Taken from our previous Kumo Thread D; I didn't want to give it up T______T - Mike]
zvvq25cr:0="Taken from our previous Kumo Thread D; I didn't want to give it up T______T - Mike][color=#fe5e83][size=9][align=center]
Where do I even begin? Me and Mike have come so far it's almost as if we had never met and he was always there from the start. Like he was there when everything remotely significant happened in my life.
There's so many words I have to say about Xeroxer, except none actually describe how I feel about him. I've known him for just over a year now and we've contacted each other [i]every[/i] single day, whether it was by phone, Skype, MSN, GAIA; you name it.
I guess you could say Xeroxer is pretty perfect in every way. He's modest, loyal, absolutely gorgeous (completley ignoring his own thoughts on this topic - will get back to this in a bit :3) just, there's no flaws behind the person he is. I guess that's why I cherish him so much. I know that he'll also speak his mind whatever the circumstance - and that's pretty much how we met.
Randomly in a thread, we were just talking to one another - casually, like you do. xD Thought nothing much of it. Hopped off elsewhere. D< It wasn't until he PMd me one time after we mentioned our IRLselves and talked about ourselves personally that we bonded. So, after that - continual of our messages. <33 Just as good friends.
About a month or so later, he spoke his mind where he told me he thought more of me and our chats. <33 I knew I felt the same, but just not so much. It was only until the 26th of December last year when I realised he meant more to me than anyone. @@;; I guess I won't go into details. But it's true - you only realise how much you feel for that person if you lose them. Unlike before, I wasn't reluctant to get close to him because I only knew him online. I was positive that if it was anyone, Michael would be the person I could be with if we both wanted it to happen enough.
We got even closer still, and soon, we started talking over the phone.
I remember the first phone call we had. I rang him that night not knowing what to expect nor knowing whether I’d speak coherently because of the nerves I was presented with. He answered. The next thing I knew we had been talking for 3hrs+ and during that time we went through so many topics; one of them being a WC. I explained to him that a toilet is also known as a 'WC' a.k.a 'Watercloset' xD He was gob smacked at the sheer awesomeness of it and it's something we'll always laugh at; whether the majority find it mildly amusing or not. Then on a more serious note, we moved onto relationships and the thing I'll never forget as the moment I was talking...
"I just want something... *pause*..."
And we said "meaningful" together.
Then we both stopped again, not quite knowing what to say. I guess we were both pretty stunned, but we just connected in a really odd way. xDD That first call was the best call ever. :3
But onto something else too... Mike is gifted with his looks<33 True, everyone has their opinion but I'm sure mine is shared by the majority of people, that's for sure. :3 He has gems for eyes and they blow me away every time I see them. His physique? boy, don't get me started, in England there'd only be one word to describe him, and that's 'FITTTTT!'. When he comes over to see me next summer, I told him that I'll be snapping at any chick checking him out. D:
He's the most gorgeous piece of eye-candy. <33 But that's only a bonus and half of what he is. <3
Mike is the one thing on the earth I would never want to lose. Whatever happens in our days, there's always time when we get back to each other where I tell him how much I've truly missed him. He makes me feel like I'm the most special person ever, with his soft and delicate words; he gives me more reason to be myself and blossom even more. How do I repay someone that makes me feel like gold? Mike puts me first for everything and I treasure that - it shows how much he cares (although, I know that that's only another admirable quality of his that has always been apparent from the start<33). I guess I can say I've been favourable among a large number of people because it’s rare to find someone like him; he's exquisite, passionate and one of the smartest people I know. To be frank, there's not a moment that passes by with him that I think I shouldn't pose gratitude and I pretty much wouldn't replace him for the world. You can call how I feel for him a lot of things… but whatever it is, it’s too fragile to acknowledge let alone analyse. I’m terrified about how much I feel and would do for him because he’s exceptional and one-of-a-kind; so I guess my feelings of admiration towards him are then nothing out of the blue. I’m also terrified about how much I’ve let myself go for Mike and what I do to just talk to him for that small amount of conversation in the day. Regardless, my days lack the insolence of mundanity they used to bear without the trivial hindrances in my life because he's amazing; he has the ability to cheer me up and make me feel like precious without having to place the effort of doing so. I marvel at his endless attempts to mark my place rightfully by his side too, day after day. Suffice to say, it’s pretty damn evident how much this guy has changed the little things I do in life, but above all I appreciate his feelings of love towards me. It’s something I’ll never take for granted and I’ll never have the capacity to forget such a treasury.
