Body Issues(Disordered Eating/Perfectionism)

[Her_Lovely_Head]

So Gaia probably isn't the place for this, but I figured I would give it a shot.
My name is Ali. I am 5'7. I weigh 123 lbs. I'm fifteen.
Three years ago, I found out I had disordered eating.(I would say EDNOS)
Ever since then I've struggled to figure out how to cope with my body, my eating habits, & my state of mind.

Age 11-12: I showed the normal signs of anorexia. I was probably around 110-113 lbs. I went back & forth between wanting help and basically being "proana". My friend finally sent me to a school counselor who called my parents. My mother set up a plan for my recovery.
Age 12-13: I went through weird food phases where I would eat mainly one thing, and a ton of it. Sometimes I would purge. I found "proana" diets and attempted them, then would binge once I failed. Eventually I became okay with my body and worried less about food(was not eating healthy at all). My weight was around 130.
Age 13-14: I became a vegan and tried to be super super health conscious. I started doing yoga and all that. Then I began exercising and my weight went down to 115. I stopped exercising because I was hurting myself. I started being looser on food to increase my happiness. My weight was about 120.
Age 14-15: I moved in with family unexpectedly. I no longer had as much control. I started eating meat again out of fear that I wasn't getting enough nutrients. I also became a tad depressed. My weight went up to 126. I decided that I was going to figure out a way to become the weight I want to be so that I can't complain about not being skinny enough. I started to eat around 600 calories a day. My weight went down to 120. I binged and went slack.

I am now 123. Unhappy with my body. Unsure what would make me happy.
Can anyone give me advice? Or does anyone relate?

[berry-sweet-promise]

What kind of body do you think you want? Once you figure that out you can modify your exercising and eating habits to fit the body you think you want to have.

Another option could be to just eat three balance meals a day, limit intake on sugar (like treat yourself twice a month or so) and walk/run places, and do not weigh yourself.

[Her_Lovely_Head]

berry-sweet-promise

What kind of body do you think you want? Once you figure that out you can modify your exercising and eating habits to fit the body you think you want to have.

Another option could be to just eat three balance meals a day, limit intake on sugar (like treat yourself twice a month or so) and walk/run places, and do not weigh yourself.

As far as the look of the body, I'd like to be very thin. I'm a size 3 and I'd like to be a size 0.
Or I guess another way to put it is to have a runway model figure.
I'm worried to exercise too much because I don't want to be bulky.
I also don't have the time or money to actually prepare nice meals, so I've just been eating low calorie packaged foods for the most part.
If I had to guess the weight that I would have to be to obtain this figure, it'd probably be about 110

[berry-sweet-promise]

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

What kind of body do you think you want? Once you figure that out you can modify your exercising and eating habits to fit the body you think you want to have.

Another option could be to just eat three balance meals a day, limit intake on sugar (like treat yourself twice a month or so) and walk/run places, and do not weigh yourself.

As far as the look of the body, I'd like to be very thin. I'm a size 3 and I'd like to be a size 0.
Or I guess another way to put it is to have a runway model figure.
I'm worried to exercise too much because I don't want to be bulky.
I also don't have the time or money to actually prepare nice meals, so I've just been eating low calorie packaged foods for the most part.
If I had to guess the weight that I would have to be to obtain this figure, it'd probably be about 110

You wont get bulky if you exercise for like 30min-1hr three times a week and it will more so tone you, i was worried also about getting bulky but that is only if you do intense intense exercise i believe. Fun exercises to do is zumba, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc. If you want to be a size zero the low calorie packaged food will not help.

The most i can say for you to be a model size is to exercise and eat healthy but little. If you want a specific model aim for victoria secret models or tyra banks

[Her_Lovely_Head]

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

What kind of body do you think you want? Once you figure that out you can modify your exercising and eating habits to fit the body you think you want to have.

Another option could be to just eat three balance meals a day, limit intake on sugar (like treat yourself twice a month or so) and walk/run places, and do not weigh yourself.

