Friends with Benefits???

[Lady Hamlet]

I'm curious what gaia thinks of the concept. Wheather or not its...i dunno. Moral? Good?

Part of me is just generally curious as to the popular view. In case you don't know Friends with benefits is a term for friends who are not a couple or dating but are reaping the other benefits...like teh sex...


***
I will be honest and tell my story now:
I pulled a bestfriend --> boyfriend --> tragic heartbreaking him dumping me --> best friends forever

not the best idea...but while we haven't gotten all the way to the benefits...we have gotten close...and i am not sure weather or not that is right. I'm not over him, i am still crazy about him...but i don't want to lose him as a bestfriend if having benifits ruins it. Even if my body really...really misses him...and my head too. im not just sex crazy. But i'm not quite sure. I mean it would be fun...it would be a great release for both of it...i do think it would lead to me wanting a relationship with him again and he doesn't want that.

GAIA I DEMAND YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!

[Mysterious Drifter]

Friends with benefits are never beneficial.

What do you get out of it?

[August-Molotov]

I think it's just setting yourself up to get hurt.

[Illusional Mindset]

The whole 'friends with benefits' concept sure as hell isn't moral, but it is very fun and umm pleasuring? xp I've had a relationship like that but then the guy wanted a real relationship, and I'm like sure. However, I dumped him after a while because he really wasn't too great in bed, and I broke his heart. I suggest not getting involved in a 'friends with benefits' relationship if you still have feelings for him. In the long run, it might make you more sad and leave you longing for him even more than if you try to let it go. Buy hey, if you would rather have him in your pants, I can't say I blame you.

[maronne de blays]

My dramatic foil does it. A lot. In fact, I'm pretty sure the number of friends with whom he has benefits is greater than the number of friends there are no benefits with. The problem? He's really good in bed, a great lay, but, frankly, most people don't like him outside of that context. He gets used a lot by girls and tries to delude himself that he's making an emotional connection with them when he puts his p***s in their v****a. He also admits that he'd rather be in a long-term exclusive relationship, but he just "can't find the right girl". Then again, he also has crazy amounts of problems.

I, personally, could never do it. Then again, I attach a huge meaning to sex, and I don't really judge people for doing it. If it's your thing, go for it. I don't think it's inherently moral or immoral. We just have different ideas.

I will say, thought, that I've never seen it happen in any way other than this:

Friends with benefits--> one friend gets a real SO ---> friendship ends.
Friends with benefits --> both develop real emotional feelings ---> friendship becomes a relationship.

[Dekaff L Hatta]

You can't be friends with benefits with someone you have a romantic past with, it's just not possible.

[Illusional Mindset]

Mysterious Drifter

Friends with benefits are never beneficial.

What do you get out of it?

Sexual pleasure. Duh.

[WereRetty]

I don't see the problem with it unless someone develops feelings that the other doesn't return. Not morally wrong in my eyes at all. No one is being harmed so I don't see why it should be.

[lotus182]

isn't ging to work out too well

[Dekaff L Hatta]

Illusional Mindset

Mysterious Drifter

Friends with benefits are never beneficial.

What do you get out of it?

Sexual pleasure. Duh.

Amen!

[Siouxicide]

I don't find it moral or immoral. If consent is there, who's to say what's immoral? I just know that it generally doesn't work. Usually one party is more invested in the relationship than the other and wants more than casual sex. And if even that's not the case, someone will always find another person they want to date and will end the "benefits" to have a better chance. In summary, it usually never ends well, but if you're willing to put up with that, there's a few great nights in it for you!

[Micamino]

As long you don't confuse what "friends with benefits" means... then you both win. I've done it, great times.

[m e o w p a r f a i t]

I think it's okay, though I don't think i'd ever do it myself

i'm just jaded by my boyfriend to think that way~

[Lady Hamlet]

hum...

see i guess a lot of it is i don't know wheather my heart feels for him or my body feels for him...your probably all right that if i still have feelings for him I shouldn't be persuing him. If he started seeing someone...i know i would be crushed...and i don't think it would lead to him wanting to be in a real relationship with me...so i probably shouldn't do this....

thanks everyone.

Carry on the discussions though, i posted this in LD instead of LI cause i was generally curious what people thought. I know a lot of people really believe sex should only be for people you love or your soul mate. Heck, i believed that untill this boy dumped me anyways...so yah.

[Miss isabutt]

ive had a relationship similar to that, it was very hurtful though because he was my ex and i still liked him,well we stopped being friends with benefits but im with him right now so its all good now cool
ill never do that again though:/