HELP! I need help,my friend just lost her mother!

[Aklina]

My good friend from dippers just lost her mother, I've never lost someone I was that close to, how can I help her? I'm lost!! Her mother was also someone I was close to, so I'm struggling with my own emotions, can anyone help??? crying crying crying crying

I'm usually very happy and that, but I'm so lost now, and I don't know how to help my friend one bit...

[Psykeiri]

I'm sorry for your and your friend's loss (because it does affect you both). My best friend's dad died years ago too. I cried for him a lot. Just be there for her and try to be strong and supportive when you're in front of her - maybe get her some flowers or something like that when the time is right. When you're not with her, make sure you find some support for yourself.

It's okay to be emotional and upset by this. You're in mourning too. Unfortunately this sort of heartache is not something that can be cured.. it's just a matter of time. Hang in there and be the best friend that you can be.

heart

[Aklina]

Petrosoap

I'm sorry for your and your friend's loss (because it does affect you both). My best friend's dad died years ago too. I cried for him a lot. Just be there for her and try to be strong and supportive when you're in front of her - maybe get her some flowers or something like that when the time is right. When you're not with her, make sure you find some support for yourself.

It's okay to be emotional and upset by this. You're in mourning too. Unfortunately this sort of heartache is not something that can be cured.. it's just a matter of time. Hang in there and be the best friend that you can be.

heart

Thank-you. I had a friend who lost her father too, and I didn't know what to do, and I haven't seen or talked to her since, I tried helping her, but it seemed the more I tried the more disconnected we became...

[Suicidal Dustbunny]

I'm very sorry for your friends and your loss. emotion_hug

It can be very difficult when someone close to us dies, and your feelings of confusion and grief are to be expected. It's perfectly okay for you to have emotions about this, don't feel like you have to bottle anything up, if you need to let it out, do.

As for your friend, she's probably going through a very difficult time right now, and needs you to be there. But don't be upset if she seems withdrawn or uninterested in doing anything with you. Many people who lose a loved one become slightly withdrawn from others, it doesn't mean you've done something wrong, but expect her to be a little distant for a while.

If possible, I suggest doing some nice things for her. People in mourning often forget to look after themselves. Here are some examples of what you could do;
Offer to cook her a nice meal, this way you make sure she's getting good nutrition and isn't forgetting to eat.
Maybe run some errands for her, and make sure she's not falling behind on anything.
Offer to come over and watch a movie / play games with her? Let her know that you're here for her if she needs anything.

Don't be too upset if she rejects these offers though, as I said, sometimes people become withdrawn and don't want others around them after a large loss. This is to be expected, but do let her know that you're here for her when she's ready to talk.

[Aklina]

Suicidal Dustbunny

I'm very sorry for your friends and your loss. emotion_hug

It can be very difficult when someone close to us dies, and your feelings of confusion and grief are to be expected. It's perfectly okay for you to have emotions about this, don't feel like you have to bottle anything up, if you need to let it out, do.

As for your friend, she's probably going through a very difficult time right now, and needs you to be there. But don't be upset if she seems withdrawn or uninterested in doing anything with you. Many people who lose a loved one become slightly withdrawn from others, it doesn't mean you've done something wrong, but expect her to be a little distant for a while.

If possible, I suggest doing some nice things for her. People in mourning often forget to look after themselves. Here are some examples of what you could do;
Offer to cook her a nice meal, this way you make sure she's getting good nutrition and isn't forgetting to eat.
Maybe run some errands for her, and make sure she's not falling behind on anything.
Offer to come over and watch a movie / play games with her? Let her know that you're here for her if she needs anything.

Don't be too upset if she rejects these offers though, as I said, sometimes people become withdrawn and don't want others around them after a large loss. This is to be expected, but do let her know that you're here for her when she's ready to talk.

Thank-you, I'm also struggling because a good years back, while I was a little kid, I had another friend, who lost her dad to cancer, I tried my best to help her, her dad was looking forward to dying, Not to escape but he was a man of faith so he was looking forward to where he was going and that. But in the end my friend moved away, She was like a sister to me too, we were home schooled and her mom took me on as well when my mom was struggling because of what grade I was in. But we were really close, and when they moved No one explained why, I thought it was something I did, or didn't do, I've only talked to her twice since then, and it was hard to connect, I have a fear of that happening with this friend now...

As for helping my friend with loosing her mom, she's staying ad family's now, and my family has offered our home to her and her sister as well. Their not staying at their own home, and I'm sure where their staying, the people'll make sure they eat ant that... I've told her she can call or text me at any time if she needs to talk, and I'll be here for her. I might offer to bring a board game she likes, next time we see her...

[Little Dead Soldier]

It depends on how she is handling it. When my mother died which was just recently, I didn't want to be bothered by anyone for a week or two. However, my sister needed comfort. A lot of my family brought her food. I'm guessing food is something people do for losses, because it did help comfort my sister. Not so much for me.

My point is, everyone deals with lost differently. Your friend might want you around, or she might not. Generally just let her know that you are here for her and help out when she asks.