As far as the look of the body, I'd like to be very thin. I'm a size 3 and I'd like to be a size 0.
Or I guess another way to put it is to have a runway model figure.
I'm worried to exercise too much because I don't want to be bulky.
I also don't have the time or money to actually prepare nice meals, so I've just been eating low calorie packaged foods for the most part.
If I had to guess the weight that I would have to be to obtain this figure, it'd probably be about 110

You wont get bulky if you exercise for like 30min-1hr three times a week and it will more so tone you, i was worried also about getting bulky but that is only if you do intense intense exercise i believe. Fun exercises to do is zumba, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc. If you want to be a size zero the low calorie packaged food will not help.

The most i can say for you to be a model size is to exercise and eat healthy but little. If you want a specific model aim for victoria secret models or tyra banks

I walk 30 minutes a day, I think my problem lies mostly with food. I don't have as much control over what I eat and I either eat around 600 calories on my good days or eat like 1300 on my binge days. It's very topsy turvy for me. I think once I change the environment I'm in, I will be able to get a grip of things.

[berry-sweet-promise]

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

What kind of body do you think you want? Once you figure that out you can modify your exercising and eating habits to fit the body you think you want to have.

Another option could be to just eat three balance meals a day, limit intake on sugar (like treat yourself twice a month or so) and walk/run places, and do not weigh yourself.

As far as the look of the body, I'd like to be very thin. I'm a size 3 and I'd like to be a size 0.
Or I guess another way to put it is to have a runway model figure.
I'm worried to exercise too much because I don't want to be bulky.
I also don't have the time or money to actually prepare nice meals, so I've just been eating low calorie packaged foods for the most part.
If I had to guess the weight that I would have to be to obtain this figure, it'd probably be about 110

You wont get bulky if you exercise for like 30min-1hr three times a week and it will more so tone you, i was worried also about getting bulky but that is only if you do intense intense exercise i believe. Fun exercises to do is zumba, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc. If you want to be a size zero the low calorie packaged food will not help.

The most i can say for you to be a model size is to exercise and eat healthy but little. If you want a specific model aim for victoria secret models or tyra banks

I walk 30 minutes a day, I think my problem lies mostly with food. I don't have as much control over what I eat and I either eat around 600 calories on my good days or eat like 1300 on my binge days. It's very topsy turvy for me. I think once I change the environment I'm in, I will be able to get a grip of things.

Try to incorpate some ab exercises also if you can. Yea, i can see how that is a problem, maybe ask your guardian to buy more healthy food?

[Her_Lovely_Head]

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

What kind of body do you think you want? Once you figure that out you can modify your exercising and eating habits to fit the body you think you want to have.

Another option could be to just eat three balance meals a day, limit intake on sugar (like treat yourself twice a month or so) and walk/run places, and do not weigh yourself.

As far as the look of the body, I'd like to be very thin. I'm a size 3 and I'd like to be a size 0.
Or I guess another way to put it is to have a runway model figure.
I'm worried to exercise too much because I don't want to be bulky.
I also don't have the time or money to actually prepare nice meals, so I've just been eating low calorie packaged foods for the most part.
If I had to guess the weight that I would have to be to obtain this figure, it'd probably be about 110

You wont get bulky if you exercise for like 30min-1hr three times a week and it will more so tone you, i was worried also about getting bulky but that is only if you do intense intense exercise i believe. Fun exercises to do is zumba, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc. If you want to be a size zero the low calorie packaged food will not help.

The most i can say for you to be a model size is to exercise and eat healthy but little. If you want a specific model aim for victoria secret models or tyra banks

I walk 30 minutes a day, I think my problem lies mostly with food. I don't have as much control over what I eat and I either eat around 600 calories on my good days or eat like 1300 on my binge days. It's very topsy turvy for me. I think once I change the environment I'm in, I will be able to get a grip of things.

Try to incorpate some ab exercises also if you can. Yea, i can see how that is a problem, maybe ask your guardian to buy more healthy food?

Well you see I live with four other people who all prefer unhealthy foods and aren't going to change anytime soon. I definitely shoot for healthier meals, but often end up eating whatever has been cooked/put in the kitchen. I'm going to college next week so I should be doing much better then.
I will try planks for ab exercise!

[berry-sweet-promise]

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

What kind of body do you think you want? Once you figure that out you can modify your exercising and eating habits to fit the body you think you want to have.

Another option could be to just eat three balance meals a day, limit intake on sugar (like treat yourself twice a month or so) and walk/run places, and do not weigh yourself.

