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Occupation

High School Student

Interests

Favorite Movies/Anime

Yu Yu Hakusho Hellsing Black Lagoon

Favorite TV Shows

I don't really watch TV

Favorite Reads

I read a lot of books by R.L. Stine For mangas I've read Fruits Basket Guru Guru Pon-chan and Black Lagoon

Favorite Music/Bands

Ice Cube (rapper) DMX (also a rapper) T-Bone (Christain rapper) Ray Boltz (Gospel) Acon (A /few/ songs) Daddy Yankee (A /few/ songs)

Hobbies/Interests

Writing/Drawing Talkin' with friends Anime (violent ones) Reading (violent ones as well) Being lazy at school (I do enough s**t at home) Violence (as a whole)

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~Havin's Haven~

• (07/31/2008 01:16 am) Behold the funny, Pixii-san~ ^^
• (05/23/2008 02:14 pm) funny YYH comic (Kurama & Hiei find yaoi)

Comments

Viewing 10 of 20 comments.

Report | 07/26/2013 11:40 am

shadowstar32

I am ish alive read journal entery <<

Report | 03/23/2009 2:29 am

kuro_hinote_katana

Oh man, I feel horrible. I completely forgot about this conversation. Well, I'm finally going to reply.





Hm. Well, for me, most of my family isn't even in America, so they're not around to annoy us and I can't really get annoyed at them for being neglectful since I hardly know they exist. But I can get where you're coming from somewhat, especially the part about where all these people are when you're sick or something. Whenever I'm sick, my parents get mad at me even more than usual. I get yelled at for being sick and everything. They don't try to take care of me, they just yell, which obviously doesn't do anything. ^^" Yeah, I have a potty mouth. Yeah, you partly didn't know because of Neopets and partly because I really only cuss if I'm mad. I can completely understand where you're coming from with the teacher thing. All they should really care about is if you're excused or not. And if they want to care why you're late, they should at least find out to be nice, not to be a wannabe cop or something. -.- Yes, well, like we've said, being in school doesn't mean you're smart. If anything, you're smart if you hate school. Heh. As for parents again. Well, for my parents I think they're the way they are because they never really had parents when they were growing up. Their parents died at an early age. My parents depended on themselves and occasionally their siblings, which I guess is why they expect me to do things on my own and also to help my little sister, just like how their older siblings helped them.


I feel like I know you and Shadow well, and used to know Koji pretty well. As for the others, like Traya, White, and Icent...well, not so much anymore. (And on an unrelated note, this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately and I wanted someone to talk to about it. I don't know why, but for some reason I keep thinking about Traya. I really miss the guy. I never really knew him as well as I know you and Shadow, but I don't know, I guess I knew enough about him to want to get to know him better? Ugh, it's weird. I don't know how to describe it. >.< So I guess I'll leave it at that.) I think what I meant was that it's ok to have grudges, but don't let it consume you and be the only thing you think about. Thinking back on it, the thing with my mom wasn't actually that serious. But at the time it meant a lot to me I suppose.


Well, if you want to try convincing your mom to get your social security number back, just say that not all of you have to work at once. Say one or two kids work with the others stay back and take care of her. That way more money will be coming into your family while your mom is still being taken care of. And I'm pretty sure schools are supposed to have your social security number. I don't know how to begin asking around for it though. Yeah, freshmen tend to be worse since they're the youngest. *is pat* ^.^


Yeah, I don't know Chinese cuss words. I learned my Chinese from the things my parents taught me. They don't teach me cuss words, I don't know them. I don't remember if running made it worse or not. Sure, we can be angry together. Not for long though. Anger isn't always the best thing to feel for very long. That's the same with my mom too. She starts conversations, not me. If I start it, it's me needing to ask her if I can go somewhere. I don't do things like telling her little stories. I found out at a young age my mom doesn't care about anything unless it's useful to her. Like when I was younger, I had to make cards for her because the school made us celebrate Mother's Day. I would give her the card and her first reaction would be, "What are you giving me this for? It's useless, I don't want it." and by the end of the day, my gift would be in the trash.


For some reason, I don't think we really have "emos" at my school. There's a few suicidal kids around, but no group labeled "emo". It's weird. If I had a choice of what I could wear, we'd be the same, Havin-kun. ^.^ And I've also never 

Report | 09/26/2008 5:34 pm

SirHavin

It's okay. I know how ya feel, dude. 'Cept...I don't do my homework. -shifty eyes-

Report | 09/26/2008 5:23 pm

kuro_hinote_katana

*has read your comment* I'll respond some time soon...or eventually. I've been staying up late for homework the past few nights and I'm a bit too tired to come up with thoughtful responses right now. Sorry.

