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WHO ARE YOU?
I am as worthless as those most deem worthy only of being stepped upon. But do not think for a moment that I am weak. It
saddens me to think upon this, as many of you will do... Correct?
The shame, underneath our crisp clothes and seemingly sociable exterior, nothing can hide that our carnal needs for another’s
suffering take over depending on the situation at hand.
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
I do not hold that answer.
No, I do, maybe... I breathe every breath for those I love, mutually of course. I cannot love, I guess my mind cannot dabble in
love, as it is both so simple yet unfathomably complex in every way, and still no form.
It can destroy you, or save you. Make you, break you. It can be your lifeline, or the cold steel object that cuts it.
No, I do not believe in love.
It is to me, nothing more than a fourth-dimensional paradox, congruent arguments within itself that cancel out, yet support itself all the same.
No, my dear reader... Love, should not, exist.
But it does, or at least we perceive so.
Seize it, make it yours, just be careful.
I will forever remain here to guide others, that much is etched into ever fiber of my being. I seek nothing in return, other than to grant someone
a reason to smile, even of it is only fleeting.
As long as you can make another smile, you have a purpose.
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?
I am a freelance illustrator, though I suppose you could call me a starving artist. No, I will not do art commissions for you. Don't take it wrong, I would love
nothing more than to do that, but sustaining incomes as an artist does not grant me the privilege of being able to paint for all of my customers, therefore painting for
just a few would be highly unfair.
The rest of what I do gains no income. I provide online support for people going through depression, and/or have suicidal tendencies. I listen to anyone, and
everyone, no matter how big or how small their troubles are. I do not judge them, it is strictly unbiased and as friendly as one could get with a stranger.
I DON'T THINK YOU CAN HELP ME WITH MINE...
If you ever need someone to talk to, i'll always be here, no matter who you are. If you happened to chance across my profile as a stranger, or you are a
long-term friend. I can only hope you do not doubt this, but no-one can understand unless they've been there.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "I HAVE BEEN THERE"?
I once waded in the cess pool we call depression, seeking escape, and I know it is not pleasant. It can leave your veins feeling like ice, and everything seems
hopeless, but its not. I do not wish to speak of my troubles, purely to protect the identities of those involved. But I will say this.
I accepted my death once, now nothing can fix that. Even psychologists claim I cannot be helped. But it also helped me realize something.
As long as you live, you can make a difference for others. As long as you can make someone smile or relate, you, have a purpose.
YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND, NO-ONE CAN, I'M ALONE IN THIS.
I can smile as I announce that you are incorrect, though it will unfortunately be rueful and tainted with sadness.
There are plenty of people that are going through something similar to whatever you are going through right now. Maybe you don't even know why you feel
this way, just know its not an illness.
Its not a disease, and there is NOTHING wrong with you. You are perfectly sane.
Depression and suicidal tendencies, along with thoughts, come from our minds and emotions being pushed past their limit. This could mean that something
devastating, feeling like a failure, a burden, grieving...
OKAY... YOU SOUND LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING, BUT I HATE PSYCHOLOGISTS, THEY (WOULD) FORCE ME TO TALK.
I would never force you to tell me whats wrong, its entirely your choice, and always will be.
Nor will I tell you not to. That is also your choice. But, what I can do is help you find reasons not to feel depressed.
Just know you are strong, never forget that. Something has pushed past what you can psychologically handle, but never think that this makes you weak.
BUT I TEND TO PUSH PEOPLE AWAY AND HURT THEM, WOULDN'T THAT HURT YOU?
No, pushing me away will not hurt me, because I understand why you do so.
Pushing people away is usually your way of protecting them, and yourself. It’s never done in spite unless you intend to.
Its a reflex you naturally have for those you care about. If its something that you don't want to affect them, you instinctively repel them. The closer they are,
the more you try to.
I JUST CAN'T STOP BEING DEPRESSED, AM I ILL OR INSANE?
There is NOTHING wrong with being depressed or suicidal. Its not an illness, its not a choice, or a lifestyle. It means you are struggling to cope and need an
outlet, or a way out.
Hopefully you find me and can use me as an outlet before you find relief by harming yourself or doing something you'll regret, I respond to everyone.
I KNOW YOU SAID YOU REPLY TO STRANGERS TOO, BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN MET, I DON'T WANT TO TROUBLE YOU WITH MY PROBLEMS.
Just, talking to someone that knows what you are going through, even if you talk about stupid things and avoid anything related to being depressed, that will help.
And remember, whenever you want to talk, no matter how big or small, about something troubling you or what taco topping you should get, I'm here.
DO YOU HAVE ANY... ADVICE? I'M NOT READY TO TALK TO ANYONE. AND PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME QUOTES.
We are only human, and we can only take so much, that is when we need support and a way to get through our troubles. Don't forget that every single problem
you could possibly go through gets better if you stick your finger up at it and endure it.
And what if?
Think about this. What if, you did commit, you'd never know what happens a few minutes later, the next day, or the next week. You could have a new sibling,
or meet someone that would be one of your best friends, become a parent, or even save someone’s life. Never give up until you are absolutely certain that you
will have no regrets.
And given life expectancy is at seventy-five years... The chances are, you haven't tasted your favorite food, heard your funniest joke, or met the best people,
not until you are forty-seven.
CAN I ADD YOU?
Yes! As long as you are still seeking advice, you are a long way from hitting the bottom. There is a big step between being suicidal and seeking help, and being
suicidal and trying to commit it.
But it is NEVER too late, and there are ALWAYS going to be people out there that can relate, understand you, and offer help without seeking anything in return.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope that you know you have an outlet, waiting right here to help you.