Megathread! (ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?)

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

beef. it's whats for dinner.

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

What did the right eye say to the left eye?

"Between you and me, something smells."

my mama always told me, there's a reason you have two ears but only one mouth!

[crotchetySand]

Keshinomi

What's as big as Dumbo but weighs nothing?
His shadow!

Yeah, okay, I suck at jokes.
sweatdrop

Most of the ones I know are really REALLY offensive and inappropriate...
So I won't post them.
>~<

Could anyone help me?
Achievement Thread

I need help with:
Threadmaster
Inquisitor

aww but we want offensive and inappropriate!

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot.

tell that to pinocchio

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

Amor Vincit

The creator of the knock knock joke should get a Nobel prize.

You know...like "No bell?"...No? Okay.

I hear you've been talking to yourself again o.O

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

no, but I've given ghost pepper sauce a go. cat_pirate

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

I hate hypocrites. But I am one, so I'm okay with that.

alley cats have been listening to you. that's why they're yowling right now cat_scream

[crotchetySand]

her354

Poison dart frogs loose their toxins after several months of being kept in captivity.

well, let them "free range" a bit then. how much poison are you collecting again? cat_biggrin

[crotchetySand]

her354

Chewing gum is illegal in Singapore.

I'm sympathetic to the plight of chewing gum too

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

Pigs can't look up at the sky.

so that's why they can't fly!

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

Men are more likely to be struck by lightening than women.

Married men are reported to live longer than single men---but to married men it only seems longer...

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

Elvis was naturally blonde.

I was too when I was two, but where has it ever got me?

[crotchetySand]

t a p e

Helping back out!

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

- Claustrophobic.

somewhere, somehow, somebody is keeping an eye on you o.O

[crotchetySand]

Amor Vincit

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

you don't say!

[Keshinomi]

sirtes70rr

I just don't want to upset anyone... unu