Blood Begets Blood (1x1) [Currently Abandoned]

[Chive It Up]

Alexander liked to hear that everything had gone without complications. This was, after all, his first born. Perhaps after the first one or two, he'd stop worrying so much about everything, but it's well being was his primary concern at the moment. That and the mother's well being. Of course, Annalise was the one person he cared for in this world. The one person he would do absolutely anything for. He could imagine, of course, that when his child arrived, that would shift.

Annalise said that he would be the first one to hold the babe and kiss it, to tell it that he loved it, and he had to grin at the idea. Usually, men were not present at the birth of their children. But that was because such things were born out of necessity and duty. This child was to be the product of love. It was entirely different. He wanted to be there with Annalise, to hold her hand and kiss her forehead as she went through everything. If she wanted him there, of course.

“I wish I had been there when you'd found out,” Alexander told her quietly, “I hate that you were.. alone during the beginning. I've understood that it's one of the more difficult times. Certainly would be an adjustment. And then to think I wasn't there..” he trailed off. But then after a brief moment of silence, he looked up to her and smiled. “But you are right. I intend to be there for every moment that I can. Until they are married off and waiting for children of their own.”

Pushing himself up to a sitting position, he let out a quiet sigh. “Food. Ah, sometimes I forget I need to eat. Especially when I have more interesting things to distract me with. Food seems less important.” Slipping out of the bed, he moved over to find his britches, pulling them up and tying them around his waist. “Tomorrow.. I'll start the planning for the wedding. I want this whole thing finished with as soon as possible. Of course, we'll have to tell my mother about the baby. She'll be glad to hear I'm to be married and I've already fathered a child. Of course, the only other thing she nags at me about is my uncle but.. well, I can't see any reason to keep him around, now.” Turning to look at her he grinned widely. “I can't express how happy you've made me today.” Oh, Alex felt like a different man, now.

- - - -

Yes, perhaps they both wanted to see the other happy. But they did not want the same things. Not out of life. It was going to be a constant cause of strife in their life, Carlotta imagined. She only hoped that Theodore did not resent her or their child once it was born. That would only.. make things so much worse. At least for her emotional state.

“Yes, I know,” she said quietly, running her fingers through her husbands hair as he kissed her shoulder. Carlotta let out a content sigh at the affection, truly feeling loved in that moment. She would have loved to have her husband beneath her this evening, but he was tired.. she could see that.. and truthfully she wasn't feeling up to the act at that exact moment. But her moods were changeable, especially when it came to her desires. “You've done so much for me, Theo.. I notice that and I do appreciate it. I should thank you more often but I.. I suppose I have difficulty properly expressing my thoughts to you.”

[Oh For The Love of Cod]

тнεσ∂σяε яσтнεмвυяg ||| αηηαℓιsε ℓσcкε∂αу

ＬＯＶＥ ＩＳ ＮＯＴ ＥＮＯＵＧＨ

tab Indeed, today was a jubilant day for the both of them. Annalise couldn't recall ever feeling better in her life. The thought of telling his mother about the pregnancy and marriage was a little nerve wracking, of course, but Annalise thought the woman was kind enough. At least, the Queen Dowager had been kind to Annalise's face. Annalise had no idea if the older woman had said crude and nasty things behind her back when she was away. She supposed it didn't really matter. Alexander was going to marry Annalise no matter what; that was something he made plainly obvious. And now that she was carrying his child, she was secured in his court. He would never forsake her, and he would make her his wife if it was the last thing he did.

It wasn't long before the reunited couple sat down to take their evening repast. It was a little later than usual, due to their occupied states earlier. Oh, it was good to have some food in her belly! Being pregnant made Annalise quite voracious, and she was already starting to get cravings for certain things. Candied fruit peels were her main craving, and she killed off an entire of dish of them at dinner. Part of her was embarrassed, but people had to understand, and surely Alexander did. She was pregnant, and pregnant women were allowed to overeat, for they were feeding two. Men would never understand that feeling. And not only did Annalise crave candied fruit peels, but she craved loads of bread slathered in salty butter. It was all unhealthy, really, but she couldn't help it.

Annalise swallowed her mouthful of chicken and washed it down with milk. That, too, she craved. Ugh, she'd never eaten so much before in her life! This child would make her portly and ugly, but she wasn't even concerned with it. No, she only cared about tossing food down her gullet, and so that's what she continued to do. She grabbed up a handful of almonds and began to pop those into her mouth one at a time, throwing in a grape every now and again. She was voraginous, indeed! Would there be an end to her consumption? Eventually, yes. But that time was not now.

"Alex," Annalise whined, leaning her head back on her chair and closing her eyes. She dropped an orange slice into her mouth. "I can't stop eating. You'll grow displeased with my figure. You'll take a mistress. I'll die alone and corpulent," she pouted, looking down at her stomach to give it a caress. "It's your fault," she told it, then changed her mind. "It's yours," she directed to Alexander, pointing a finger at him. "You did this to me! Why couldn't you have pulled out!?" Oh, poor Alexander. Pregnant mood swings were never any fun for anyone. "I hate you. I don't want to sleep in your room tonight. I want Virginie and Lola to prepare my old chambers, and I want you to stay out of them. Just leave me alone. You've already done enough harm," she growled, huffing and shoving a chunk of bread into her mouth.






Theodore pulled back to look down at his lovely wife. His hands came up to caress and cup her face ere he kissed her forehead, nose, and mouth. He pulled her back into his embrace and trailed his fingers down her bumpy spine. "Just stop talking, Carlotta," Theodore murmured. "Just..." he trailed off to lay back down, cradling his wife against him. "Lie here with me. That's all." It was enough for him to know she was appreciative of what he did for her, and now he just wanted silence.






_______________

[Chive It Up]

Alexander really and honestly didn't think too much of her eating habits at the current point in time. Yes, she was eating more than normal. Yes, he had taken note of this. But he really didn't find it bothersome. Wasn't that what pregnant women did? At least, he was under the impression they ate a good deal. Perhaps Annalise just had an overactive appetite at this point in the child's growth. Perhaps the food during her travels here had been less than delicious. Perhaps she'd worked up a good hunger after all of their activities in bed.

Whatever the case was, when Annalise first said his name, he looked up to her, and when she continued as to why she was whining, all he did was smirk in amusement. He continued chewing his food, intending on speaking with her once he'd swallowed it, but Annalise hadn't stopped speaking. Not long enough to allow him to offer his opinion on the matter. She accused him of taking a mistress once she got too large, and that it was all his fault that she was like this. That he should have pulled out and not gotten her pregnant in the first place. And then, finally, that she hated him and didn't want to sleep in his room at all tonight.

