Polyamory 102: A Support Thread for Consensual Non-Monogamy

New Poll for...awesomeness!

Yay! Awesomeness!	60.0%	[ 357 ]
Yeah...awesome... [/sarcasm]	15.8%	[ 94 ]
[insert your own thoughts here]	24.2%	[ 144 ]
Total Votes:			[ 595 ]

[Chieftain Twilight]

Blackrose_Knight

Chieftain Twilight

I'm glad to hear that you're on your way out of that hellhole. smile and yeah, I agree. if anyone in group has a problem with your life, they can just ******** off because it ain't anything to do with'em. besides, I'm sure that self-righteous hatred won't fly in a support group.

I have to ask... did he have to literally cut it off? like skin and blood? cause somehow, I picture you being that badass. also, I cannot imagine you wearing normal mundane clothe.s in my mind, you are always in pirate garb. xd I dunno why.

Ya, things have changed, and worsened in a way, but not for me thankfully. The moving out process has been sped up. Chryos and I, and the roommate I like are moving out together.

There was a little blood, but no I still have my ring finger. I have very terrible eczema flairs on my hands and fingers. It was February, I was a dishwasher, and that shitstorm caused my eczema to swell my fingers to nearly double their size. My original engagement ring was snipped off with metal cutters by Chryos as I sobbed. I am a big believe in placing meaning in objects (its part of my witchcraft, consider it "enchantment" for lack of a better term). I saved the ring, its been in my jewelry box since Chryos cut it off. Thankfully, I have a resolution for my eczema now - hemp seed oil. Tames it just fine.

Lol I wear mundane clothing most of the time. Today is a jean skirt, and red tank top with a black rose print. 3nodding My traditional wear is jeans, a tank top, a hoodie, and Birkenstocks.

oh, my! I'm glad you have the eczema under control now, but I am so sorry about your ring. I totally get it. I try to avoid attachment to things, but I still respect the meaning behind gifts and symbolic/sentimental value. I had dabbled in Witchcraft as a teenager, and I still like to do my research. I imagine that your wedding band was in some sense a Talisman?

also, one of the roommates is leaving with you? did something happen between them? if this is out of place or private, I apologize.

and also, I edited my post above. I asked about the plushie.

[Blackrose_Knight]

Chieftain Twilight

and also, I edited my post above. I asked about the plushie.

I did! His name is Benny.

Chryos gave him to me when I had a terrible flu.

[Yandere Succubus]

Chieftain Twilight

Wind-Up Puppet

Chieftain Twilight

Wind-Up Puppet

I'm glad I found this thread.

I'm currently courting a couple, and they are both new to the poly scene as am I. They have been dating for 8 years and have only been with each other sexually, so they're looking to change that and also invite someone to be their long term. (Hopefully me)

The girlfriend is totally excited for me to be involved, but we share no romantic feels for each other, just close friends who are happy to be sexual with each other.

I'm in love with the boyfriend who has no romantic feelings for me, but is thumbs up with me sexually and friend wise (He loves his gf too)

I give them both equal amounts of attention, affection, and gifts...even took them both on a date that burned a hole in my wallet (Hadn't expected the bill to be so high...the gf was happy to split the bill, but I paid as I wanted to show I was serious about them.) The gf returns my attention and affection, but the bf....like not at all.

I don't know.

The gf wants to discuss the three of us getting sexual, but the bf just doesn't seem into it...and I communicate with both them about it....both insist he is fine with everything, but due to his indifference and cold but polite nature...I feel unwanted and I also told the gf that I will not force myself onto the bf if he doesn't want me...but he keeps insisting everything is fine.

=( We have a follow up date, but I'm so turned off....especially when I found out the bf can't be sexual with anyone outside his gf...without a few drinks...I empathize with this, but at the same time I'm taking offense....