[color=#f55083]______[/color][/align][align=right]Written on: [b]15/O7/2OO7[/b][/align][align=center]
Mike,
I know it's your birthday in a couple of hours.. so I've worked my hardest lately to do something special. I tried doing a lot of things for your birthday all in some sort of daze and confusion because you dislike them so much. I attempted to get you bunny slippers, but I had some very unpleasant PMs saying that my offer was nowhere near acceptable even though i'd been working for the scarf to put in my offer, (Yes, I told you a big fat lie the other day). I worked extra hard on commissions to fund... hence the constant notice on my MSN that I was drawing. Yet, my offer was still low - but I knew this was to be expected, anyway. I sighed inwardly and decided that it would take more than a week/month to get you something you would REALLY adore on Gaia in time for the 16th. Then it hit me and I felt even more silly because if I was going to give you something it wouldn't make sense for me among everyone else to send you pixels; if you want something, I'll sell my things for you - you know that. So realistically, I then thought about it and remembered how you said you believe that something that has been made and given with extra effort and care is something you devoured most. I've never done this before for anyone but I managed it and I wrote something from the heart. No pictures. Just words.
And yes, I guess it's up here too for everyone else to see. Nice announcement huh? xD
I remember what was here before about just being 'friends' and what I wrote sometime last year - you said it was painful to read. I told you I'd write something new from scratch and tell you whole-heartedly what you mean to me. The past year has been a flurry of emotions for me as a result of you<33 I just don't think I've ever had the chance to describe it all - you deserve to know. Everything you read is nothing I've attempted to hold back... except this time, my words won't be erased like the last.
You say that there was some difficulty of trusting me in the past.. for your birthday, I want to give you that trust. I want to make sure that you know that I'm always going to be there for you. You said that you just wanted me and.. well all of this is my offer of me, to you. <3 ~ I want to give you everything I feel inside.. no matter how long this took, so I came up with the ability to compose my emotions into all of this that I've written.
The hours of each day I trifle through glisten and gleam into a day that shines even more. And it's not just the sun. I don't want a thing to change between us- ever. You're the one person I can tell anything and everything to without having to think twice. My smiles fade into unbidden thoughts that perhaps we can really make this work.
Michael Cohen, you're the reason why I do a lot of things. You keep me going everyday. <33 You're my muse. You're my counter part. You're the passion that motivates me day in and out. You give me the energy to do what I enjoy doing the most. You're my very best friend, my lover - the person I wish to give my all to.. and there's not anyone else in the world that I believe deserves it.
Everytime we talk, your wonderous words fascinate me and it leads me into a place where I never thought I could enjoy so much. So much so, that with you, dreams of escaping the inevitable becomes more than a mere possibility. I know how much incessant drones of your life can take it's toll - without having to namedrop - but I believe I can make it go away. Why? Because when I'm with you... new sensations invite me into new perspectives and I want to do the same with you. Everything I've seen once before, to spend it with you would change it entirely. Even the sea, it looks even more welcoming - it now shines like a shattered mirror, each fragment reflecting and dazzling; a cascade of these beautiful new emotions; the way I feel about you. Sometimes I'm even left with the feeling that what I feel for you is the potential energy lodged within an avalanche. Except with you, I'm not running away from it, I'm running towards it.
Remember this:
[i]'Hope is the bird that feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops'[/i]
Hope. It's a pleasant word. Reflects the concept of optimism that's for sure. Only you've made me see the true extent of that word. Since I've met you, those words seem so much more symmetrical and accessible to understand. I use the word hope in context for next year. Although, as each day, week, month and year passes by, I'm convinced that hope is mild in terms of my expectations. I know what to expect and I know how I'm going embrace you.
Even though I'm not with you right now, never feel lonely because I'm with you and I'm always part of you - whatever relationship we hold between one another. If you're ever feeling down or if I'm not here for whatever reason, look over this and realise just how much you have, do and always will brighten up my days to come. I just feel lucky that among everyone else i'm the one you have chosen to dedicate your compassion, graceful bursts of lust and kindess to.
When that moment comes next year, I'm going to join you where we can bask in the comfort of each other's security and watch the shadows lengthen.