Well. Alexander found himself staring at her in complete disbelief for a moment before he found his tongue and managed to force it to speak. Even then, he wasn't sure if she was teasing or joking, or if she was being completely serious. “First of all, darling, I will have no mistress. I didn't take another woman for the past four months, after you swore you hated me and didn't want me any longer.. why would I take another woman once you're swollen with our child?” he asked her with a smile, not at all taking it in a serious tone. “Now, if you get a little plump from all this, I won't mind one bit. You'll still be you, and I'll still find you beautiful.”

“And I didn't pull out because I wanted a child. I was.. well, I assumed you were going to marry me the first time we'd talked about it.. and not abandon me. I was only trying to.. get a head start on this child. And I do apologize for that, had I known things would have gone the way they had.. perhaps I might have.” Though when Alexander thought about it, he wasn't sure how much of her returning to him was influenced by her being pregnant. Perhaps if she'd not been pregnant, she would have stayed in Penwood and denied him. It didn't matter, though, because the past couldn't be changed.

“And lastly, no one has told Virginia and Lola that you're back yet. At least, I don't believe so. They're likely in their own rooms, resting for the night. You wouldn't bother them so late, would you? Kenley has gone to bed too. No one will be there with you. And I'd much rather you stay here with me.. I've missed being able to hold you at night.” Alexander gave her one final smile before turning to his plate and spearing a piece of chicken with his fork. “Besides, I don't believe I can do any more harm, darling.”

- - - -

Carlotta stopped talking. Not only because her husband asked him too, but because she would much rather just lay with him and be held by him, and know that he loved her from it. Of course, she would have loved to continue to talk, to speak of many things about their future, but for now...

Curled up against Theodore, she closed her eyes, one hand resting upon his chest, tracing lines upon his chest, the other resting on her own stomach, hoping the pregnancy was not difficult, since she would be enduring it without him. Oh, she just hoped beyond hope that when Theodore returned back from this work on the seas as he planned, that he loved the child she'd brought into the world. It might kill her to imagine he wouldn't love it.

[Oh For The Love of Cod]

тнεσ∂σяε яσтнεмвυяg ||| αηηαℓιsε ℓσcкε∂αу

ＬＯＶＥ ＩＳ ＮＯＴ ＥＮＯＵＧＨ

tab Annalise sat with her jaw clenched and her arms crossed like a petulant child. She refused to look at Alexander as he spoke to her, and her hormonal imbalances were making everything he said sound like a lie. Why would any man in his right mind want to stay with a woman who had a bulbous girth? How could a man find that beautiful? Annalise was going to grow ugly and she was never going to be lovely again. Alexander would indeed take a mistress, and he would hate Annalise. That's what she thought, anyway. And she didn't want to hear how he intentionally got her pregnant. He was blaming her for this! Saying if she'd made it known she would leave him, he would have allowed her to keep her figure! Well, how was she supposed to know she'd be unhappy!? How was she supposed to know she was being bamboozled into pregnancy!? To top it all off, he said he wanted her to stay in his room tonight.

Angrily, Annalise shoved away from the table and stood up, grabbing a handful of almonds and chucking them across the table at her fiance. "Lies! I'm going to be ugly and sloppy and you'll hate me! And how dare you blame me for this pregnancy! It's your fault! A warning would have been nice about your intentions! You didn't even ask me if I wanted to be pregnant," she trailed off into tears, turning away from the table with her hands over her face. "I'm tired of doing what you want! Can't you just go away?!" she cried, her voice muffled by her hands. "I hate you so much, Alex!" she seethed, throwing a teary glare at him. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you," she said meanly.

Stomping off towards the door, Annalise flung it open and slammed it closed behind her. These sorts of moods had gradually started showing themselves in her life once she started growing and going through all these hormonal roller coasters. Half the time she wasn't even aware she was being ridiculous. Alexis had to deal with a few stubborn and cruel swings, as did her family members. Her uncle and aunt, mother and father, and Tellie and Thomas never felt threatened or upset by them because they had all come in contact with those sorts of swings already. They knew what was causing them, knew nothing Annalise said was honest, and they just let her say and do whatever until she came out of it and resumed being civil.

Annalise marched off a few paces down the hall before she came to a stop and wiped her face on her sleeve with a sigh. Giving a few sniffles, she began to feel the swing happening again, this time to a normal state of mind. Her emotions came down from their swell and settled out, leaving her feeling idiotic and sorry. Dear Lord... were these going to get progressively worse?






_______________

[Chive It Up]

Alexander had no idea where all of this was coming from, but he found himself sitting perfectly still and staring off at Annalise as she stood and threw a handful of almonds at him. They bounced off the wooden table harmlessly. But their effect was more psychological. The woman he loved stood there yelling at him and telling him that he was lying to her, that he was blaming her for the pregnancy (which he most certainly was not), that she was tired of doing what he wants, and worst of all, that she hated him.

What had happened? Where had the woman he'd just made passionate love to gone? She hated him? What had he done wrong? Okay, perhaps he hadn't asked her if she wanted to have a child, but surely she understood his reasoning for seeking out a wife in the first place. He needed to have an heir, a successor, and he'd thought they were getting married. She'd never stopped him or mentioned that she didn't want to have a child yet. Surely after the first time, if she'd had a problem, she would have mentioned it?

“A-Anna, wait,” he told her, standing with the intention of stopping her but she was already slamming the door closed behind her. With a frustrated huff, he collapsed into his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. He was, well, hopelessly and utterly confused. He supposed he should apologize for getting her pregnant in the first place, but he didn't really see that he'd done anything wrong. But clearly, she was upset.

Or was she? God, was this just the pregnancy that was making her crazy? Did she really have those thoughts and feelings buried deep inside of her? That her pregnancy was just making her a bit loose with her tongue? Previously, Annalise had always run off because she'd needed space. But she'd not even been here a half of a day. She'd always been easily changeable but this... god, could he live like this for five more months?

Pushing himself from his chair, he swept out of the room and into the hall, one of the guards outside of his door motioning with his head the direction in which Annalise had gone in. Alexander hurried off to her side, seeing as she was just standing in the hall. She was crying, or, quietly sniffling. He just pulled her into a hug and held her tightly. Gently kissing the top of her head, “Anna, come now, I'm sorry if I've upset you.. but come back into the room.. we can talk in private there,” he whispered to her, “I never meant to hurt you, darling. Never.”

- - - -

As if Thomas didn't feel his relationship was rocky to begin with, Olive was a vicious beast when she was pregnant. He was already walking on eggshells around her in order to keep their relationship in a good place, and now... well, she was pushing him. Olive had thrown him out of the house a few times for just.. looking at her funny, he guessed. He didn't ask. He'd go to the shop and give her some space and come home later. She was usually calmed down by then. What else was he supposed to do?