Thoughts?

it really seems like he's just not into you. which I can understand isn't the plan, and even can feel upsetting... but it doesn't seem like he has a problem with you and your friend being together.

the awkward part I'm noticing is that you are romantically interested in the boyfriend but not the girlfriend, and he's not interested in you. I don't have any real advice on that other than let it be. you can't make someone interested in you who isn't.

that said, the sexual relationship with the girlfriend appears to still be good to go. I think you just have to think about if that's something you really want or not -- a sexual non-romantic relationship with your friend who is dating a man you are romantically interested in who isn't interested in you.

Yes, I can see him not into me, but the plot twist is....to me and the gf's surprise...he is the one who out of the blue said he wouldn't mind having sex with me. I had already thrown in the towel before he said this....so after that is when we went on a date.

Oh, yeah the gf and I are close friends who get sexual with each other, but honestly no romantic feels.

Hmm, to be truly honest....I don't just want one with her, but lucky for me...they said they are a package deal. Its just sucks....the bf just doesn't seem into me....and I don't want to force him

I do wish you the best of luck in this whole thing. and who knows? Love isn't an immediate thing, anyway. smile with neough romancing and screwing, he may fall for you in time. if you each put in the work, magic can happen.

This post for some reason gave me hope. Thank you.

[Chieftain Twilight]

Blackrose_Knight

Chieftain Twilight

and also, I edited my post above. I asked about the plushie.

I did! His name is Benny.

Chryos gave him to me when I had a terrible flu.

that's actually adorable. xd and I'm glad I'm not the only weirdo here who thinks viruses are cute. I'm actually a huge fan of cell biology.

[Chieftain Twilight]

Wind-Up Puppet

Chieftain Twilight

Wind-Up Puppet

Chieftain Twilight

Wind-Up Puppet

I'm glad I found this thread.

I'm currently courting a couple, and they are both new to the poly scene as am I. They have been dating for 8 years and have only been with each other sexually, so they're looking to change that and also invite someone to be their long term. (Hopefully me)

The girlfriend is totally excited for me to be involved, but we share no romantic feels for each other, just close friends who are happy to be sexual with each other.

I'm in love with the boyfriend who has no romantic feelings for me, but is thumbs up with me sexually and friend wise (He loves his gf too)

I give them both equal amounts of attention, affection, and gifts...even took them both on a date that burned a hole in my wallet (Hadn't expected the bill to be so high...the gf was happy to split the bill, but I paid as I wanted to show I was serious about them.) The gf returns my attention and affection, but the bf....like not at all.

I don't know.

The gf wants to discuss the three of us getting sexual, but the bf just doesn't seem into it...and I communicate with both them about it....both insist he is fine with everything, but due to his indifference and cold but polite nature...I feel unwanted and I also told the gf that I will not force myself onto the bf if he doesn't want me...but he keeps insisting everything is fine.

=( We have a follow up date, but I'm so turned off....especially when I found out the bf can't be sexual with anyone outside his gf...without a few drinks...I empathize with this, but at the same time I'm taking offense....


Thoughts?

it really seems like he's just not into you. which I can understand isn't the plan, and even can feel upsetting... but it doesn't seem like he has a problem with you and your friend being together.

the awkward part I'm noticing is that you are romantically interested in the boyfriend but not the girlfriend, and he's not interested in you. I don't have any real advice on that other than let it be. you can't make someone interested in you who isn't.

that said, the sexual relationship with the girlfriend appears to still be good to go. I think you just have to think about if that's something you really want or not -- a sexual non-romantic relationship with your friend who is dating a man you are romantically interested in who isn't interested in you.

Yes, I can see him not into me, but the plot twist is....to me and the gf's surprise...he is the one who out of the blue said he wouldn't mind having sex with me. I had already thrown in the towel before he said this....so after that is when we went on a date.

Oh, yeah the gf and I are close friends who get sexual with each other, but honestly no romantic feels.

Hmm, to be truly honest....I don't just want one with her, but lucky for me...they said they are a package deal. Its just sucks....the bf just doesn't seem into me....and I don't want to force him

I do wish you the best of luck in this whole thing. and who knows? Love isn't an immediate thing, anyway. smile with neough romancing and screwing, he may fall for you in time. if you each put in the work, magic can happen.

