(( I forgot what tavern/pub we were in. >< I can't remember if it was named at any point or not but I might as well assume its the Nine Swords if you don't mind. I just wanted to mark the location. ))
arrow The Nine Swords Pub
Tenkai quirked an eyebrow as Sivak tried to make sense of his words. It was satisfying for him to see a mind at work, to see the wheels turning knowing that he had a hand in sparking that thought. Her conclusions seemed a little...grim, to say the least, but at least he had gotten her thinking.
"What I'm saying is that you should not be burdened by your past," he added. "Attachment is the root of worldly suffering, and if you are fettered to your past, how can you truly have a future?"
Hopefully this would shed more light on what Tenkai was trying to explain to her. Living in the now while creating a better future without attaching oneself to neither past, present nor future. It was a mindset that a number of people valued, though for some it was more of an excuse to let go and carelessly thrust themselves through life. Sometimes literally, in fact. In that sense, it was more of a selective attachment where people were driven by their desires to keep themselves out of the past rather than doing away with desire altogether. Of course, Tenkai had learned that people like that had done away with the drawn-out adages that monks like him were so fond of and were content with the short and simple "yolo".
However, if there was anyone who needed to listen to Tenkai's advice, it was Tenkai himself. The moment Sivak mentioned the Mage's Guild, his mood took a dark turn. Up until now Tenkai had been quite an amiable presence, but the more Sivak spoke about the unfortunate fate of the Mage's guild, the faster the monk's mirthful countenance would bleed away. He did not appear to be angered, especially not at Sivak. He had become solemn and grim, eyes downcast as the scars left by his despair began to throb with a dull ache.
If Sivak didn't notice this, she would surely notice the giant panda bleating sadly at the sight of his melancholic master.
"I was there," he said sharply. "I was there when it happened. It had nothing to do with 'thugs with spells'." He turned his head up, looking at Sivak with a gaze so very different from what she had seen of him earlier that it might as well have been a different pair of eyes.
Tenkai
was there. He had seen the death and destruction that had befallen the guild. He had felt the dark presence that had tried to impose its will on the guild, and how it would have done the same to all of Sigil if they hadn't stopped it. He remembered all of those who had given their lives to protect not just the guild, but also their home, the city and all of the worlds that would've been affected by its destruction. The Mage's Guild lost a lot more than "face" that day, and Tenkai had seen it all personally.
Thankfully, Tenkai managed to purge himself of his regret just as he had on that day. Pain like that never really went away. Just because someone doesn't live in the past doesn't mean that the past never happened. It always comes back in some shape or form, just as every form of evil Tenkai ever encountered always found a way of coming back. It was the fact that he chose not to live in the past that allowed him to move forward and continue fighting.
"Forgive me," he said with a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "I did not mean to be so curt."
"Anyways, I think that if you're looking for a way to get yourself started in the city, you should first find yourself some form of lodging. There are some municipal housing projects sponsored by some of Sigils factions and companies, but if you're looking for something simple, there are always more old-fashioned types who will spare a room as payment for work. You can't walk too far without tripping over an inn in a city like this. If you don't have the money to stay there, you could always apply for a job. Or maybe an apprenticeship under someone in the Market Ward if you're looking for something specific? You said you were involved in 'research'. What kind of research?"