Report | 09/25/2008 7:17 pm

SirHavin

Again, your parents sound like mine. -_-+ I bottle things up too, as you know. *tilts head* ...Family... Hmmm... I guess I kinda believe that way. I can trust my brother and sister. As for everyone else in my family... I love my grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle (all on my mom's side), mom, and dad...but I don't trust 'em with a lot of things. As for the rest of my family... I don't care what my brother and sister tell me, they were never there for us when we needed them. Where the ******** are they when we're here starving? Where are they when we're sick? When we're alone? When we need money? They're not around. ******** all of them. My other aunts. Uncles. Cousins. Expecially my grandparents on my dad's side. All of 'em. My grandma (dad's mom) called me on my birthday. She said happy birthday and that she loved me. Then she paused. Like she wanted me to say it back. I just said, "Yeah. Thanks." Then she goes, "Well... Have a nice birthday, mija." I was like, "Mm-hm." Then I gave the phone to my dad. I don't like to talk to her. *clears ichy throat* ... *blinks* Damn, Nancy-sama. I didn't know you had such a potty-mouth. Heh-heh. Maybe it's because we usually talk on neopets and on that dumbass site we're not allowed to cuss, but still. *shrugs* Ah well. Learn somethin' knew everyday. *rubs throat* ...Anyway, back to the subject. Damn, dude. We're a lot a like, huh? But it's kinda cool, no? *nods, arms crossed* Another teacher got on my nerves again. I came in late Tuesday and he was like, "Where were you?" It was his additude... *twitchy eye* I can't stand it when teachers think they have authority over me. It pisses me off. I pointed at my pass. He was just like, "That doesn't tell me where you were. Just tells me you're excused." I was thinkin, "Why the ******** should it matter if it's /excused/? If I was skippin', it would've been marked 'unexcused'? Would it make any damn sense to even come to class?" But I decided that would make me sound defensive for no reason. So I just blankly replied, "I just got dropped off. I'm sick." Then his tone changed. *smirks bitterly* He was like, "Oh." Then this kid of Russian decent was like, "Yeah, everyone's getting sick. It's cold-season." Thinkin' about it even now gets on my nerves. I'll bet you anything those a*****e teachers (that science teacher, who's also my brother's football couch, who STILL hasn't givin' him his ********' playbook yet -.-+; and math teacher, a pregnant b***h) will both be like, "Where have you been?" *sighs angrily* Then I'm gunna be pssed the rest of the day... *runs back back through hair* Anyway, back to you... Yeah, teachers only work for the ********' paycheck. They don't give a s**t about the kids. *blinks slowly* For someone so smart, Nancy-sama, you sure sound like you seriously hate school. Then again, teachers have said the same thing to me. My math and communications teachers are always like, "Toya! These test scores are so high! They're next to perfect! You should be easily passing this class. Why aren't you?" I just shrug and say, "I don't like school." Then they're like, "Obviously." And I'm thinkin', "Then why the hell did you ask me that? Stupidass teachers." Then I roll my eyes and go back to my seat. *shakes head* ...As for parents. *nods* It's /exactly/ like that. But I'm tellin' you, not all parents are like that. So why do ours gotta be?


^^ Jes. We do know you well. Do you feel you know us well, Nancy-sama? *tilts head* Hmmm...controlling grudges... I'm slow tonight, what exactly do you mean by that? *inclines head* You wanna talk about it...? The thing with your mom?


I have no idea... *rubs chin pensively* I think my mom needs to go into the cities to get 'em. Some buiding. We went twice before, but then she stopped. All three of us (me, my brother, and sister) are convinced my mom did it on purpose. Lost our social security numbers, that is. She doesn't want us to work 'cause then she would be lonely. But, dude. What the hell are we sup

Report | 09/24/2008 6:18 pm

SirHavin

*reads over at all* ...
I'll reply to this. *points upward* Eventually. Right now I really don't feel like typing out everything I wanna say. I feel like s**t. But trust me, I am so in the mood to rant. Especially today. My dad got on my nerves 'cause I stayed home sick. -.-+

Report | 09/21/2008 11:00 pm

kuro_hinote_katana

I don't get what my parents think is ok and what's not. If I come home crying about something that happened at school, they would tell me I should've stood up for myself. If I stand up for myself and get in trouble with the school, I would get in trouble with them too. It's really annoying and it forces me to bottle things in and not trust people. Every time I think about this kind of s**t, it makes me smile bitterly to know that society tries to say that family is the one thing you can go to...and they're not. It's like going to a man-eating beat for help. But I know what you mean about teachers. I feel the same way. I don't give a s**t what anyone tells me, those mother ******** can't be trusted. When a teacher tells me off during class or something, I get mad too and sometimes start crying, but I try really hard to keep it from happening. I'm not sure if my teachers were racist, but they sure as hell didn't like us. Every day they would just lecture about how much we would all fail in life. School isn't a place to learn, it's a place to be told you suck a** and will end up dead on the streets. I get what you're saying, parents just can't be pleased. Nothing we do seems to make them happy and everything seems to make them mad, right?