And when the time's right in person, you know I'll tell you for real how much I care and hope to love you forever for. That will be the happiest moment I'm sure to ever experience.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm lost in the world that consists of me and you. [i]Just[/i] you and me. The world that has either smiled kindly at us or turned their back on us - but either way, we're left alone.<3
Everyone has a wish and mine is to know and cherish the best person I've ever met. You. When a chance for real happiness comes by, grab it with both hands and devour it. If it lasts five minutes or five lifetimes, it's still worth it. I don't need anyone in the world to tell me that I've found it.
ilyalways, and Happy Birthday <3
[color=#f55083]Love, Ayesha.[/color][/align][/size][/color]
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[color=#399fbb][size=9].___. Poopie-Dotty surprised me with her dedication to me. T____T It's not fair. I only have half a post (With good reason <3)! I'm doing this instead of sleeping (It's around 3:37. I should be nappin' and I didn't get much sleep the night before 'cause I wanted to catch Ayesha online. Bare with me. Sleep = Big Sacrifice for me D; )
Where do I begin on such a magnificent being?
x___o Kyoh~ I don't know how to start. In life, we come across things we can smell, hear, touch, taste, and see. But how do you describe a person that perplexes and twists all your senses and leaves you with just your heart to love with. That's the final sense. That's the only sense to truly grasp Ayesha. Or so I believe.
She is the sunshine on my spotless mind and I don't think the smiles of the moon or the wink of the stars can crack a smile more than Dotty. I tend to be complexed or tangled in my own webs of obscurity or trembling with fear with the incomprehension of certain factors on socializing, but whenever I hear her voice or get a true chance to gaze at her glorious beauty. I just walk straight and leave all my baggage behind. My eyes touch, my faith in her and when I feel a sting of brightness peel off my eyelids. I see the day, I see joy and happiness...
With her smooth charcoal long hair, an alluring silhouette in the twinkle of the night and her smile, worth more than the endless lifetimes of pearls. She truly is a goddess. Her personality is dazzling and unique and I cannot truly be more grateful and appreciative of her company. Her presence, her grace and care.
Despite whatever emotions she feels for me, whether it'd be the friendship I cherish and cuddle, or the something more I yearn for in each and every dream. I know as much as she does, that I love her.
[i]Unknowingly if this can be true, or even real,
Still, I am capable to write what is right, what I feel...
For she has the eyes of a river, peaceful and deep,
and she is my secret, it seems I cannot keep...
For her kiss sinks deep below. One to satisfy,
It leaves my heart in tears, ready to purify...
For in and all, she is dandy she is fine,
I was led hand in hand. To her heart as to mine...
Wherever she goes, whatever path she wants to take,
even if somehow my heart comes to break.
I know that the life we had, were never full of lies,
That even when the time snips all ties.
Gaze into me, windows of my soul. Gaze into me, beautiful eyes...[/i]
To be less abstract. She understands me, I don't have to dwindle and empty myself out with constant introductions of the diverse life, personality and jumbled emotions. She is one of the those people where we both kneel down next to my mess and one by one, we clean up. Smiles and laughs and sweet compliments lifting my spirits with belief and proudness along the way.
That was somewhat abstract here. She isn't my girlfriend. No, the way I feel is much, much more clear and simple. I simply love her...
Hee~~ Now I need some serious sleep. x___x; I need like 10 hours of sleep a day and a small nap from time to time :3 :3
iludotty ~<3
Part II
Yeah, there's a Part 2, I'm writing this on my last day. Ayesha went to a concert with her sister. What a sweet girl x333333. Anyways, it wasn't until now how much I'll be missing her. After today I have to go back to my mother's. For those who know me better, my mother's house is bare with almost no electronics, including not one computer for me. So it'll be very hard for me to come online for more than 10 minutes (During lunchtime at school).
It's January 6th, 2007.
I'll be missing everything about her, let's see if I can find an old p.m I wrote...
[i]God, hearing your voice filled me so much I was so giggly and giddy. I love everything of you. Your voice, looks, talents, thoughts, feelings, soul, heart and mind, your smooth skin, your dashing silhouetted hair falling down onto your bubbly cheeks and smooth lips. Your eyelashes opening the curtain to your magnificent eyes containing hopes and other inspirational adjectives I have yet to consult my dictionary for there are so many.
I can't believe tomorrow is my last day. It pains me, I wish I met you earlier, used my mic. I wish I wasn't so shy or so dumb to not try and figure how to call the Uk before. Through and through all these regrets, there's you. Something on the contrary. Where I find myself thinking of everyday instead of these regrets and bad use of time.[/i]
I'll be missing practically all that and more. She's everything I wanted, needed or even imagined in one human, in one glorious, dazzling and fabulous, unbelievable person. A godsend with a slight problem. She's across an ocean of blue and of my tears now.
It's times like these you don't want to let go the precious moments such as these, right now I'm reading, re-reading, and re-reading our conversation right before she left to do that good deed <33 It's moments like these that time helps you finish it all, one finger at a time as I fall back to loneliness and hurtfulness. Sigh, it's like I said before. Dreams are for the future, moments are for the present and only the present, and moments fade to the past, to the memories. This is one moment I am clinging on forever...
