maybe melody
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Sat, 08 Dec 2007 01:32:22 +0000
I've never felt so miserable or alone in my life.
I've always had friends that I could talk to, and that could understand me.
All of those friends have lost contact with me.
I also had a bit of a falling out around February of this year.
I only have about 2 people that I know would really truly care about me.
I try to make friends, I try to be outgoing and nice.
Everytime I start a conversation I feel like the person I'm talking to has no intrest in me whatsoever, and then it just ends up in an extremely akward silence.
People hate me for no reason, they sit and make fun of me, call me ugly, and say my nose is too big.
I know I'm not beautiuful, but I'm not terribly unattractive. I've always been average.
I can't stand how people from my classes make fun of me, jokingly. And they act like they've known me my whole life, they call me stupid, and they joke about it. Usually it dosen't bother me, but day after day, it really gets to you.
I feel so miserable. Here I am typing this, sobbing. It's bad to be alone, but it's worse to feel like nobody will ever understand a single thought in your head.
I've never really felt like I have a purpose or belonged anywhere.
I've been like this for a while, and I thought it would get better, maybe just one of those short-lived phases.
But I just can't take this.
I can't seem to get rid of this feeling.
I have always relied on myself, and I knew if I thought about something for a while, the answer would come to me.
This is one thing that I cannot figure out.
I really need some help.
I've always had friends that I could talk to, and that could understand me.
All of those friends have lost contact with me.
I also had a bit of a falling out around February of this year.
I only have about 2 people that I know would really truly care about me.
I try to make friends, I try to be outgoing and nice.
Everytime I start a conversation I feel like the person I'm talking to has no intrest in me whatsoever, and then it just ends up in an extremely akward silence.
People hate me for no reason, they sit and make fun of me, call me ugly, and say my nose is too big.
I know I'm not beautiuful, but I'm not terribly unattractive. I've always been average.
I can't stand how people from my classes make fun of me, jokingly. And they act like they've known me my whole life, they call me stupid, and they joke about it. Usually it dosen't bother me, but day after day, it really gets to you.
I feel so miserable. Here I am typing this, sobbing. It's bad to be alone, but it's worse to feel like nobody will ever understand a single thought in your head.
I've never really felt like I have a purpose or belonged anywhere.
I've been like this for a while, and I thought it would get better, maybe just one of those short-lived phases.
But I just can't take this.
I can't seem to get rid of this feeling.
I have always relied on myself, and I knew if I thought about something for a while, the answer would come to me.
This is one thing that I cannot figure out.
I really need some help.