Now, Thomas was reclined by the fireplace, eyes closed, rocking himself back and forth. He was tired. So exhausted. Tomorrow, he needed to finish the nursery. The family cradle had been given to Benjamin and Versie, which was fine, that seemed right to him. Benjamin was Oliver's son. It just meant that Thomas had to spend money on a new one. He had the coin, it wasn't a problem. They had plenty of coin. Business was doing well.

“Olive, my sweet,” he called with a smile, pushing himself up from the chair, “Do you want me to clean up the kitchen from supper?” Probably, but he didn't want to step on her toes.

[Oh For The Love of Cod]

тнεσ∂σяε яσтнεмвυяg ||| αηηαℓιsε ℓσcкε∂αу

ＬＯＶＥ ＩＳ ＮＯＴ ＥＮＯＵＧＨ

tab Annalise turned readily into Alexander's chest, slipping her arms about him. She rested her head upon his chest and let out a long sigh. This was driving her insane. These mood swings had to stop, but she knew they wouldn't until this baby was out of her. Apparently, both Mina and Lily had suffered the emotional rides during their pregnancies. Versie too, but Benjamin never commented if she was terrible to deal with or not. It seemed impossible that Versie could utter a cruel word to anyone, even while under the influence of pregnancy woes. Annalise wasn't the only woman who had these snaps and spells, though, so at least she had the comfort. This was normal, but Annalise felt it was anything but. Oh, she felt so bad for Alexander. She couldn't control her emotions right now, and who knew what she'd say to him in the future?

"No, Alex, you have done nothing wrong," Annalise assured him, pulling back to look up at him. "I'm sorry... it's... the pregnancy. Mood swings are apparently a free gift with the package," she said woefully. "I didn't mean anything I said, and I advise you to just ignore me in the future. Please, don't take anything I say to heart when I get like that. I don't understand what's going on in my body that's... making this happen, but it's not going to stop until I have the baby. I'm so sorry..." she said again, shaking her head. "Come on. Let's go back inside."

Annalise tugged Alexander by the hand, leading him back into the room. She released his hand and walked over to a fainting couch, lowering herself upon it and lying down. At long last, she was no longer hungry and could rest for a while. Dear lord, she was only four months into this pregnancy and all of this was already driving her up a wall. How long would it take before she went mad? At the rate this was going, not long.






Olive was six months pregnant, and she was very pregnant. The child growing within her was likely a boy. No sweet little girl could be this large and strong. It was an active and strong child, to be sure. It kicked a lot, turned itself around, caused its mother grief. Whenever it rolled around, Olive got very little rest, but it wasn't painful. It was beautiful, really, to feel her baby alive and moving inside of her. When it kicked, however, depending on how rough it was, she was in pain. Sometimes it was gentle, just a mere brushing of its tiny foot against her. Pain or no pain, Olive was happy to feel every movement of her baby. It meant it was healthy and well, strong and ready for life. She'd wanted a child for so long, and she'd given up hope. This baby truly was a miracle baby, a child sent from God. Perhaps it was a reward for her good life so far, her kind heart and her faithfulness.

While being pregnant had its fun bits, it was also a menace. Olive was irritable and volatile, her moods extreme. It was like flipping a coin how many times her moods shifted. A lot of the time she was angry or sorely depressed about something or another, and others she was relaxed and friendly, even touched by desire. Just like any pregnant woman, Olive had days when she desperately needed Thomas and days when she would rather skin him alive for even trying to kiss her. When she was in her usual state of mind, she felt sorry for her husband. He'd been so good these past months, honestly trying to prove to her that he loved her and was so sorry for how he treated her in the past. He'd not gone out and been promiscuous for the longest time, and Olive was slowly letting him back in, though her hesitation was ever present.

After a decent meal in her stomach, Olive was feeling calm and collected. The child was still and quiet, giving her a break from everything. She heard Thomas's call from the living room and glanced around the kitchen. Well. She'd already cleaned everything up, it seemed. There was nothing for him to do, really. It was nice, though, to have him do for her whatever she asked. She didn't ever have to overexert herself, or even exert herself at all. Thomas was always ready to help her, always ready to make sure she was safe and comfortable. Really, she did love him.

Olive wiped her hands on a rag before waddling out of the kitchen and entering the living room. Her husband was lounging near the fire, and she offered him a small smile. "No, Thomas, I've already cleaned up, thank you," she told him, her hands absently rubbing her stomach. "You could start a bath for me, though. I could use the hot water for my back. Dreadful business..." she winced, pressing a hand to her back and slowly making her way towards the bedroom.






_______________

[Chive It Up]

Mood swings? Well, Alexander supposed it was something that happened to women during their pregnancies, but he wasn't quite certain why Annalise was so volatile with hers. Were other women like this? He wasn't sure. He would have to speak with Smith or his mother or someone else who had a wife who'd had a child. Alexander could only imagine how terrible it must have been if his mother had treated his father, the King, in such a way. Or, god forbid, Annalise's mother, Willowmina treating her husband. Those two were hardened mercenaries. That had the potential to turn deadly.

“Hush, hush..” he told her quietly, “It's all right my love,” he whispered to her with a smile as she apologized for her outburst. Even if it was the pregnancy making her say those terrible things, Alexander couldn't help but wonder if there was some truth in them.

But it seemed they would discuss it another time, because as Annalise pulled him into the room, she released him to go lie down on the fainting couch. At first, the King was just content to watch his beautiful woman recline back. Everything was going to be all right. They were going to be together, now. They were going to get married. They were going to have a child. The only problem was that Annalise was going to be prone to explosive outbursts for a short while. Hopefully they weren't so... hurtful in the future.

“Anna, why don't we go to bed then, darling? You've had a tiring day, no thanks to me,” approaching her, he offered a smile, “Shall I carry you?”

Tomorrow, Alexander knew he would be terribly busy. He had to make sure that everything was taken care of in order for the two of them to be married. He would have to send both his uncle and the Princess Isabella to their respective homes. He would have to meet with his mother and inform her of the wonderful news, though she would likely have heard before he could even tell her. No, tonight they would have to relax while they had the opportunity.

- - - -

Thomas looked up as his wife entered. Every time he saw her, with that pregnant stomach and that small little waddle, he couldn't stop from grinning to himself. She was pregnant. God above, it had finally happened. Even at this point, it amazed him. Thomas found himself on the verge of getting angry or irritated about things at time, and then he was reminded of how absolutely and positively blessed he'd been this year.

Theodore was gone, of course, so that was a sad point of his life. He'd cared for his brother dearly, even if the man hadn't been the best person in his life. But other than his brother's leaving and his biological father passing, this year had been the greatest of his life. The turmoil in his marriage had reminded him of how precious it truly was, and how much he loved Olive. How much better she deserved from him and everyone else. She'd given him another chance when he'd certainly deserved nothing. She was a saint, for certain. No one else would have given him such an opportunity.

