basically no sense... but I figure there has to be someone else out there like me.

In general, I consider myself introverted. I value my time alone. After being in a complicated or prolonged social situation, I need to recharge and be alone for awhile...

... but I'm actually most comfortable with public speaking. I can talk in front of a group of people, the bigger the better, about anything all. day. long.

Speaking one-on-one with people, especially people I know, makes me anxious. I do better with strangers or people I know I won't have to see again.

Surely, there's someone else who understands how I feel, right?

[mangachan]

Andante.Lola

So my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about my social habits the other day. Now, he is a music teacher and, as such, is rather extroverted. He talks with people all day long and actually really likes and craves social interaction. He tells me that how I function makes basically no sense... but I figure there has to be someone else out there like me.

In general, I consider myself introverted. I value my time alone. After being in a complicated or prolonged social situation, I need to recharge and be alone for awhile...

... but I'm actually most comfortable with public speaking. I can talk in front of a group of people, the bigger the better, about anything all. day. long.

Speaking one-on-one with people, especially people I know, makes me anxious. I do better with strangers or people I know I won't have to see again.

Surely, there's someone else who understands how I feel, right?

It's normal that he doesn't really "get it" especially if he's only experienced an extroverted way of life. It doesn't make sense to them, half the time it doesn't make sense to us either lol.

I've come to realize that I'm what some would call an introvert. I, like you, am more exhausted with time with people. Social interaction is nice and I learned how to deal with it but it's tiring even if I enjoy the people I'm with. I actually do better with either one-on-one or public speaking. Once I get to know people I'm usually more comfortable with them than strangers.

[falling with the rainbow]

Andante.Lola

That makes a lot of sense. Its easy to talk to a bunch of people because one on one you can see their expressions easier and they can talk back saying things you do not want to hear. I can do one on one if I know the person other wise get the ******** away from me if its just one on one in person.

[Psykeiri]

Yup. I function the same way.

A friend of mine uses the term "ambivert" for that.

I consider myself more of an introvert, though, because I am most relaxed when I'm alone doing my own thing. I love my friends and enjoy being around people, but it's draining.

[legnanellaf5]

You are normal. Introverted does NOT mean you are unable to be social. Many introverted people deal with public speaking situations because they have to, and like hanging out with friends. They just need to recharge.

Same with it is easier to talk to strangers, it is why peole open up online easier than in rl.

[Lost Icyis]

I think the issue is that people tend to think they're either this or that, introverted vs extraverted, but in reality nothing in life is black and white and you can't squeeze an individual into a rigid box. Jung himself (who popularized those terms) made that distinction, and the popular understanding of them is actually somewhat different today than when he described them. Everybody has aspects of both introversion and extraversion in their personality, it's just a matter of which you identify with more.

[Petrograd]

People have a tendency to assume others function the same way they do.

He doesn't need to understand why you function the way you do, but he needs to respect it.

You're a perfectly mildly introverted person; you get your energy from self-time, but like spending some time in social settings.