When is it acceptable to tell someone you love them for...

[Genyusai]

Astral Felidae

Yeah. Believe me, I know I'm a LUCKY girl.

I still think that it's entirely possible for a person to find someone willing to put selflessness on par with survival.

Well, what's wrong with having your cake and eating it too, especially if no one else has a problem with it? I generally agree that humans are inherently wired like animals to desire multiple sexual partners, so as long as those relationships aren't built on lies and deceit... what's truly wrong with it?

Yeah no, I don't have a problem with polyamory per se, but people *do* get hurt, sometimes people lie in order to avoid hurting others when it just creates the start of a brewing shitstorm of emotion and then everyone suffers. When done right it can be very enjoyable but like Murphy's Law states, s**t happens.

[Cat Whispers]

Dolls and Dragons

Astral Felidae

Wow, that's really amazing.
#relationshipgoals
Really though, that's all really interesting. I'm poly too, but the whole thing is pretty new to me and my fiance. He is not poly, or at least, he doesn't know if he is yet. But I am. I just recently met a girl that I'm going a little crazy over and, while my fiance is cool with me being poly and is willing to work with the idea of an open relationship, he's still struggling with the whole thing. Which means I'm struggling with it too. ^^

The thing is open relationship and Poly are not the same thing. Open relationship is just sex and fun. Poly is taking the whole picture. Responsibilities, bad days, good days. Being Poly means the other SO accepts and wants it, not just "oh, okay.. yea, have fun.. I'll sit here." If it makes him uncomfortable, don't do it. I'm not trying to be rude, or offend you. I've just seen a lot of relationships crash because of someone wanting to be with both, and not seeing that it hurts one of them. That's why the Sister Wives show is such a mess, and we have things like " Escaping Polygamy." There has to be a balance, a friendship, an acceptance there.

Oh, believe me, I know. I sort of use "open relationship" as a blanket term when I shouldn't. I'm not interested in just going around ******** everyone I think is attractive. This girl, I really really like her. And my fiance is totally chill with her, and they both are aware of each other's relationship with me. So far they have both been open and honest with me about their needs too, which is equally important. Thank you very much for your advice and words c:

[Cat Whispers]

Genyusai

Astral Felidae

Yeah. Believe me, I know I'm a LUCKY girl.

I still think that it's entirely possible for a person to find someone willing to put selflessness on par with survival.

Well, what's wrong with having your cake and eating it too, especially if no one else has a problem with it? I generally agree that humans are inherently wired like animals to desire multiple sexual partners, so as long as those relationships aren't built on lies and deceit... what's truly wrong with it?

Yeah no, I don't have a problem with polyamory per se, but people *do* get hurt, sometimes people lie in order to avoid hurting others when it just creates the start of a brewing shitstorm of emotion and then everyone suffers. When done right it can be very enjoyable but like Murphy's Law states, s**t happens.

Well, conversely, monogamy has that same caveat. People get hurt in mono relationships, too. Every person is different, which means every relationship is different.
But yeah, s**t definitely does happen.

[Nephaele]

Astral Felidae

Oh, believe me, I know. I sort of use "open relationship" as a blanket term when I shouldn't. I'm not interested in just going around ******** everyone I think is attractive. This girl, I really really like her. And my fiance is totally chill with her, and they both are aware of each other's relationship with me. So far they have both been open and honest with me about their needs too, which is equally important. Thank you very much for your advice and words c:

It's really best if you don't use the term if you don't mean it. It's really degrading to the lifestyle. And it's not even going around ********, either. It's being loyal to the one's you choose and choose you. Just be careful. It's is a balance that can be trying. It does take work. If you need someone to talk to let me know. I'm always around, and both in the poly lifestyle as well as the BDSM lifestyle.

[Genyusai]

Astral Felidae

Yeah, that's not poly. At all. THAT is what gives poly people a bad name. If you're not honest with EVERYONE about EVERY aspect of the relationship, you're not poly. You're cheating.
I don't want to do that to my fiance at all. While I do find that I can love other people, it doesn't diminish my love for him. I he knows that, which is why we're able to build toward one or both of us having other SOs. It's actually taken me a long time to get to the point where I felt comfortable pursuing another SO. In fact, my fiance LITERALLY PUSHED me toward the girl I'm seeing now to get her number. He's been really supportive, despite the struggle.

Thank you very much c:

I thought I was being insecure, btw.. I thought I was being the immature one. I told her I specifically did not agree with it, and almost broke up with her at the time, she wouldn't have it.. She began bringing in her depressive mod and suicide attempts if I left her.

Funny thing though, I did meet a girl online and we became friends, and she became *extremely* jealous. It wasn't even a romantic thing, but I was definitely infatuated with her for a while. I wanted to meet her so bad but knew I couldn't... But in the end I didn't care anymore, my ex had left me for her girlfriend and I bought a plane ticket and went to see my friend. emotion_c8

I would never push anyone to do anything they don't want, and like hell would I let someone do that to me now.

[reveiller]

i think after a minimum of 3 months, where you spent time together at least 4-5 days each week

also when you feel it, as dr seuss puts it "you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"

[Genyusai]

Astral Felidae

Well, conversely, monogamy has that same caveat. People get hurt in mono relationships, too. Every person is different, which means every relationship is different.
But yeah, s**t definitely does happen.

