Her_Lovely_Head
(?)Community Member
- Posted: Sat, 10 Aug 2013 05:22:42 +0000
So Gaia probably isn't the place for this, but I figured I would give it a shot.
My name is Ali. I am 5'7. I weigh 123 lbs. I'm fifteen.
Three years ago, I found out I had disordered eating.(I would say EDNOS)
Ever since then I've struggled to figure out how to cope with my body, my eating habits, & my state of mind.
Age 11-12: I showed the normal signs of anorexia. I was probably around 110-113 lbs. I went back & forth between wanting help and basically being "proana". My friend finally sent me to a school counselor who called my parents. My mother set up a plan for my recovery.
Age 12-13: I went through weird food phases where I would eat mainly one thing, and a ton of it. Sometimes I would purge. I found "proana" diets and attempted them, then would binge once I failed. Eventually I became okay with my body and worried less about food(was not eating healthy at all). My weight was around 130.
Age 13-14: I became a vegan and tried to be super super health conscious. I started doing yoga and all that. Then I began exercising and my weight went down to 115. I stopped exercising because I was hurting myself. I started being looser on food to increase my happiness. My weight was about 120.
Age 14-15: I moved in with family unexpectedly. I no longer had as much control. I started eating meat again out of fear that I wasn't getting enough nutrients. I also became a tad depressed. My weight went up to 126. I decided that I was going to figure out a way to become the weight I want to be so that I can't complain about not being skinny enough. I started to eat around 600 calories a day. My weight went down to 120. I binged and went slack.
I am now 123. Unhappy with my body. Unsure what would make me happy.
Can anyone give me advice? Or does anyone relate?
My name is Ali. I am 5'7. I weigh 123 lbs. I'm fifteen.
Three years ago, I found out I had disordered eating.(I would say EDNOS)
Ever since then I've struggled to figure out how to cope with my body, my eating habits, & my state of mind.
Age 11-12: I showed the normal signs of anorexia. I was probably around 110-113 lbs. I went back & forth between wanting help and basically being "proana". My friend finally sent me to a school counselor who called my parents. My mother set up a plan for my recovery.
Age 12-13: I went through weird food phases where I would eat mainly one thing, and a ton of it. Sometimes I would purge. I found "proana" diets and attempted them, then would binge once I failed. Eventually I became okay with my body and worried less about food(was not eating healthy at all). My weight was around 130.
Age 13-14: I became a vegan and tried to be super super health conscious. I started doing yoga and all that. Then I began exercising and my weight went down to 115. I stopped exercising because I was hurting myself. I started being looser on food to increase my happiness. My weight was about 120.
Age 14-15: I moved in with family unexpectedly. I no longer had as much control. I started eating meat again out of fear that I wasn't getting enough nutrients. I also became a tad depressed. My weight went up to 126. I decided that I was going to figure out a way to become the weight I want to be so that I can't complain about not being skinny enough. I started to eat around 600 calories a day. My weight went down to 120. I binged and went slack.
I am now 123. Unhappy with my body. Unsure what would make me happy.
Can anyone give me advice? Or does anyone relate?