About the Lovely Moi

Queer and Imperfect: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual. (Please note that I did not invent this concept. It's a popular fanfic premise currently sweeping the net.) Congratulations!! You are now the proud owner of the fully-automated Queer and Imperfect unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your spaz, please pay close attention to the following instructions.
Basic Information.
Name: Queer and Imperfect, Midget, Mello
Date Of Manufacture: December 17, 1993.
Place Of Manufacture: The United States of America.
Gender: Female.
Age: SIxteen.
Height: Short. Approx 5’0. Maybe.
Weight: Average.
Your Queer and Imperfect unit comes with the following accessories:
3 different outfits.
A notebook.
A copy of Keeping You a Secret.
A drawing pad.
Various yaoi and yuri mangas.
Several boxes of Japanese candies.
Several Boxes of Chocolate.
Programming:
Your Queer and Imperfect unit is fairly amiable and will usually carry out the following functions:
Fanfiction Author: Your Queer and Imperfect unit enjoys writing and will write nearly anything for you. This includes yaoi/yuri.
Artist: Although not very good, the Queer and Imperfect unit can draw you whatever you like... unless she is in the BORED mode.
Bodyguard: The Queer and Imperfect unit has taken self-defense classes and sadly, is of no use in this, unless you own one of the exclusive MINION units (BILLY unit, STEVEN unit, AARON unit, etc.). In this case, she will manipulate one of these units to defend you.
Entertainer: The Queer and Imperfect unit is great for entertaining guests (unless they are homophobic or annoying, in which case she will bite their heads off).
Debater: Queer and Imperfect unit likes debating and will fight your battles of wit for you. Be prepared to feel extremely dumb, though.
Maid: Be warned, your Queer and Imperfect unit will never perform this task. If she agrees, be prepared for a messier mess then you had before.
Japanese Tutor: Your Queer and Imperfect unit has taken one course of Japanese. She can teach you the basics or more important things like how to call someone a retard.
Your Queer and Imperfect unit will come with seven different settings:
Hyper(default mode)
Irritated/Angry
World Domination
Sarcastic
Emo
Heartbroken
Bored
Logic
The Queer and Imperfect unit is known to be usually in Hyper mode. However, at times, she will shift into one of the other six modes.
The Irritated/Angry setting is activated when the Queer and Imperfect unit is exposed to homophobes, gender inequality, Tila Tequila, Fruits Basket, or stupid and vain people. DO NOT EVER POKE OR STROKE THE HAIR OF YOUR UNIT OR IT WILL RESULT IN CERTAIN FATAL INJURY BY BEING BITTEN OR WORLD DOMINATION MODE! This setting can also result in your unit shouting in Russian, Japanese or Spanish.
The World Domination setting is easy to activate and will cause much mayhem, rabid squirrels, men crying and neonazi-ism (But the Jews will be spared.). Don't activate, just don't.
The Emo setting is very easy to activate. Simply get into a rational discussion about the world or life with your Queer and Imperfect unit, and pretty soon, your unit will run away crying. She will hide in a corner and attempt to cut herself. If there is a Billy unit nearby or an Aaron unit she can talk to, everything will be fine. If not, then send us the body you find and we will refund your money.
The Heartbreak setting will activate any time the Queer and Imperfect unit breaks contact with a “NR” unit or thinks of her NR unit. This setting can (and often will) result the switch into Emo mode.
The Bored setting will activate anytime the Queer and Imperfect unit has nothing to do, has no games, or is feeling uncreative.
The Sarcastic mode activates when your unit comes in contact with obvious statements, any event that contains you taking her into a school environment, or sometimes alongside the Irritated mode. She can be quite cruel but she will later apologize. Not.
The Logic mode can activate after Bored mode or pre-EMO mode. This mode makes your unit sit in a corner and think for long periods of time. Do not attempt to talk to or approach your unit at this time or it will result in you having to be a guinea pig in an, usually, injury prone experiment. This mode can also be activated after your unit reads Death Note or Loveless.
Cleaning.
The Queer and Imperfect unit is fully capable of cleaning herself, but may request Vanilla scented, Shampoo, Shower Gel, Bubble Bath and Lotion, a remote controllable rubber duckie, and a water resistant radio.
FAQ
Q: Uh, my Queer and Imperfect is yelling at me, but I don’t understand what she is saying. Translate before I die!
A: Ahhhh. You have most likely upset your unit. She is shouting at you an Japanese. The direct translation of what she is saying is “To your father, do the playing of the flute.” Since we are a respectable organization, we cannot give you the slang meaning of that phrase, but we guess that you can figure it out.
Q: My Queer and Imperfect unit had just bitten my Steven unit. His arm is getting infected. What should I do?
A: If your Queer and Imperfect unit has gotten her rabies vaccination all should be fine. If not, take the Steven unit to the hospital now. Right Now.
Q: My Queer and Imperfect unit is kawaii and fluffy. Can I put a collar on her and take her on a walk?
A: If you have purchased a STHORM unit or a MARQUESSA unit, have them play with your unit’s hair. This will calm her down and then you may take her on a walk. Keep in mind that your Queer and Imperfect unit likes big black leather collars.
Q: My Queer and Imperfect unit is so small and cute. Does she have a GIRLFRIEND setting?
A: If your Queer and Imperfect unit is had not come in contact with a “N.R.” unit and has never been in heartbreak mode and you are an awesome female, then MAYBE this can be unlocked. If you are a male, just don’t try. Just don’t.
Q: My neighbor has gotten a certain pop star duo unit, and my Queer and Imperfect unit is flipping out and trying to get over there. What should I do?
A: So we see… your neighbor must have purchased the t.A.T.u. units. Let your Queer and Imperfect unit go over there to meet the Lena Katina unit and the Yulia Volkova unit.

Warranty.
With proper care and maintenance, the Queer and Imperfect unit will live for many years yet to come, until Kira's Will decides to take her from this world. However, if you can't stand to have her bugging you any longer, merely offer to buy her all the yaoi mangas, chocolate and finger puppets she'd like on the condition that she leaves. She'll be gone in a jiff.

Click Here to Visit xXxQueer and ImperfectxXx's FanFiction Homepage









Hey!
Mello's property rights
x0x_iicandi_x0x owns my rights
KanesRainbowBox owns my hair!!! >.<