[Aklina]

Little Dead Soldier

It depends on how she is handling it. When my mother died which was just recently, I didn't want to be bothered by anyone for a week or two. However, my sister needed comfort. A lot of my family brought her food. I'm guessing food is something people do for losses, because it did help comfort my sister. Not so much for me.

My point is, everyone deals with lost differently. Your friend might want you around, or she might not. Generally just let her know that you are here for her and help out when she asks.

Yeah, I'v reassured her as much as I can, and though I haven't seen her in person, I've texted back and forth with her and called and talked to her and that... She's already seen a few of her friends and that... I've told her that I'll be here when she needs, or wants to talk, but if she doesn't than I'll still support her and that... I've thought of bringing cookies or something because that was kinda our thing, but I've also thought of making her fried chicken... But I also don't want to bother her too much...


Her mom was my Aunt, like a second mother to me, and I feel horrible because I've hardly cried, and on the outside, I'm fine. I have problems expressing emotions like this... I cried more when my dog died!!! My parents think I'm a monster... And it's making me more confused on how to help too... Thanks for your insight, and I'm sorry to hear about your mother...

[Suicidal Dustbunny]

Aklina

Suicidal Dustbunny

I'm very sorry for your friends and your loss. emotion_hug

It can be very difficult when someone close to us dies, and your feelings of confusion and grief are to be expected. It's perfectly okay for you to have emotions about this, don't feel like you have to bottle anything up, if you need to let it out, do.

As for your friend, she's probably going through a very difficult time right now, and needs you to be there. But don't be upset if she seems withdrawn or uninterested in doing anything with you. Many people who lose a loved one become slightly withdrawn from others, it doesn't mean you've done something wrong, but expect her to be a little distant for a while.

If possible, I suggest doing some nice things for her. People in mourning often forget to look after themselves. Here are some examples of what you could do;
Offer to cook her a nice meal, this way you make sure she's getting good nutrition and isn't forgetting to eat.
Maybe run some errands for her, and make sure she's not falling behind on anything.
Offer to come over and watch a movie / play games with her? Let her know that you're here for her if she needs anything.

Don't be too upset if she rejects these offers though, as I said, sometimes people become withdrawn and don't want others around them after a large loss. This is to be expected, but do let her know that you're here for her when she's ready to talk.

Thank-you, I'm also struggling because a good years back, while I was a little kid, I had another friend, who lost her dad to cancer, I tried my best to help her, her dad was looking forward to dying, Not to escape but he was a man of faith so he was looking forward to where he was going and that. But in the end my friend moved away, She was like a sister to me too, we were home schooled and her mom took me on as well when my mom was struggling because of what grade I was in. But we were really close, and when they moved No one explained why, I thought it was something I did, or didn't do, I've only talked to her twice since then, and it was hard to connect, I have a fear of that happening with this friend now...

As for helping my friend with loosing her mom, she's staying ad family's now, and my family has offered our home to her and her sister as well. Their not staying at their own home, and I'm sure where their staying, the people'll make sure they eat ant that... I've told her she can call or text me at any time if she needs to talk, and I'll be here for her. I might offer to bring a board game she likes, next time we see her...

Damn, that's heavy :/
If you're feeling particularly affected, remember there are people out there to talk to. Grief councillors and such are trained to help people who are struggling with loss. There's nothing shameful about reaching out to someone for guidance and comfort. smile

Sorry, I didn't realise your friend was far away, that makes all my previous advice kinda pointless sweatdrop
But still so long as you offer a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen, I'm sure she'll appreciate it. even if you're far away you can still show her that you're thinking of her and that you hope she's okay 3nodding
I wish the best of luck to you and your friend, it's hard when someone we love dies, but having people around who understand and can help will do worlds of good, for the both of you.

[29Dreams]

Aklina

My good friend from dippers just lost her mother, I've never lost someone I was that close to, how can I help her? I'm lost!! Her mother was also someone I was close to, so I'm struggling with my own emotions, can anyone help??? crying crying crying crying

I'm usually very happy and that, but I'm so lost now, and I don't know how to help my friend one bit...

I am so sorry that your friend lost her mother. What you can do is be there for her. Let her express her emotions in a healthy way with you. Do little things that would make her happy and tell your friend that her mother is in a good place and is watching out for her somewhere else. I can't even imagine how upset your friend is because I haven't lost a parent so I don't know how much of help I really can be. My best advice is to be there for your friend. Help her cope. Help her get through the stages of her loss. Be a good friend. She needs you.

[shezu]

Don't push at her on it because it won't help and it will constantly remind her more of her loss.

Just tell her once and only once that you will be here for her if she needs you and that if she needs someone to talk to or company or anything from you to just ask because you aren't sure how she wants to deal with her loss right now.
After that just act like how you always have done before the death and just get her mind off it.
Avoid the topic/subject until she is comfortable with the whole thing.

If she wants to talk about it she will since you've already stated you will be there for her if she needs that.
Everyone handles it and deals with death differently.
But the best thing for any person is for you to just keep their mind off of it and think happier things.
She will remain depressed if shes still thinking about it.
So take her out and have some fun and get her mind off of it all. Or play some video games whatever it is shes into.

But the only thing in the end that makes you move forward is time really.
Its only horrible when its fresh.