This post for some reason gave me hope. Thank you.

my pleasure! smile

[Blackrose_Knight]

Chieftain Twilight

Blackrose_Knight

Chieftain Twilight

and also, I edited my post above. I asked about the plushie.

I did! His name is Benny.

Chryos gave him to me when I had a terrible flu.

that's actually adorable. xd and I'm glad I'm not the only weirdo here who thinks viruses are cute. I'm actually a huge fan of cell biology.

Benny is my plushie I hug when I am sick. I am actually ******** terrified of ebola, so I am doing the whole Batman thing, Chryos thought of it. There is a whole line of those things. Think Geek has a bucketload of 'em.

And I would say yes, my original engagement ring, my second engagement ring and my wedding band all have Talisman like properties to me. Same with the Tiwaz charm M. gave me. It symbolizes my promise to be patient, and stay strong. It symbolizes to him the rekindling of magic in his life. The experiences we have had together have solidified for both of us that "magic" is a real thing and can be done.

In runic readings, when a female draws Tiwaz, its the symbol of a strong male lover that is not her husband. When a male draws it, its the symbol of the Divine Masculine. We found all this out after he sent it to me. Synchronicity like that follow M. and I around.

[Chieftain Twilight]

Blackrose_Knight

Chieftain Twilight

Blackrose_Knight

Chieftain Twilight

and also, I edited my post above. I asked about the plushie.

I did! His name is Benny.

Chryos gave him to me when I had a terrible flu.

that's actually adorable. xd and I'm glad I'm not the only weirdo here who thinks viruses are cute. I'm actually a huge fan of cell biology.

Benny is my plushie I hug when I am sick. I am actually ******** terrified of ebola, so I am doing the whole Batman thing, Chryos thought of it. There is a whole line of those things. Think Geek has a bucketload of 'em.

And I would say yes, my original engagement ring, my second engagement ring and my wedding band all have Talisman like properties to me. Same with the Tiwaz charm M. gave me. It symbolizes my promise to be patient, and stay strong. It symbolizes to him the rekindling of magic in his life. The experiences we have had together have solidified for both of us that "magic" is a real thing and can be done.

In runic readings, when a female draws Tiwaz, its the symbol of a strong male lover that is not her husband. When a male draws it, its the symbol of the Divine Masculine. We found all this out after he sent it to me. Synchronicity like that follow M. and I around.

that's super awesome. I didn't know that little detail about Tiwaz. I feel like there is now alot more about runic reading that I need to research, because I thought I had a pretty good basic understanding. I do have a set of Runes, and I also plan on creating a set of 3 8-sided Rune Dice which each dice having one of the Aetts on it.

I really like the idea of the Batman-esque "use your fear to fight your fear" thing. very nice concept. Bruce Wayne was always one of my favourite superheroes. I dig the non-powered superheros.

personally, I think all the really cool stuff in biology happens at the microbial level anyway. =w=

[MakaBunny]

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

Ok so here I am back again. My issues from before have been happily resolved. So I just want an opinion on this new thing that has been thrown into our relationship. My girlfriend and boyfriend weren't very involved before but now they are which is fine. How ever they are talking about wanting to get spiritually married and I don't know how to take this. Me and him aren't even married so I feel kind of hurt by it in a way. Yet the other part of me know it's only spiritual not legal. Has anyone else ever faced anything like this before?

I've been in a similar situation, and I definitely understand the feeling of hurt. I will say that in my mind, marriage is of teh heart, not a thing on paper. the legal aspect has to do with money and laws and s**t. but the feeling of being connected is what the reall marriage is.

I would suggest talking to them about it. jealousy is a normal feeling, if not altogether healthy. the best way to deal with it is through open communication, and trust. if they love you they will want to include you and treat you with the love and attention that you want, as well. you have to let them know how you feel, and that you just want to make sure that it doesn't mean you mean any less to them.