Heh, yep, you know me well. You guys at the guild all know me better than anyone else does. That's not really a bad thing to keep holding grudges, all long as it doesn't control you. I have some grudges I hold even when the other person forgets. I can still remember the one incident that caused me to stop trusting my mom. She probably doesn't remember, but I still hate her for it.


Damn, that sucks. Is there any way to get your social security number back? Hm, yeah, it sucks when parents don't listen, even when it's for their own benefit. And even if you were in 12th grade, people would still be immature. It takes a long time for some people to mature...and some people never do. *is poked* You're welcome. ^.^ *hugs*


*is pat* Hm. Well, I feel for you too, since you have it worse than I do. I know how it feels to go to school while feeling like s**t. It's hard for me to stay awake. I fell asleep in almost every class on Friday. Yeah, I have a cold. Well, technically, I don't know if my mom cusses. She says things in Chinese and I'm not good at translating sometimes. She could be cussing, but I wouldn't really know. My mom didn't aim for the butt since it can absorb pain better than anything else. She would hit my head, my legs, and my hands. Mostly my hands...I think it was because those are what I use to do most things. She would grab my arm to make sure I couldn't get away and then would just hit it. I can't really cuss in front of my parents because I have to speak Chinese to them and I don't know Chinese cuss words. I am an angry person...just not all the time. You can probably tell after this comment, since there's more cuss words. Anyway, I just stay away from thinking about these things. If I do, it just sets off all the memories I have of why I hate my mom, which then just leads to why I hate life. I'd rather not force myself to be suicidal or anything. I talked to someone about getting beat before and he told me being hit with a belt is worse than a stick. Gave some scientific explanation that I don't remember. Yes, Jade's really wise. Most of your characters are. Education doesn't give you wisdom. It gives you a s**t load of junk to remember that isn't helpful. I wasn't really thinking about how your dad reminds me of my mom. I was thinking more about how he makes you mad and I can't stand that. Hm. Well, my mom and I get along when she's not in a bad mood, but it's hard to tell when she is and when she isn't. How I usually tell is if she yells at me when I do anything, but obviously by then it's too late to try to avoid getting yelled at. But I don't try to talk to her or anything, so it's usually ok then. Basically as long as we don't have to deal with each other, we're fine. That's 

Report | 09/21/2008 8:50 pm

SirHavin

I see what you mean. But in my family, to beat the s**t outta someone who pisses you off isn't punishable. It's a good thing. But for some reason, in the back of my mind, I always think my dad will get mad at me for gettin' into a fight with a teacher or somethin'. Like, my math teacher. She seriously pissed me off. I started to cry. *blushes in shame* It was so stupid. But anyway, I was lookin' through A-san's art book and the teacher got mad at me. That pissed me off. I dunno, when it comes to teachers somethin' in my just clicks and I lose it. I hate teachers. I can't stand 'em. All of mine were racist bitches. I've only liked 2 or 3 of my teachers in all the years I've gone to school. I wanted to hurt her. I don't give a damn if she's pregnant. *rubs throat* I didn't tell my parents though. They would've gotten mad at me. See that s**t? No matter how I look at it, they're gunna get mad at me.


I agree completely.


Ah, I see. I kinda figured. Heh. I know you well~ ^^ ...Anyway. *shifty eyes* I tend to hold grudges people forget.