And least of all, he was expecting a child. All signs pointed to a boy. At least, that's what everyone said. Thomas could only hope and pray. He needed a son to carry on the Forney line, to inherit his business, to inherit his wife's family's business. He would have loved to have two children, but at the point in his life, he knew another child was out of the question. God had blessed them with one child. Just one. Olive was past the days where she should be bearing a child, and Thomas knew this would be the only child they ever had.

These were all of the reasons that he permitted himself to be ordered around. Why he would wait on his wife hand and foot and take every vicious word she spouted at him and allow it to deflect off of him. Olive could have had anything she wanted in this world. He would have given her anything, if only because she was giving him the one thing he'd wanted more than anything in his life. He hoped he would be a good father.

“Yes,” Thomas told her, with a nod, moving off to complete the task assigned to him. Water. Hot water for a bath. He'd taken the bucket, hurried off to retrieve the water, and filled the pot over the hearth. Once that was done, all he could do was wait for the water, so he went out in search of his wife. He found her reclining in the bedroom. Her poor back had been giving her trouble. She was older than most new mothers, so that might have had some impact on it.

“You're almost there, Olive,” he reminded her with a grin, “Just the last few weeks, now. Then all that exhausting work will pay off.”

[Oh For The Love of Cod]

тнεσ∂σяε яσтнεмвυяg ||| αηηαℓιsε ℓσcкε∂αу

ＬＯＶＥ ＩＳ ＮＯＴ ＥＮＯＵＧＨ

tab Annalise didn't mean anything she said to Alexander, and she hoped he knew that. Her words were merely spouted off without reason, just a string of thoughts that had no substance or basis. Of course Alexander wouldn't desert her for a mistress. He'd been faithful to her even after he thought she hated him and would never come back. Of course he wouldn't hate her. It was painfully obvious how much he loved her. Of course she wasn't upset about the pregnancy. Annalise was happy, delighted, so excited about this baby. It was the best thing to happen to her in her life. Yes, she was a little scared, but all new mothers were. Of course she didn't hate Alexander. He was her favorite person, after her father, of course. Alexander was the man she loved so very much. Life had been terrible without him.

Alexander came near the couch and suggested they go to bed. It was early, too early for bed. They'd just had dinner, then again... they'd taken that later than usual. Maybe it was late enough for bed. Annalise's body was certainly interested in sleep, and who could blame it? She'd given herself over to Alexander after four months of separation. It was no surprise that their love making was hungry and vigorous. Being pregnant, that was a strain on her weakened physical state. Annalise had overexerted herself, and now she had a full stomach. The woman was simply tired, and no words could really express her exhaustion.

With a quiet chuckle, Annalise sat up on the couch and then stood, holding her arms up with a little smirk. "If it be thy wish to carry me to thy bedchamber, I shan't impede thee," she purred. Ah, what a complete three-sixty of emotions.





Olive laid down on her side of the bed propped up by pillows. There was a dull ache in her lower back, and it was due to the weight being carried at her front. A large baby that would only get larger, fuller breasts prepared to give the child nourishment, and the overall gain of some pounds thanks to eating for two. Olive was already a voluptuous woman with curves in every right place, hips perfect for child bearing, and shapely legs that weren't too long or too stubby. She was older than Thomas but she was much shorter, standing only at an average of five feet five inches. Maybe it was six inches. She didn't care enough to measure herself. Point being, she was a woman who had what a man wanted: squeezability. She was soft and lovely.

Whilst laying on the bed and waiting for the bath, the child within her decided to roll. It had been slumbering for the past few hours, and now it seemed to be awakening. Her entire stomach shifted with its movement, and I mean visibly. She watched her belly as it moved and then settled, and then it began to stretch its legs, pushing against her insides. It didn't hurt, not at all. Olive smiled lovingly at the globe and began to rub the places where she felt it touching. The slight pressure she applied gave the child a way to target her, and it gave a kick at her hand, one that caused her to wince. Ah, well, fine! She'd leave it alone, then. Little brat.

Sighing, Olive closed her eyes. But no sooner did she let them fall shut, Thomas was entering the room and attempting to speak to her. Olive opened her eyes and focused them on her husband's handsome face. He was so excited for this child. It warmed her. She had no doubts he would be a wonderful father. Perhaps he hadn't been the best husband, but he would surely do well as a papa.

"A few weeks?" Olive asked incredulously. "Thomas, I've got three months left. That's roughly twelve weeks, and I hardly think that's a few," she said, huffing as she sat herself up on the edge of the bed, a hand pressed to her girth. "Help me get out of this dress, will you?"






_______________

[Chive It Up]

Oh, Anna. She was, at her core, a young woman who wasn't even gentry. And that was everything that made him love her. It was so funny to imagine that Alexander was willingly allowing himself to be treated in the manner in which he was. No other person in England would dream of speaking to him or treating him like Anna did. Not that she treated him poorly, of course, but that she was so easy around him. With Annalise, there was no pretense. Sometimes, he was even able to forget that he was the King of England.

“It would be my honor, my lady,” he told her with a formal bow and a wide roguish grin. Stepping over towards the lounge, he stooped down in order to take her in his arms, clutching her close to his chest as he walked. Alexander didn't do much heavy lifting, and thankfully Annalise didn't way too much. He didn't ever anticipate being unable to carry her, either.

Were there ever a King and a Queen so much in love? No, likely not. Monarchs didn't marry for love. Perhaps they grew to love one another after they were married, but likely never like this. Annalise and Alexander had something truly unique. He was willing to go to the edge of the Earth for her. And he knew that their relationship would be difficult for other people to understand.

Once he reached the bed, Alexander carefully laid her down upon it, still smiling. “There you are, my darling. Now the two of you get some rest. You deserve it.” Moving to the foot of the bed, he began to undress himself again to prepare for bed. No, it may have been a bit early to sleep, but he could think of no where he'd rather be than in bed with Annalise. “Tomorrow will likely be rather busy, love. There are so many things that need to be done.”

- - - -

“You're right,” he said with a shake of his head, “I wasn't thinking, I suppose. Well, it's more than halfway over, at least,” he added. Though the second half of the pregnancy was likely the more difficult part. She was too big to do too much, she was sore and tired.. oh, he shouldn't have mentioned anything at all.

Thomas help Olive undress? Oh, of course. No, he was fairly certain there was nothing to the question except the necessity for her to undress herself before taking a bath, but a man can dream, can't he? Olive was usually rather direct when it came to her need of him, and it didn't seem that she was overwhelmed with desire at the moment.

Crossing the room to his wife, Thomas gave a chaste kiss on her forehead before he helped her into a position that he could help her undress. Reaching behind her to the stays of her dress, he began to unlace them. Olive was so completely beautiful. Even before the pregnancy, she was by far the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. And yet, he'd done such terrible things to her. Emotionally. He'd slept with other women who paled in comparison to her. Why? God, he still didn't understand why. While it wasn't Theo's fault, he was still sure he'd done things to be closer to his brother. It was so stupid, though.