I hope that helps.

It does help a lot thank you. I have talked to them about this and they first off apologized for hurting me. Which I realize was never their intention. I think I have come to a point where I can maybe deal with them wanting to do the spiritual marriage. Parts of me are still not sure but they have promised to not do anything until we can all fully come to a decision.

[Chieftain Twilight]

MakaBunny

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

Ok so here I am back again. My issues from before have been happily resolved. So I just want an opinion on this new thing that has been thrown into our relationship. My girlfriend and boyfriend weren't very involved before but now they are which is fine. How ever they are talking about wanting to get spiritually married and I don't know how to take this. Me and him aren't even married so I feel kind of hurt by it in a way. Yet the other part of me know it's only spiritual not legal. Has anyone else ever faced anything like this before?

I've been in a similar situation, and I definitely understand the feeling of hurt. I will say that in my mind, marriage is of teh heart, not a thing on paper. the legal aspect has to do with money and laws and s**t. but the feeling of being connected is what the reall marriage is.

I would suggest talking to them about it. jealousy is a normal feeling, if not altogether healthy. the best way to deal with it is through open communication, and trust. if they love you they will want to include you and treat you with the love and attention that you want, as well. you have to let them know how you feel, and that you just want to make sure that it doesn't mean you mean any less to them.

I hope that helps.

It does help a lot thank you. I have talked to them about this and they first off apologized for hurting me. Which I realize was never their intention. I think I have come to a point where I can maybe deal with them wanting to do the spiritual marriage. Parts of me are still not sure but they have promised to not do anything until we can all fully come to a decision.

I wish everyone the best, and a happy life together. smile

[F0X-H0T]

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

Ok so here I am back again. My issues from before have been happily resolved. So I just want an opinion on this new thing that has been thrown into our relationship. My girlfriend and boyfriend weren't very involved before but now they are which is fine. How ever they are talking about wanting to get spiritually married and I don't know how to take this. Me and him aren't even married so I feel kind of hurt by it in a way. Yet the other part of me know it's only spiritual not legal. Has anyone else ever faced anything like this before?

I've been in a similar situation, and I definitely understand the feeling of hurt. I will say that in my mind, marriage is of teh heart, not a thing on paper. the legal aspect has to do with money and laws and s**t. but the feeling of being connected is what the reall marriage is.

I would suggest talking to them about it. jealousy is a normal feeling, if not altogether healthy. the best way to deal with it is through open communication, and trust. if they love you they will want to include you and treat you with the love and attention that you want, as well. you have to let them know how you feel, and that you just want to make sure that it doesn't mean you mean any less to them.

I hope that helps.

It does help a lot thank you. I have talked to them about this and they first off apologized for hurting me. Which I realize was never their intention. I think I have come to a point where I can maybe deal with them wanting to do the spiritual marriage. Parts of me are still not sure but they have promised to not do anything until we can all fully come to a decision.

I wish everyone the best, and a happy life together. smile

wow i have not been here for awile.... so many things have happened.... well i tried to get a girl who led me on and laughed about it later... and the guy that was mine left...found new guy got prego and still looking for that girl...so thanx for the hope CHIEF...

[Grimcess]

wow i havent been here for yonks!

[Chieftain Twilight]

F0X-H0T

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

Ok so here I am back again. My issues from before have been happily resolved. So I just want an opinion on this new thing that has been thrown into our relationship. My girlfriend and boyfriend weren't very involved before but now they are which is fine. How ever they are talking about wanting to get spiritually married and I don't know how to take this. Me and him aren't even married so I feel kind of hurt by it in a way. Yet the other part of me know it's only spiritual not legal. Has anyone else ever faced anything like this before?

I've been in a similar situation, and I definitely understand the feeling of hurt. I will say that in my mind, marriage is of teh heart, not a thing on paper. the legal aspect has to do with money and laws and s**t. but the feeling of being connected is what the reall marriage is.