I don't have my social security number anymore. I can't get ID without it. And without ID, I can't get a job. I blame my mom... -.-+ She lost it. As for driving... I know you're right, but I wish my parents would listen to reason. *sighs* ...Just bein' in a class with all those immature little retards... *twitchy eye* It really gets on my nerves. *shrugs* Oh well. It is what it is. *pokes* Thanks for the assurance, buddy. ^^


... *blinks* Wow, dude...your mom really is like my dad... It's almost scary... *pats* I feel ya, dude. I feel ya. *sighs* I feel like s**t. But I still gotta go to school. It's such bullshit. So, you have a cold too, right? *clears ichy throat* Why doesn't your mom cuss? Sounds like she's the type of woman to do that. *shakes head* Parents are dis-illusional, dude...seriously. Both my parents' parents do that too. They're all like, "We don't remember that." *rolls eyes* ...My dad never hit me with a stick. Only the belt. -.-+ And only on the butt and legs. And our hands, when we put 'em in the way. Oh, and he'd slap us stupid when we cussed. He still does though. Dude...how are you not an angry person? I'm pissy as it is, but if my dad hit me with a stick... That's even worse than the belt, if you ask me. *inclines head* ...Heh. Quotin' Jade-sama, are we? He is wise, even though he only has a 4th grade education. Heh-heh. *blinks* I see you're kinda gettin' mad. Well, it's understandable. He must really remind you of your mom, just like how she reminds me of him. -sweatdrop- Which is weird... *clears throat* ...Well, I agree with ya on all counts. No offense taken. I think he acts like a kid too. *nods, nods* Exactly. If he doesn't care about me, I won't care about him. *stretches* Ah... But right now I'm not all that mad at him, 'cause he didn't get mad at me like he usually would've 'cause of my bad sense of direction. So yeah. *shrugs* Sometimes I can deal with him, most times I can't. What about your and your mom? Have you ever gotten along?


Isn't it so annoying? It's like you guys are the only ones who don't "wonder" about me. In my aunt's case, she thinks I'm gay. My sister has told me she thinks I'm gay. My dad accusingly asked me if I was gay. My brother jokes about it. My uncle told me... *twitchy eye* Well, he called me a freak, like I said. *nods* And my brother /should/ leave me alone. My sister especially. Usually my brother doesn't care, but he felt like being annoying yesterday. -.-+ My sister...as you know, she /always/ cares. *rolls eyes* My brother and I both agree she's annoying. She gets on his case about his dress-code too. So yeah. Heh. At least I'm not alone. Well, sometimes I'm not. *pokes* And I'm not with you either. ^^ *smirks* I use words like that all the time. I'm not racist, so I don't have to tip-toe around black people and crap. They're people. And I usually prefer 'em over white people. I'm...kinda racist to white people... *shifty eyes* Jus

Report | 09/21/2008 5:06 pm

kuro_hinote_katana

It's not bad too think things over before doing it. Once at school I got mad at someone and tried to beat them up. I got in trouble, got detention and everything. The teacher said I'd be suspended if it happened again. I've been trying to hide it/deny it since then so that no one in my family finds out, or I'll be in even more trouble. That happened again later on, but during a summer program, so I thankfully didn't get detention or anything.
I don't find it all that interesting either. I mean, it's interesting at first when you find out someone's way younger or way older than you think, but after that it doesn't really matter anymore.
Yeah, I tend to hold grudges too. My memory can remember some things from a long time ago, though other things are just completely gone from my memory. But if the other person forgets, then I feel like there's no reason to keep being mad, because it means they obviously didn't really mean what they did/said, so I get over it eventually. But if the other person keeps it up, then I never forgive them as long as they keep bringing it up or doing the same thing over and over again. Don't feel stupid, I made it seem like I was being serious about it.
Well, since you'll be 18, it'll be a lot easier for you to get a job. And it's fine if you can't drive. It costs so much to drive anyway. Don't worry about still being a sophomore. Most of that is because you had to be out of school to help your mom.
Nothing's really wrong here. Just stress from school, mostly.
Hm. My mom's like your dad, only not as bad. She gets mad at me too when I get sick, like how I am right now. Though I'm still able to go to school, so it's not that bad. I force myself to go to school even when I'm sick and my parents partly force me to go too. My parents don't know what grounding means, so I haven't been grounded before, but my mom does yell at me, using the same insults your dad uses, just without the cuss words. And I know how you feel about the babying part. My parents do the same thing, but they say, "We've always taken care of you and shown you love" even though whenever I cried when I was younger, my mom would take a stick and beat me with it. Any time I did /anything/ wrong, she would use it. If I were eating too slow or too fast. If I didn't respond to her calling me fast enough, if I ran in the house, things like that. I agree with you, he shouldn't have been complaining about going to work on his birthday. As Jade said, birthdays are just a state of mind. No one really gives a s**t if you have to work on that day. He needs to get over himself. And yes, he shouldn't complain about walking home. At my school, there's no more school buses. We all have to take the public bus. And if you live too close to school, they won't give you a bus pass to take the bus. I'm one of those kids, so I have to walk a mile and a half home everyday. (My dad drives me to school in the morning.) No offense, but your dad acts like a bratty kid. But I agree with you on not caring about his feelings since he doesn't care about yours. That's what I do to my mom.
Yeah, I hate shopping too. All my family members "wonder" about me.../everyone/. It's a little annoying, but whatever. It just means I'm not like them, which is fine by me. Your brother should leave you alone if you want to buy guy clothes. Besides, I heard they were cheaper, which is always a good thing. Heh, the stuff with that black guy sounds funny though. Hm, though I personally wouldn't use that word....that's just the way I am.
Hm. Well, I still wish you a happy birthday, even if they don't. I wish I could see you in real life and get you something though. But I plan to someday. ^.^