Olive's beauty was only amplified by her pregnancy. The features that made her attractive only grew with the child. And she had a glow about her that made her facial features stand out more. Oh how he loved her. He knew that he would never be able to change what he'd done to her, but he hoped that he was making amends for it. He was certainly trying.

Once the laces were undone, he leaned forward to press his lips against his wife's shoulder. “God, you're so beautiful Olive..” he told her quietly, “I mean it.. you really are.” Sometimes, she would get so depressed about her appearance. Most pregnant women did, apparently. They worried about the weight they'd gained, the semi-permanent changes their body would be enduring. Sometimes, sure, her complexion was a little lack-luster. But overall.. she was more stunning today than she had ever been before.

[Oh For The Love of Cod]

тнεσ∂σяε яσтнεмвυяg ||| αηηαℓιsε ℓσcкε∂αу

ＬＯＶＥ ＩＳ ＮＯＴ ＥＮＯＵＧＨ

tab It really was unconventional, this relationship of theirs. Annalise could never recall a monarch being truly in love with its spouse. Monarchs married for power, alliance, station; never did they marry for love. Well, never say never. There might have been a few who felt something for their spouse before marriage. It wasn't a completely impossible idea, was it? No, of course not. However, it was safe to say none other royal couple had been as unique as Alexander and Annalise. The way they met and fell in love was unlike any other royal couple. Usually, the marriage was arranged or they met in court during some gala, but never on a random passing through a country town. It was fate, wasn't it? This life they were leading? It had to be. There were unknown forces in this world acting to keep them together. They were simply meant to be, and who could deny that?

Upon being deposited onto the bed, Annalise sat up and hopped right off. Why? Well, she was still dressed, wasn't she? Annalise wasn't about to fall asleep in her clothes. Alexander was undressing himself, so that left Annalise to her own devices. No problem. It was a little more difficult to undress alone, but it wasn't an impossibility. It just took a little more effort to reach around and behind to begin tugging at the laces. Annalise managed to loosen the laces enough to yank the dress free, and she did the same with the corset. With her pregnant belly in the way, corsets were a little more awkward than usual.

With her clothes piled at her feet, Annalise stepped out of them and into the bed, covering herself with the soft blanket. Ah, it felt so good to be in this bed! She was exhausted and sore, and she could tell she'd have a good night's sleep tonight. Preferably dreamless.

"Well, if I'm not needed for any of tomorrow's business, please don't wake me. Don't wake me for breakfast either. I shall wake up when I'm good and ready," she warned him.





Olive stood up with her husband's assistance so that he might be of better use to her in the job of undressing. Instead of moving around her, though, he reached 'round and tugged the laces free, bringing their bodies quite close together. At one point in their marriage, Olive would have enjoyed the nearness, would have caressed his chest and kissed his jaw with sultry giggles. She'd been so terribly in love with him. Oh, yes, she still loved him, but she wasn't open to being like she used to be with him. What he'd done to her could never be erased, and it was going to be a black spot on their lives forever, a pool of bad blood. Olive had forgiven him and accepted him back, and Thomas was trying so hard to be the husband he should be, but none of that could make the past go away. Their marriage just wouldn't be the same. It would be different, and for that Olive was sorry. It was truly a sorry business.

Shrugging out of the dress, Olive attempted to step away from Thomas, but he pressed his lips against her freckled shoulder and told her she was beautiful. She believed him, honestly, she did. Even so, she placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him away from her. A faint and sorry smile was all she could offer him. It was hard, you know? Having the man you loved at your fingertips but not able to bring yourself to really love him. She wanted to satisfy him, wanted to give him the physical love a wife should give her husband, but every time he got close to her without her instigating it... she could only push him away. It hurt her to do so, and she knew it hurt Thomas, yet she could not change it. She was haunted by his follies.

"Thank you," she told him gently, her hands slipping away from his chest. "I'm going to give my hair a brush while I wait for the bath."

Olive stepped out of her dress and made her slow way over to her vanity to take a seat upon the cushioned stool. Reaching up, she unpinned her auburn hair with its natural highlights of amber. The thick locks fell against her fair and freckled back, and she pulled them round to one shoulder for easy access brushing. Taking up her brush, she began to methodically run it through her tresses and make them smooth for washing.






_______________

[Chive It Up]

Alexander turned to see that Annalise had undressed herself and already climbed into his bed. Seeing her nestled in the sheets and pillows that belonged to him left such a warm feeling in his chest. It was as if the past several months hadn't even happened and she had never left him. Oh, but her pregnant belly was proof that it had.

With a happy sigh, he climbed into the warm bed, which now smelled of his lover. It would comfort him, tonight, as he fell asleep, as he hoped his scent would do for Annalise. Pulling the covers up around him, he shifted until he was beside Annalise with his arms around her. “I will not wake you up, darling. I swear it.” Placing a kiss against her lips, he moved back and settled down into his pillow, preparing for a long period of rest. “Get some rest, love,” he advised her, closing his eyes.

Oh, he was fairly certain that he wouldn't fall asleep immediately, of course, but he was tired enough that he could sleep early. He would need his rest for tomorrow. It was sure to be an eventful day.

- - - -

What had Thomas expected? A welcoming embrace? Oh, he had to admit, sometimes he felt used. Olive got whatever she wanted from him, whenever she wanted it. Thomas? Eh, not so much. That was all right though, this was something he willingly permitted. This was something he deserved, in a way. He couldn't make Olive love him again. He couldn't. They'd had true love at one point, and perhaps that was enough. Life wasn't always perfect.

With a nod and a smile at her rejection, Thomas retreated to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it. For a few minutes, he watched her as she silently combed her long beautiful hair. Then, he couldn't bear it anymore. He couldn't sit there and watch her any longer. It hurt him too much to think of the life he'd ruined. The things he could have had.. if only he'd been faithful and true. He'd done this to himself, he could only blame himself. It didn't stop the heartbreak he felt, though.

“I, ah,” Thomas placed his hands on his knees and pushed himself up again, “I'll go check your water,” he told her, before striding out of the room with a sigh. Damn it all, any way. Moving into the kitchen, he approached the hearth and the water he had warming there. Of course, it wasn't warm yet. Not enough for a hot bath to soothe his wife's aching muscles. Exhaling deeply, he hung his head slightly. Hopefully, once this baby arrived, it would help to mend things between him and his wife. Though, it could also just make things worse.. banking on a life changing event like this to mend a rift was bad news. Things weren't all bad, he supposed, his life was considerably better, it was just his relationship that wasn't as great as he'd wished.