Adieu Ms. Daji. I'll be looking for clouds that have the even slightest resemblance to you. Ah the clouds, lazy, and free-willed. They can do anything, but instead they remain spectators of our lives. Raining during our sadness and toss aside for the bright sun, where our love begun, to shine bright and happily.
I miss you and I love you, Ayesha Daji... ;___; ~<333
Oie! Part III
Wow, it's been awhile. I can't say that my need and dependency on Ayesha has ever decreased. In fact, I love her more and I intend to visit her next summer (2008 ). I must, I shall.
Just everything seems so much better with her. I've altered and changed a lot for her and a good thing too. I guess you can say she is what motivates me to push harder, to try harder and to do everything with more intention of doing it right, rather than doing it fast and quickly. My grades have picked up because I have a dream now. Pass school and I get to go on vacation to London alone. So every little moment I sacrifice not being with her will be for the greater good, no? She isn't the greater good, she is the best and perfect.
Notre Amour Timide
Une chose je ressens, il est tres clair
Unique comme sentiment, ca se voit dans l'air
Il se trouve dans mes veines, surgir de mon coeur
Je pense que je l'aime, en tout cas, elle me donne le bonheur.
Rends-moi au paradis, ses larmes comme la riviere
Donne-moi la vie, son charme, mieux que la misere
Avec ses touchees, mon esprit est a elle
Le soleil couche, la nuit entend ses ailes
Embrasse-moi. accorde une promesse
Voice mes efforts, soyez honetre
Vie jusqu'a mort, t'es la seule a me connaitre
Vos mots sont mes lois, restez ma princesse
Perdu dans le noir, notre amour a l'ombre
Mes pensees, notre future, sont bien sombres
Meme en aimaint l'autre, un etranger
Elle saura toujours mes emotions, la verite
Oublions le passe, notre courte histoire
Reviens a moi, donne-moi la joie
Effacez mes larmes, mon espoir noir
Soyez ma couronne, j'ecoute sa voix
Parce qu'au moment, ou vous retomberez dans ma vie
Mes reves casseront, le temps de "si"
Je vous chuchoterais dans l'oreille, doux et gentil:
"Je t'aime ma cherie, bienvenue au paradis..."
There are no accents in that poem, I don't have accents on my computer and chances are, most of you won't understand any if not all of it n_____n;;;;
Hm... Part IV
Has it been a year? More? As always, my time with her brush between my fingers as fast as my emotions trigger as she bestows her words to me. Hm... I wrote something to her a bit back, I'll change it to fit best this context: "Oh, how much brilliancy do I have to ignore the proof that validates what I needlessly need to deduce. That you truly are mine and mine only. My assertion in my mind keeps distorting into an image I worry constantly: You with someone else. Someone who has more security and believes that he truly is up to par, who merits you in every majestic and bewildering aspect that simply makes me light-headed with wonder at how I could be so fortunate, so... lucky. Your words and faithfulness is benign. Your intelligence and third-eye of wisdom is full of promise. Your future is gleaming with prosperity and success. Your hand swerves with a wonderful talent like a slow foxtrot to a melodious tune. Your outer beauty has no flaws or shortcomings. It stuns me with gloom eyes in comparison to me and my physical appearence. Desire to feel your silky coiled hair, yearning that your hands endow mine with their warm touch. Pining away the time 'till I hear from you again.
That evidence of your words projecting such sincerity and art of how you feel for me. The snapshots of pleasurable places on your body and moments I conjecture with a fetish and perverted tongue. The sacrifices and adaption you willingly incline yourself to provide for me, the mere fact of money spent calling me from afar for your own supposed essentials of hearing my voice. My voice that whispers love and adoration for you, but does not speak aloud his troubled and silly mind.
Now, here I am. Lingering in the evening, sauntering each meaningless action that pertains an absence of you. A female deity to everyone. Someone that perfection attempts to define by itself, but only radiates it more by it's incompetence to accomplish the task that's beyond the bounds of possibility.
Sigh, this uneasiness and difficulty to cope is only appeased by your constant words of integrity and logic. When the clock chimes that horrid and repugnant hour of sleep, I weep wondering what diversion could possible be in a remotely near comparison to you. My singing dove and sugar pastry.
Illuminate me with something inspiring and endearing from your heart. Something of the sort. I simply wish to talk to you once more.
Je t'aime, pour toujours, pour l'eternite..."[/size][/color]