As far as the look of the body, I'd like to be very thin. I'm a size 3 and I'd like to be a size 0.
Or I guess another way to put it is to have a runway model figure.
I'm worried to exercise too much because I don't want to be bulky.
I also don't have the time or money to actually prepare nice meals, so I've just been eating low calorie packaged foods for the most part.
If I had to guess the weight that I would have to be to obtain this figure, it'd probably be about 110

You wont get bulky if you exercise for like 30min-1hr three times a week and it will more so tone you, i was worried also about getting bulky but that is only if you do intense intense exercise i believe. Fun exercises to do is zumba, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc. If you want to be a size zero the low calorie packaged food will not help.

The most i can say for you to be a model size is to exercise and eat healthy but little. If you want a specific model aim for victoria secret models or tyra banks

I walk 30 minutes a day, I think my problem lies mostly with food. I don't have as much control over what I eat and I either eat around 600 calories on my good days or eat like 1300 on my binge days. It's very topsy turvy for me. I think once I change the environment I'm in, I will be able to get a grip of things.

Try to incorpate some ab exercises also if you can. Yea, i can see how that is a problem, maybe ask your guardian to buy more healthy food?

Well you see I live with four other people who all prefer unhealthy foods and aren't going to change anytime soon. I definitely shoot for healthier meals, but often end up eating whatever has been cooked/put in the kitchen. I'm going to college next week so I should be doing much better then.
I will try planks for ab exercise!

Good, yea once you on your own its better

[caro_san]

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

What kind of body do you think you want? Once you figure that out you can modify your exercising and eating habits to fit the body you think you want to have.

Another option could be to just eat three balance meals a day, limit intake on sugar (like treat yourself twice a month or so) and walk/run places, and do not weigh yourself.

As far as the look of the body, I'd like to be very thin. I'm a size 3 and I'd like to be a size 0.
Or I guess another way to put it is to have a runway model figure.
I'm worried to exercise too much because I don't want to be bulky.
I also don't have the time or money to actually prepare nice meals, so I've just been eating low calorie packaged foods for the most part.
If I had to guess the weight that I would have to be to obtain this figure, it'd probably be about 110

You wont get bulky if you exercise for like 30min-1hr three times a week and it will more so tone you, i was worried also about getting bulky but that is only if you do intense intense exercise i believe. Fun exercises to do is zumba, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc. If you want to be a size zero the low calorie packaged food will not help.

The most i can say for you to be a model size is to exercise and eat healthy but little. If you want a specific model aim for victoria secret models or tyra banks

I walk 30 minutes a day, I think my problem lies mostly with food. I don't have as much control over what I eat and I either eat around 600 calories on my good days or eat like 1300 on my binge days. It's very topsy turvy for me. I think once I change the environment I'm in, I will be able to get a grip of things.

Try to incorpate some ab exercises also if you can. Yea, i can see how that is a problem, maybe ask your guardian to buy more healthy food?

Well you see I live with four other people who all prefer unhealthy foods and aren't going to change anytime soon. I definitely shoot for healthier meals, but often end up eating whatever has been cooked/put in the kitchen. I'm going to college next week so I should be doing much better then.
I will try planks for ab exercise!

What's your definition of unhealthy food? Fat isn't bad. Our bodies use it for insulation, for energy and other things too.
Here's some info in it http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/sclark69.htm

Models are often photo shopped. Healthy to me is a balanced diet with a variety of food eaten to get the nutrients our bodies need to function.

here

[Her_Lovely_Head]

caro_san

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

Her_Lovely_Head

berry-sweet-promise

You wont get bulky if you exercise for like 30min-1hr three times a week and it will more so tone you, i was worried also about getting bulky but that is only if you do intense intense exercise i believe. Fun exercises to do is zumba, cardio, pilates, yoga, etc. If you want to be a size zero the low calorie packaged food will not help.

The most i can say for you to be a model size is to exercise and eat healthy but little. If you want a specific model aim for victoria secret models or tyra banks

I walk 30 minutes a day, I think my problem lies mostly with food. I don't have as much control over what I eat and I either eat around 600 calories on my good days or eat like 1300 on my binge days. It's very topsy turvy for me. I think once I change the environment I'm in, I will be able to get a grip of things.