Report | 09/21/2008 2:08 pm

SirHavin

How annoying. -.-+


I guess. *shrugs* No point in ranting if you're actually not that mad you can't use the face anymore.


*smirks* Nice, dude. Nice. *sighs a little, thinking over something* ...I tend to hold myself back from hurting people. I don't quite know why. I shouldn't really care about the consiquences. But I think it over too much. I walk around so ********' angry all the time, I just might kill (or try to kill) someone if I let myself. Why waste my life on some retard? *crosses arms* Meh... I probably just think too damn much...


That would've been weird. And I don't try to guess people's age because I don't find it that interesting.


*shrugs* Doubt it. I know I tend to hold grudges everyone else forgets about. Are you like that? *sweatdrops* Oh. Heh... *rubs back of head, feeling stupid*


... *nods, nods* I know what you mean. I'm gunna be 18 this monday and I don't have a job. I don't know how to drive. I'm still a sophmore. It's pathetic.


... *shrugs* Suit yourself.


Anything wrong on your end, dude?


I still get mad thinkin' about it. *stretches* It's my dad. More than half the time I hate him. Get this bullshit, dude. If I stay from from school because I'm sick, I get GROUNDED. What the ******** kind of s**t is that? Is it my ******** fault I get sick? ******** no. So why the ******** do I get grounded for it? That's what he called it. Yelling. Cussing. Breaking his kids down with comments like "That's why you're a fat a**." He said that to my sister. And, "You'll never make it anywhere if you keep being this ******** lazy." That was too all of us. Don't forget, "You baby them, they're why they're ******** like that." That one was to my mom. /Baby/ us? /Baby us/? What is he? Retarded? Neither of them have ever "babied" us. *air quotes* We grew up on no hugs and no ********' love. We grew up on, "Why are you crying? I'll give you a reason to cry!" Then he'd beat us on the a** with the damn belt 'til it hurt to sit down. That's not being babied. You think that's being babied? All that bullshit. *bitter smile* Yeah. He calls it being "grounded" now. I was SICK, dude, I shouldnt've have been walking around and cleaning the ********' house up. It was ********' retarded. He's a bi-polar a*****e. One minute he's happy, the next he's all pissed off again. Who cares if he had to work on his birthday? I have to go to school on my birthday every damn year. I'm used to it. I don't give a s**t. So what if he walked home partway? Once when no one came to pick me and my brother up from school we had to walk home. It hurt like s**t, my foot was killing me. Did I get to my grandparents and start screaming at them like he did my mom? No. If he doesn't care about his kids' feelings, why the hell should we care about his? We shouldn't. And we don't.


Right now... I'm not specifically mad right now. I mean, yestderday was okay. We got to eat fancy and stuff. Got 20 bucks from my grandma. But I'm bad at resurants. -_-+ I always look like an idiot. I looked like a moron last year too. First, they took me shopping though. -.-+ I hate shopping. Everyone but my grandma got on my nerves. My aunt "wonders" about me. I don't give a s**t if it was a joke...I don't find that amusting. My uncle called me a "freak". My sister always calls me a freak. And my brother told me to get outta the dudes section. -.-+ ...Ha. What happened next was funny, though. I was like, "Get outta here, ******." Then this black dude turns around and stares at me, like, "What the ********?!" I just busted out laughin', dude. It was hysterical. I called my brother a "******" in front of a *****. *laughs again* That was awesome... *wipes eyes* ...But anyway, then my brother's like, "You gotta stop talking like that. One day you're gunna get your a** whupped." Then I was like, "By a *****?" And they were all like, "Stop saying that!" I just laughed. Then I told my brother, "You say '*****' all the time." He was like, "No, I don't!" My sister and me go, "Yeah, you do.

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"...'Normal' is everyone... Everyone is different... There is no such thing as 'normal'..." ~Sanjaro Rain Iceshin-sama