Perhaps he just needed a break? He would have normally gone to a Tavern, but he'd not been in one of those in ages. Not for fear of breaking Olive's trust. Perhaps he needed to make a few new friends. He could get to know his sister's husband, he supposed. The man seemed just as boring as Tellie, but it would be something. And Olive wouldn't dare think that Joss was a negative influence on Thomas. Ah, perhaps that's a good idea. Find a new hobby with Joss as his companion.

[Oh For The Love of Cod]

тнεσ∂σяε яσтнεмвυяg ||| αηηαℓιsε ℓσcкε∂αу

tab Olive was aware of Thomas watching her, but she chose to ignore him. His eyes on her body made her... it felt wrong. Those eyes that had so easily and willfully deceived her. Those eyes that had come home so often with the bodies of other women reflected inside, bodies of harlots and women without dignity. For so long, and even now, Olive doubted her beauty, her worth. There had to be something wrong with her to make her husband want to sleep with low grade sluts. Thomas had loved her for so many years. So many years. Why would he just up and commit adultery? Multiple times, and even after Olive found out he was doing it? It was as if he cared so little for her, cared nothing for the life they'd made together. Thomas had destroyed their marriage, crushed Olive's self-confidence, and brought darkness over their lives. His mistakes, no, willful choices, would forever shadow them. It wouldn't go away.

Thomas left the room to check on her bath water, leaving her quite alone with her own reflection. Men had pined for this face, this woman. Olive could easily be ranked as one of the most beautiful women in Penwood, if not the most beautiful woman. Perhaps she had competition when Carlotta was still in town, but now that Carlotta was gone... Olive was standing alone. Even so, Olive couldn't help but doubt herself. No, she'd never been vain, always humble, but men had chased her ever since she was a teenager. All she'd ever heard was how divinely gorgeous she was, how men wanted to get her alone and get under skirts, how they all wanted to marry her and make her their trophy wife. She'd been coveted and lusted for so many years, yet her own husband... the man she sacrificed everything for... decided she wasn't good enough?

Olive was broken somewhere deep inside, and it was a place nobody could touch. There was no mending to be done. Ever. You could forgive and move on, but there was never any forgetting; and with no forgetting, a part of you always stayed in the rubble. Olive would always love Thomas, and she was forgiving him his sins against her, trying to be a decent wife to an unfaithful husband, but she just couldn't be his Olive anymore. There was no going back to the days when they saw nobody but each other, loved one another so desperately, were willing to sacrifice every dream for the other's happiness, and were blissfully married. It would never be that way again. That pool of bad blood would always be the distance between them. There was no amount of rags that could soak it up. No drought that could dry it.

Placing her brush on the vanity, Olive looked away from the mirror and brought her fingers to her mouth, closing her eyes against the tears. She'd already done her crying. She shouldn't be still doing it, but she was pregnant now. Her emotions were magnified and unpredictable. She was feeling those ruins deep in her heart, watching them crumble bit by bit with every passing month. It was a part of her she was never going to get back. It was obliterated, incapable of being fixed, and all she could do was bear witness to it. The pieces of herself she could never mend were turning to ash in her hands, disappearing completely. And once a part of a whole vanishes... there's not a chance of it ever being complete again.

Resting her elbows on the vanity, Olive buried her face in her hands, her hair falling about her like a screen. She hated crying. It wasn't something she was wont to do, but what else could she do? Her marriage would never be whole. She'd never be able to smile at Thomas with love. Every time she looked at him...

"God help me," Olive breathed, pushing her hair back and standing up. She wiped her face and sucked up her tears, refusing to let them overtake her. Olive was stronger than that.





It was a happy marriage. Two boring people in a big house. Two boring people weren't boring to each other, however. Joss and Tellie were quite the perfect little couple. They could read together in perfect silence and feel all close and content. Joss could simply watch Tellie sew or cook and be entertained, though he was usually sequestering himself somewhere with piles of books. That's all Joss ever really did: read. He worked often, but in his free time he read. Oh, yes, he'd go for walks with his wife or occasionally help her cook, but he was a quiet man with quiet interests. He had no temper at all, and he was as pious as a good priest. If he wasn't working, he had certain days when he'd do his charity work, and he encouraged Tellie to join him. While he built and repaired things, Tellie would hand out food or various handmade items to the suffering. They were, undeniably, the sweetest and most loving couple Penwood had to offer.

There were days when Briannon would be their guest, and the younger woman got on extremely well with Tellie. They would sew together or chat about womanly topics, be it fashion trends or the hot news of the week. Joss was so very pleased that his wife and sister were so close. It made for a happy little family. Speaking of, Joss was doing his best to start one of his own. Oh, he didn't neglect his wife when it came to bedroom duties. Not. At. All. Joss found his wife a lovely creature, and he had no problem making love to her. It was the one instance in his life where he was not a quiet and reserved man. It even felt... naughty to him, and that made him feel a little wild. But it wasn't naughty; Tellie was his wife and the only woman he'd ever been with. As it should be.

Joss was brushing out his long hair in front of the wall mirror in the bedroom. He'd just gotten out of the bath, and his locks were damp. He didn't bother getting dressed, for he was only going to slip into bed afterwards. What he was going to do in bed was another thing altogether. Would he read his book? Would he have an idle chat with his wife? Or... would he make love to her? It was a decision he hadn't made yet, and he glanced at his wife through the mirror periodically in hopes her lovely countenance would help him decide. Well... if he wanted to go through with the latter, he would have to have her consent, of course. It depended on her, he supposed.

Dropping his brush onto the table, Joss picked up a black ribbon and tied his hair into a ponytail. A few dried and soft tendrils were wispy about his face, and he gave his beard a fluff with his thick-skinned hands. Being a builder, his hands were very rough and tough. Also being a builder, his physique was exceptional. Muscular, taut, delicious.

"What did you do this afternoon?" he asked, turning away from the mirror and walking over to the bed, slipping inside. "You baked, I know that much," he chuckled, smiling towards his wife. "Your pie was wonderful, my dear."






_______________

[Chive It Up]

Thomas waited until the water seemed to be hot enough for a bath, and then he carried the heavy pot to their washroom and dumped the water in. He tested it, deemed it to be suitable for bathing, and then went to inform his wife. When he entered the room, he paused, not having the chance to speak those words before he saw what sort of mood his wife was in.

She'd been crying. At least, a little. Thomas knew his wife well enough to be able to tell precisely how she was feeling at almost any given time. Even if that wasn't the case, it didn't take a genius to be able to tell what was on his wife's mind. Why she was upset. It was the same thing as nearly every other time, and it ate him alive.

What was there for him to say? Thomas could apologize until he was blue in the face, swear he loved her and always had, tell her that she was, is, and always will be the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen. And yet, he still did terrible and awful things to their relationship. He'd destroyed it so utterly that the only way it had been salvaged was through some miracle of a pregnancy. And even then, it was in tatters.

