Me!
I was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens,
Til my boyfriend kicked me out in one of those crushing scenes.
What was I to do, where was I to go
I was out on my fanny.
So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door,
I was there to sell make up but the father saw more,
I had style, I had flair, I was there,
That's how I became the nanny.
Who would have guessed that the girl we described
was just exactly what the doctor prescribed?
Now, the father finds me beguiling, buzz off C.C.,
The kids are actually smiling, such joie de vivre
I'm the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan.
The flashy girl from Flushing, the Nanny named Fran!
quotes
-"Oy."
-"Don't tell me to focus! You're gonna turn my room into a cedar closet while I rot in Florida curled up next to Grandma Yetta on sheets designed by Rubbermaid!"
-"Well I have no idea."
-"A woman comes walking outta Europe with a dining room table strapped to her back, she could be anyone's relative!"
-"I'M A HOOKA?!?! Well, that explains the shoes..."
-"I'm surprised I can even get dressed in th morning! OH MY GOD! Oh, it's a thong..."
-"Cluck like a chicken."
-"Mazel tov, mazel tov, mazel tov, mazel tov, hayyyy nayyyy noooo!"
-"I can't decide whether to vote for Nixon or Kennedy."
-"I'M ENGAGED?!"
-"These two meshuggeners bought an orphan for 17 cents a day. What a steal!"
-"OOOHHH!"
-"Heyyyy ladyyyyy!"
-"In this country, when a girl turns 17, she gets a car. Unless you live in my neighborhood. Then it's a car or a nose job. ... I got the nose job!" (blooper)
-" 'What are those two roller coasters?' 'Fun!' "
-"I goo, I joo... I Jew! IMA JEW! IMA JEW!"
-"HELLPPPPPPPP!.... Oh my Godddd... I just heard my own voice!"
-"HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU!"
-"Please, if I wanted to be revealing, I'd unbutton these buttons and I wouldn't have worn a bra. Oh, WOO, peekaboo!"
-"I never thought I'd say this, but... I want to hear Miss Fine's voice."
-"Maxwellllll! Maxwellllll! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
-"Nanny Fine, how many muppets had to die for that coat?"
-"Miss Fine. Fran... Franala."
-" 'You know I don't like to be filmed while I'm eating.' 'That's why there's more footage of bigfoot than her.' "
-"The nuchshlep! The tag along, the pathetic loser living on the cusp of other people's lives."
-" 'Fran, have you seen the Double-Stuf Oreos?' 'Brighton...' "
-"Oy, that tuker is a kazunta wedding!"
-"MORTY!!!"
-"Morty, do up your pants. The boy's coming in."
-"Keep your glasses on. Daddy's clipping his toenails, and those things can FLY!"
-"Eee eee eee!"
-"Oh, MOOOOOONAAA!"
-" 'How much is that dress in Macy's window?' 'Who cares? It'll be at Loehmann's on sale!' "
-"Eh herrrrrrr!"
-"Oh, I'm having that dream again! OH! Mr. Sheffield, what are you doing in -- your room?"
-"Good morning, everyone!"
-"Well, I think my chances are only going to decrease as I slowly morph into Yetta!"
-" 'Oh, I could just eat him up!' 'Get my son away from my mother!' "
-"Hi, we're out right now doing something fabulous, and you're trying to call people who aren't even home. Please leave a message after the laugh. Eh herrrrrrrrr!!!!!"
-"Well this sucks."
-"You know, that mustard really clears out the nasal passages. I like it!"
-"Shister Meffield!"
-"Nope, took it back. How's it feel?"
-"Oh, I'm sorry. Did this fork accidentally puncture your tuchus?"
-"There's a whole other weiner to schnitzel."
-" 'Would you like some more, Sylvia?' 'What, did we just meet?' "
-"WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?"
-"Oh, Mr. Sheffield!"
-"Hoop to the laylee hoop ta ta!"
-"In my own little corner in my own little chair, I can..."
-"Barbra?!"
-"All I hear is Fran, Fran, Fran. If I hear the f word one more time..."
-"Did you just call me the N WORD?!"
-"I lost my glasses case... and the boy."
-"Can't your wife just say over and over how much she loves her husband? When her parents are moving in?"
-"MA!"
-"Oh, I'm dead? That's so saaaaaaaaaaaad..."
-"The inside's pudd'n!"
-" 'Knock knock!' 'OH WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' "
-"Gave, fell in my purse, who remembers?"
-"NILES AND MS BABCOCK ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR!, 'with who!?' WWWWWWWITH EACHOTHAA!!"
-" 'Do I sound like I'm coming down with a cold?' 'Constantly.' "
-"Maxwell, you described her laugh all wrong in your letters. It's nothing like the QE II adrift in a fog!"
-" 'Gee Fran, you were in a hurrry!' 'Yeah there musta been a sale somewhere.' "
-"Oh, you have no idea how complicated I am."
-" 'What's that?' 'That's... the nanny."
-"GOOD GOD, IT'S MULTIPLYING!"
-"This dishrag had seen better days." *Enter Miss Babcock* "Were your ears burning?"
-" 'You were saying you don't want Margaret to go on the kibbutz because that's where you lost your...' 'Uhmm... Hat.' "
-" 'Somewhere you'll never get near.' 'Your mattress?' 'His.' "
-"tommy, cats and hair?!"
-"oh mista sheffield, mind if i dust your desk with my tuchus? -niles-"
-"Did Caca do a no-no in the kitchen?"
-"Do you know what makes me feel better when I'm sad? -A fifth of scotch and a pack of batteries?"
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