Try to incorpate some ab exercises also if you can. Yea, i can see how that is a problem, maybe ask your guardian to buy more healthy food?

Well you see I live with four other people who all prefer unhealthy foods and aren't going to change anytime soon. I definitely shoot for healthier meals, but often end up eating whatever has been cooked/put in the kitchen. I'm going to college next week so I should be doing much better then.
I will try planks for ab exercise!

What's your definition of unhealthy food? Fat isn't bad. Our bodies use it for insulation, for energy and other things too.
Here's some info in it http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/sclark69.htm

Models are often photo shopped. Healthy to me is a balanced diet with a variety of food eaten to get the nutrients our bodies need to function.

here

Hmm, you know I've never thought about it, but maybe some of the things I've been considering bad aren't that bad. Obviously pies & cakes. Fast food. But then theres biscuits(large), cinnamon rolls, fries, ramen, chicken fries, soda, corn bread, meat and rice mixtures(I dont know what they are), creamy mashed potatoes, & donuts.
I'm trying to figure out how important it is to me. Maybe I have perfectionist issues to overcome...

[X of Castigation]

Have you been to therapy?

[Her_Lovely_Head]

Render Soluble

Have you been to therapy?

No, too expensive and I can find everything they would tell me on the internet. I think therapy would just piss me off lol

[Vanilla Flavored Toaster]

You're not at an unhealthy weight for your height, but limiting your calories is going to make you bulk up because the body will go into starvation mode.
If it is the size of the clothes that is your trigger and what's bothering you, try American Eagle jeans or any jean that has more than 2% spandex in the denim.
The zero's will stretch to fit anyone from an actual zero to a 4

[Her_Lovely_Head]

Vanilla Flavored Toaster

You're not at an unhealthy weight for your height, but limiting your calories is going to make you bulk up because the body will go into starvation mode.
If it is the size of the clothes that is your trigger and what's bothering you, try American Eagle jeans or any jean that has more than 2% spandex in the denim.
The zero's will stretch to fit anyone from an actual zero to a 4

I am not worried about clothing size

[X_n3ko_X]

Her_Lovely_Head

So Gaia probably isn't the place for this, but I figured I would give it a shot.
My name is Ali. I am 5'7. I weigh 123 lbs. I'm fifteen.
Three years ago, I found out I had disordered eating.(I would say EDNOS)
Ever since then I've struggled to figure out how to cope with my body, my eating habits, & my state of mind.

Age 11-12: I showed the normal signs of anorexia. I was probably around 110-113 lbs. I went back & forth between wanting help and basically being "proana". My friend finally sent me to a school counselor who called my parents. My mother set up a plan for my recovery.
Age 12-13: I went through weird food phases where I would eat mainly one thing, and a ton of it. Sometimes I would purge. I found "proana" diets and attempted them, then would binge once I failed. Eventually I became okay with my body and worried less about food(was not eating healthy at all). My weight was around 130.
Age 13-14: I became a vegan and tried to be super super health conscious. I started doing yoga and all that. Then I began exercising and my weight went down to 115. I stopped exercising because I was hurting myself. I started being looser on food to increase my happiness. My weight was about 120.
Age 14-15: I moved in with family unexpectedly. I no longer had as much control. I started eating meat again out of fear that I wasn't getting enough nutrients. I also became a tad depressed. My weight went up to 126. I decided that I was going to figure out a way to become the weight I want to be so that I can't complain about not being skinny enough. I started to eat around 600 calories a day. My weight went down to 120. I binged and went slack.

I am now 123. Unhappy with my body. Unsure what would make me happy.
Can anyone give me advice? Or does anyone relate?

Okay well first, you are beautiful just the way you are. Loosing a ton of weight will not make you feel happier nor will it make you feel more attractive. If you keep on you'll never be satisfied and you wont want to stop. Girl, you are 5'7 thats pretty tall and your only 123 and you were 130 before which is still pretty skinny.You sound like you can even do modeling. Be confident in who you are and love your self because having a eating disorder will not only harm you but hurt the others around you as well. I can relate because ive had friends and family members that have gone through the same things, I can also relate because ive had to deal with my own insecurities. Find the strength and be strong. emotion_bigheart