I've been with my current boyfriend for almost a year. He's very sweet and he tries very hard to do everything he possibly can for me. He insists on telling me every day how madly in love he is with me.
Lately I really haven't been able to feel the same. He seems perfect, but he has some faults too.
Firstly, I cannot stand when he drinks... He has honestly done some very mean things when he has drank. He's yelled at me to the point where I'm reduced to tears, and he's even pushed me once. (Once while he was drinking he got very rough while we were doing some intimate things..)
Secondly, he can be very mean without even drinking. He always snaps back and apologizes profusely and begs me to forgive him, which I usually do. But sometimes I can't believe the things he will say when he is angry.
Thirdly, his jealousy problems are off the scale. Comments on my facebook or a guy friend texting me to say "Hello." He immediately gets upset and begins an argument. Its been so bad to where I've been sleeping and gotten a call at 4AM asking "Who is this guy that commented on your status." ... He also always uses the excuse that his ex girlfriend cheated on him and it changed him. He doesn't listen when I say I've done nothing wrong to be treated so suspiciously.
I'm making it seem like he is all bad, but he really isn't. He does his best to take me on dates, tell me I'm beautiful, make me feel loved and wanted. I care about him, but after all the bad things that have happened I slowly feel myself pulling away and not wanting to be with him anymore.
I tried to break up with him. He immediately got upset and started crying. He started saying things I found sort of manipulative.
"You'll never find a better father for your children than me!"
"You'll never find a man who will love you more or treat you as good as I do!"
etc etc...
I ended up sobbing and not being able to let go, and we're still together.
He makes me happy but completely unhappy at the same time.
And recently for the past week or so... Every night I have dreamed of being with another man in a romantic way. I always wake up feeling guilty and unsure. What should I do?