“Olive,” he breathed quietly, averting his eyes to the ground in front of him. He took a few deep steadying breaths, trying to figure out the words he wanted to say, but then shook his head and looked to her again. “If there was.. anything I could say or do to fix this, I would say or do it. I know it's not enough, but I'm doing everything I can to try. I do love you, and I always have, Olive. But why I did this I just.. I don't have an answer. At least not a suitable one.. not one that makes it better..”

It was his own fault. All of this was his fault. He'd spent so much time with Theo and the other men in those Taverns and around those women.. that he longed to be like them. Young and carefree. No worries at all. The ability to do whatever he pleased because he could. For a little while, he suppose he did. In his mind, at least. It was a rush. The chase. It was never about the women themselves. And then once Olive found out.. Thomas had come out of it all unscathed. It made him feel invincible. He'd gotten away with it, why couldn't he do it again? He'd convinced himself there wasn't really any risk and that he wasn't hurting anyone. But, of course, he was wrong.

“I made you feel like.. you were worthless.. that was never what I wanted. I never did any of this to hurt you, Olive. You'd think I would have known better... because of everything my mother went through. Because of how terrible everyone treated my father for what he'd done. And then I.. I did the same thing.” Thomas clenched his jaw shut for a moment. Oh, how worthless he had felt once he'd come to terms with what he'd done. The disappointment he had seen in everyone's eyes. No one cared for him anymore, not even his own wife. Sure, she loved him in a way, but not like before. He'd crushed every bit of affection anyone had ever had for him. Even his own mother looked at him with disdain. If he could take it all back, he would. He would go back to that day and turn away from the Tavern. The price he'd paid had not been worth it.

Reaching up, he swiped at his eye, feeling a bit of moisture there. Self-pity. He was a pitiful thing, wasn't he? Olive didn't want to see that. “Your bath is ready, at any rate,” he told her. Oh, Thomas was likely going to be spending a night sleeping on the lounge.

- - - -

Marriage was difficult for Tellie. Oh, it wasn't because Joss was a difficult person, or because being married was hard work. But because she felt so completely and utterly out of her element being a wife. No, it wasn't even being a wife that was difficult. Cooking, cleaning, sewing, and most of her other duties all came naturally. Tellie had spent most of her life at her mother's side, learning everything she could to prepare her for this role in her life. She'd excelled in most things, that her mother had taught her. But there was one very critical part of being a wife that no one would be able to teach.

Making love to Joss was not inherently difficult. He was a kind and gentle man who respected her boundaries. It had been months since they'd been married, though, and she was only now beginning to open her mind to things. Only now was she beginning to look at Joss, especially at times like these when he was completely nude, and feel a desire for him. Now that was a strange thing for her. That part was the difficult part. It made her feel so sinful to be filled with lust. But wasn't she supposed to feel that way about her husband? It wasn't sinful at all, was it? No. You were supposed to be this way with the man you were married to. But pleasure for pleasure's sake just felt wrong.

Did she love him? Well, no, not exactly. She cared for him, of course. She cared about his well-being, wanted to see him happy. She worried about him when he was gone at work for far too long. But she didn't necessary love him. Perhaps, soon enough, she could grow to love him, but she wasn't yet.

Tellie found her eyes lingering on her husband's body as he readied himself for bed. She'd been reclining in bed, reading a few passages from a book while he prepared for bed. He'd look up at her every now and again, and she'd feign interest in her novel again. It sent butterflies in her stomach when he looked at her. She knew what he wanted, and it was both exciting and frightening. Why couldn't she have just died an old spinster?

Joss moved from his position, causing her eyes to lift and light upon him. A smile crossed her face. Oh, he was undoubtedly handsome. Briannon had told her that other women had always pined after his looks, but had found him to be rather boring. Tellie didn't find him boring. He had a quiet way about him. The same way Tellie had. The two of them could entertain themselves with their daily tasks or reading, and simultaneously entertain the other in comfort. There was nothing that Joss did that made her uncomfortable. Well, besides one thing, and it wasn't a physical uncomfortableness as a mental one. Tellie still struggled with this.

Briannon had tried to offer some advice, which had just seemed strange. Everyone else in the world seemed to be completely at ease with sex, even little Annalise, but not Tellie. Tellie still felt like a child, even though she was getting older every day. God help her..

Joss asked her a question and she smiled up at him, closing her book and laying it in her lap. What had she done this afternoon? She cleaned, cooked, read, and sewed.. just like every day. It used to be that she would spend time with Annalise, but she'd recently left to go to London, and her presence had been missed in Tellie's life. Oh, but she had gone to see Versie and little Lorielle today. It never ceased to amaze her how a cruel brute like Benjamin had fathered such a sweet babe.. or convinced such a delicate woman to marry him.

But was this conversation really about pie and what she'd done today? Or was it just a beginning to the question that Tellie knew was coming next. “Thank you,” she said about the pie, “I went to visit Versie today,” she said, turning in order to place her book on the small nightstand beside her. Oh, Tellie had those butterflies again. “Lorielle is such a sweet little thing... I've already run out of things to sew for her. Versie says she doesn't need anything else, so I'll just have to wait for the little darling to grow up some, so I can make something else.” Babies. Oh, Tellie wanted one, and she knew how to get one.

Wetting her lips after a moment, she looked to her husband, “I am sorry.. I'm sure I make this whole thing a good deal more difficult than it needs to be, don't I? Even I'm surprised that I have trouble thinking or discussing it.. the way Tom and Theo are..” Tellie let out a quiet chuckle. “Though, things would be much worse for me if I were a man.”

[Oh For The Love of Cod]

тнεσ∂σяε яσтнεмвυяg ||| αηηαℓιsε ℓσcкε∂αу

tab Again and again, over and over. How many times had Olive heard the same spiel, only with differently stringed words? After awhile, apologizing became a nuisance. Yes, yes, she already knew he was sorry! He told her a hundred times! She'd already forgiven him, and she was doing her best to salvage what they had left of their marriage. Both of them were. It was just... while Thomas could come back and rebuild himself, Olive couldn't. She couldn't pick up the broken pieces of herself. No matter how many times Thomas told her she wasn't worthless, that he never did any of it to harm her personally, it wasn't going to change her doubting heart. If he'd never wanted to hurt her, never wanted to make her question herself... then why did he do it?

Sighing, Olive opened her eyes and glanced over to Thomas. He was indeed pitiful. Thomas reminded her of himself when he was just a boy. That sweet little child she'd watch whenever he came in with his papa. At first, she'd waited on them with rosy cheeks because she had a girlhood crush on William. Many women eyed him, for William had been a killer in looks. But he'd been married, and Olive was so little compared to him. There was no chance, and it was only a fleeting infatuation. Her attention eventually switched to Thomas, and she'd been so... disgusted with herself for the flutterings. He was a child. It was almost perverse to like him. But he grew up, and it was no longer awkward to want him. To love him.