Yeah of course, in any relationship, by anyone, mono, poly, trans, queer, etc etc. I used to think all these genders other than male/female were joke or some internet tumblr's insane ramblings of a delusional manic-depressive mind, but when I actually got to TALK to some of these very people in the flesh, you see how sweet and human and damaged they really are. How much they suffer for being something they can't control. It's no different than someone being gay and lesbian, except to a much deeper extent.

[Cat Whispers]

Dolls and Dragons

Astral Felidae

Oh, believe me, I know. I sort of use "open relationship" as a blanket term when I shouldn't. I'm not interested in just going around ******** everyone I think is attractive. This girl, I really really like her. And my fiance is totally chill with her, and they both are aware of each other's relationship with me. So far they have both been open and honest with me about their needs too, which is equally important. Thank you very much for your advice and words c:

It's really best if you don't use the term if you don't mean it. It's really degrading to the lifestyle. And it's not even going around ********, either. It's being loyal to the one's you choose and choose you. Just be careful. It's is a balance that can be trying. It does take work. If you need someone to talk to let me know. I'm always around, and both in the poly lifestyle as well as the BDSM lifestyle.

Yeah, I know. It's still something I'm getting used to ^^;
That's great, thank you! May I add you as a friend?
Also, I hope you get better. Being sick is such a bummer, especially a serious illness. I can't pretend to know how that feels but I'm glad to see you're at least living your life the way it makes you happy.

[Cat Whispers]

Genyusai

Astral Felidae

Well, conversely, monogamy has that same caveat. People get hurt in mono relationships, too. Every person is different, which means every relationship is different.
But yeah, s**t definitely does happen.

Yeah of course, in any relationship, by anyone, mono, poly, trans, queer, etc etc. I used to think all these genders other than male/female were joke or some internet tumblr's insane ramblings of a delusional manic-depressive mind, but when I actually got to TALK to some of these very people in the flesh, you see how sweet and human and damaged they really are. How much they suffer for being something they can't control. It's no different than someone being gay and lesbian, except to a much deeper extent.

Oh yeah, absolutely. One of my best friends growing up is trans ftm. And a lot of us in our circle of friends has known forever that he was never happy being a girl. And now that he's (mostly) out that he's a boy, I can see he's so much happier for it.

[Nephaele]

Astral Felidae

Yeah, I know. It's still something I'm getting used to ^^;
That's great, thank you! May I add you as a friend?
Also, I hope you get better. Being sick is such a bummer, especially a serious illness. I can't pretend to know how that feels but I'm glad to see you're at least living your life the way it makes you happy.

Yea, it takes time. There are still times I catch myself looking between my guys while they are bullshitting and being asses to each other. And go " Wait, this is real..."
Of course! I like friends! Heheh.

Thank you. I've found support, be it friends and lovers beside me, or people that care about be on the internet, is the best medicine. Sometimes I need a kick in the a** to be reminded to not give up. Being happy has definitely helped as well. <3

[Cat Whispers]

Dolls and Dragons

Astral Felidae

Yeah, I know. It's still something I'm getting used to ^^;
That's great, thank you! May I add you as a friend?
Also, I hope you get better. Being sick is such a bummer, especially a serious illness. I can't pretend to know how that feels but I'm glad to see you're at least living your life the way it makes you happy.

Yea, it takes time. There are still times I catch myself looking between my guys while they are bullshitting and being asses to each other. And go " Wait, this is real..."
Of course! I like friends! Heheh.

Thank you. I've found support, be it friends and lovers beside me, or people that care about be on the internet, is the best medicine. Sometimes I need a kick in the a** to be reminded to not give up. Being happy has definitely helped as well. <3

Really though, haha. It's pretty surreal ^^

-hugs- You're very brave!

[Silent Sympathy]

Genyusai

Silent Sympathy

Genyusai

Silent Sympathy

Genyusai

Never. You should never even bother, people are liars and only out for themselves. If you think they like you, they only like you for your vag or because they can get something out of you. What you think you have, you don't, it doesn't last, and it's fake anyway and when it ends, it hurts.

So never.

The bitter is real.
Daaamn.

Nobody asked you. rolleyes

No, but this is a public forum. ;D

Yeah, and a street is a public place. You going to interrupt a group of people speaking just because you're within earshot? rolleyes

Yeah, dead end logic there, bud.

[Nephaele]

Astral Felidae

Dolls and Dragons

Astral Felidae

Yeah, I know. It's still something I'm getting used to ^^;
That's great, thank you! May I add you as a friend?
Also, I hope you get better. Being sick is such a bummer, especially a serious illness. I can't pretend to know how that feels but I'm glad to see you're at least living your life the way it makes you happy.

Yea, it takes time. There are still times I catch myself looking between my guys while they are bullshitting and being asses to each other. And go " Wait, this is real..."
Of course! I like friends! Heheh.

Thank you. I've found support, be it friends and lovers beside me, or people that care about be on the internet, is the best medicine. Sometimes I need a kick in the a** to be reminded to not give up. Being happy has definitely helped as well. <3

Really though, haha. It's pretty surreal ^^

-hugs- You're very brave!

//Hugs back// Thank you.

[Sea Lemon]

Acceptable?