I would suggest talking to them about it. jealousy is a normal feeling, if not altogether healthy. the best way to deal with it is through open communication, and trust. if they love you they will want to include you and treat you with the love and attention that you want, as well. you have to let them know how you feel, and that you just want to make sure that it doesn't mean you mean any less to them.

I hope that helps.

It does help a lot thank you. I have talked to them about this and they first off apologized for hurting me. Which I realize was never their intention. I think I have come to a point where I can maybe deal with them wanting to do the spiritual marriage. Parts of me are still not sure but they have promised to not do anything until we can all fully come to a decision.

I wish everyone the best, and a happy life together. smile

wow i have not been here for awile.... so many things have happened.... well i tried to get a girl who led me on and laughed about it later... and the guy that was mine left...found new guy got prego and still looking for that girl...so thanx for the hope CHIEF...

not sure how I helped, but I"m glad to have done so! biggrin

[F0X-H0T]

Chieftain Twilight

F0X-H0T

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

Ok so here I am back again. My issues from before have been happily resolved. So I just want an opinion on this new thing that has been thrown into our relationship. My girlfriend and boyfriend weren't very involved before but now they are which is fine. How ever they are talking about wanting to get spiritually married and I don't know how to take this. Me and him aren't even married so I feel kind of hurt by it in a way. Yet the other part of me know it's only spiritual not legal. Has anyone else ever faced anything like this before?

I've been in a similar situation, and I definitely understand the feeling of hurt. I will say that in my mind, marriage is of teh heart, not a thing on paper. the legal aspect has to do with money and laws and s**t. but the feeling of being connected is what the reall marriage is.

I would suggest talking to them about it. jealousy is a normal feeling, if not altogether healthy. the best way to deal with it is through open communication, and trust. if they love you they will want to include you and treat you with the love and attention that you want, as well. you have to let them know how you feel, and that you just want to make sure that it doesn't mean you mean any less to them.

I hope that helps.

It does help a lot thank you. I have talked to them about this and they first off apologized for hurting me. Which I realize was never their intention. I think I have come to a point where I can maybe deal with them wanting to do the spiritual marriage. Parts of me are still not sure but they have promised to not do anything until we can all fully come to a decision.

I wish everyone the best, and a happy life together. smile

wow i have not been here for awile.... so many things have happened.... well i tried to get a girl who led me on and laughed about it later... and the guy that was mine left...found new guy got prego and still looking for that girl...so thanx for the hope CHIEF...

not sure how I helped, but I"m glad to have done so! biggrin

Whom can explain that saying good morning to a lover or being told I love you... Makes people happy when someone wants and wishes you good.. Whom accepts... Happyness is what I want and I believe everyone deserves to be no matter what kind of relation ship... To wish happiness makes me feel i am not the only one.
.

[LittleSpaceCase]

My boyfriend and I have an open relationship, though neither of us takes advantage of it very often. Rules are just to ask the other for permission before each encounter. *shrug*

Not a big deal, it's nice to know the option is there.

[Chieftain Twilight]

F0X-H0T

Chieftain Twilight

F0X-H0T

Chieftain Twilight

MakaBunny

It does help a lot thank you. I have talked to them about this and they first off apologized for hurting me. Which I realize was never their intention. I think I have come to a point where I can maybe deal with them wanting to do the spiritual marriage. Parts of me are still not sure but they have promised to not do anything until we can all fully come to a decision.

I wish everyone the best, and a happy life together. smile

wow i have not been here for awile.... so many things have happened.... well i tried to get a girl who led me on and laughed about it later... and the guy that was mine left...found new guy got prego and still looking for that girl...so thanx for the hope CHIEF...

not sure how I helped, but I"m glad to have done so! biggrin

Whom can explain that saying good morning to a lover or being told I love you... Makes people happy when someone wants and wishes you good.. Whom accepts... Happyness is what I want and I believe everyone deserves to be no matter what kind of relation ship... To wish happiness makes me feel i am not the only one.
.

I actually understand that completely. and I agree, it's the most fulfilling feeling in the world.