Four years between them, only four, yet Olive felt like she was seeing someone so much smaller. She knew he, too, was haunted by what he'd done. She knew he was battling his guilt, hating himself for destroying their marriage, wishing he could change it all. While she wanted wishes and words to be enough, they just weren't. And while she wanted to tell him everything was all right, that she loved him, it just... the words never came out. But things weren't all right, anyway.

Olive bit onto her fingernail for a quiet moment before she moved over to Thomas and placed her hands on his biceps. She rubbed his arms, her dark blue eyes downcast. It was hard to look him in the eye. "I don't want to make you feel like you're a terrible man, Thomas." Olive hesitated. "You're not. You have made great strides in proving yourself to me, and I am thankful for that. But... you and I both know this... this will always be present. Adultery doesn't just go away... Thomas. I wish it did because... I love you, and I can't love you... because all I see is..." she trailed off, shaking her head. "Thank you for the bath."

Olive brushed past her husband, her chest aching. Too bad it wasn't an ache the hot water could soothe.





Joss could almost feel Tellie's nerves radiating off of her as if he had feelers just tasting the auras of people near him. It was always like this with her, but he wasn't upset. Maybe he was a little disappointed that his wife was still so uncomfortable with making love to him, but what could he do? He was gentle with her, never pushy or overbearing. He was patient and faithful. He was her husband, for goodness' sake. Did some women just never grow out of their anxiety? There was nothing at all to be nervous about anymore. Joss knew his wife's body and she his. They'd made love plenty of times already. What was the problem? It was bordering on ridiculous, but Joss would never admit that. That wasn't in his nature.

"Lorielle is one well clothed bairn, I must say," Joss quietly laughed. "Versie's lucky to have your creations for her child, and I'm sure you'll have the opportunity to make more in the future. I'm sure Ben will have many more children with Versie, and each one will be clothed by you." He gave her a little wink and a soft smirk before he rolled over onto his side so his strong back was facing her. It was not out of ignorance, but simply to get comfortable, seeing as he wasn't going to be doing anything else but sleeping. Unfortunately.

Joss wanted his own children. He didn't care if they were boy or girl. All he wanted was a family, and he'd been convinced Tellie was the woman to do that with. She was so sweet and motherly, but... well, she'd never get to that point if she couldn't take her husband to bed.

"Natalia, dear, I am not here to criticize you," Joss informed her, glancing over his shoulder at her. "You feel how you feel and that's all right." Not really, but he'd never say that. "And you should be thankful you're not a man," he agreed, chuckling. "It's worse for us, indeed."






_______________

[Chive It Up]

No, Olive was right. Perhaps he wasn't a terrible man, and he could make all the efforts he wanted to make, but he could never change what he'd done. Adultery doesn't just go away. He and his wife would never been in love like they'd been in the past, and the only true salvation he had was the thought that a child could potentially distract them from their heartache. Was that all they needed? A distraction?

“You're welcome,” he murmured as Olive moved past him and headed off towards the washroom for her bath. Thomas missed the old days when their love was young and fresh. They were happier then. As much as he hated to admit it, he was fairly certain one of the reasons their love had faltered was because their relationship became routine and stagnate. Without a child or the prospect of children to break up the monotony. What was there? Nothing, really. It wasn't an excuse, he knew, but it was perhaps one of the reasons.

None of that mattered now, because he couldn't change what had happened. There was no way to go back and change those things. He had to move forward, but he couldn't pretend that it hadn't happened. It was a delicate balance, and a problem he didn't know how to tackle. For now, he decided the best course of action was to leave Olive alone and let her have her space. “Let me know if you need anything, Olive,” he called to her, not daring to follow after her and tell her.

- - - -

Tellie could do little more than smile at her husband as he spoke. Oh, his quiet laugh was like music to her ears. It was incredibly true that men had it worse. If she were a man, her wife would still be a maid. Men were expected to know how to do things before they were married. It was just.. well, it was likely just as difficult for them to make the transition from chastity to being with their wives. But they were in a position that they were forced to change. Tellie wasn't being forced, and she was grateful for that.

Truthfully, she'd expected things to be different. No one had ever warned her that after twenty some odd years of celibacy, she would have to learn these things. That it might be difficult for her. She'd expected to get married and then be filled with the confidence and desire that came with making love to her husband. That first night had been awkward and strange, no matter how tender Joss had been.

How much patience could a man truly have? Joss was no saint, although he was rather close, and he would likely grow tired of her. Tellie didn't want that, though. She wanted a family.. and she knew her husband did as well. They were never going to have one if things remained like this. She wasn't that little girl anymore, no matter how much she felt like it.

Joss had turned his body away from her, and rested his head back down on his pillow. He was going to sleep. He assumed that she wasn't interested in him for the night. Well, it wasn't exactly true. Joss had come to bed in the nude, so he was clearly expecting her to fulfill her duties. Tellie had crawled into bed in her usual sleeping gown, a thin linen dress that was rather large and shapeless. It didn't flatter her at all, and she almost preferred that.

Tellie shifted further under the blankets and then turned onto her side facing Joss. His back was exposed, and she found herself looking at the firm muscles beneath his skin. He was such a physically and emotionally strong man, yet kind and gentle. And handsome, let's not forget that. She'd really been lucky in this arrangement, hadn't she? What had Annalise said? That she would have been glad to have a man like that to wrap her legs around?

The thought made Tellie turn pink. Other people desired her husband. No one had ever desired her. She was boring. Everyone told her, not just her brothers. The other girls, the boys she'd met when she was younger. Joss didn't think she was, though.

Her fingers reached out to trace the outline of her husband's muscles, her mind drifting to things that Briannon had suggested for her. Embarrassing things, truly. Well, embarrassing for Tellie. Anyone else would have giggled and taken the advice. But she wasn't anyone else, she was boring old Tellie. Her husband called her Natalia, but that still didn't feel like who she was. Perhaps.. that's who she needed to be. Just to let go and try and be this different person.. at least, at night.

Taking a deep breath to gather her courage, Tellie sat upright in the bed. “Joss,” she said quietly, “I want to have a family of our own. I want to have a baby, and I, well,” she chuckled quietly, “I need your help for that, dear.” Reaching down to the hem of her gown, she pulled it up and over her head. It was still hard for her to feel comfortable in her own skin, but she was going to try. Oh, god, she was going to try.

Reaching over to her husband, she tugged on his shoulder gently until he rolled over onto his back. Then, she leaned over to him and kissed him lightly. It would have been embarrassing if Joss had not been wanting to make love tonight, but Tellie remembered Briannon's words. 'Men always want to make love.'